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Original poster

I told him our daughter was in hospital - no message from him

114 replies

Purplerose248 · 16/04/2025 21:09

I just feel so much anger as me & my DC(1) are away and she ended up in hospital yesterday with bronchitis, I told my DP this and he just said “ oh she is in good hands then”, no follow up no asking how she is doing nothing- for two days.

He rarely asks how we are doing, he literally acts like a distant family member since we left.

He is not interested - for those thinking he is busy - he is not as he is probably just gaming all day long.

I just don’t understand how a parent can act like this.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 17/04/2025 10:57

pilates · 16/04/2025 21:22

Hopefully this has given you the wake up call you need to get rid!

Absolutely. Terrible even for an ex living a distance away. But from a partner. Wtf. Get rid. He is a waste of space.

MissyB1 · 17/04/2025 10:55

You keep saying "partner" but you said you are married, is that correct? Also who are you staying with, is it your family?

Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:53

Moveoverdarlin · 17/04/2025 10:47

I didn’t know gaming was such a thing for grown men until I came on Mumsnet. It’s like an instant ick for me. I find it so immature. I can’t believe busy, working Dad’s sit and game for hours. Scrolling on the phone is a bit different as in fairness they could be working, on news sites, banking and doing life admin. But a grown man chasing round race tracks or hunting down the baddies is such a fucking turn-off.

To me it’s no different to a Mum in her thirties saying ‘I can’t make Tuesdays because I play with my Barbie dolls then’.

He sounds an utter waster.

I know but he didn’t tell me many things about himself - I only found out once we got married and moved in together.
On a random working day he will go in his room and do gaming. I found it so weird but I was in love.
This followed by death of his loved one he turned into a monster - he will yell in front of my family , he will call me names like “idiot”, “cunt”, “fuck off”, “waste of space”. But in front of his family he calls me “darling”. I’m so confused.

Since we had our DC the emotional abuse just got worse.

OP posts:
Bumblebeestiltskin · 17/04/2025 10:52

Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:46

I’m away mostly to give him space as I think he had enough of me and my little one. He told me he needs space, however I thought being away will make him release he misses us - but not probably he realised it’s just over.

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Please give him SO MUCH SPACE - leave him.

And I'm so sorry to say this, but I think you should prepare yourself for solo parenting, because he doesn't seem particularly bothered about being a parent 😔

loropianalover · 17/04/2025 10:49

Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:46

I’m away mostly to give him space as I think he had enough of me and my little one. He told me he needs space, however I thought being away will make him release he misses us - but not probably he realised it’s just over.

Show quote history

But where have you been away for a month? Did you pack for a month? What about clothes, toys, meals, work? Are you with family, can you stay there? Do you have the finances to get your own place?

TheSlantedOwl · 17/04/2025 10:49

Stay in the house, start divorce proceedings. You’re entitled to 50% unless the house he inherited was legally tied up?

Moveoverdarlin · 17/04/2025 10:47

I didn’t know gaming was such a thing for grown men until I came on Mumsnet. It’s like an instant ick for me. I find it so immature. I can’t believe busy, working Dad’s sit and game for hours. Scrolling on the phone is a bit different as in fairness they could be working, on news sites, banking and doing life admin. But a grown man chasing round race tracks or hunting down the baddies is such a fucking turn-off.

To me it’s no different to a Mum in her thirties saying ‘I can’t make Tuesdays because I play with my Barbie dolls then’.

He sounds an utter waster.

Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:46

Bumblebeestiltskin · 17/04/2025 10:43

A) He's disgusting - hope your little girl is on the road to recovery, and she's lucky to have you!
B) You need to divorce him
C) Why are you swerving all the questions asking why you've been 'away' for a month?

I’m away mostly to give him space as I think he had enough of me and my little one. He told me he needs space, however I thought being away will make him release he misses us - but not probably he realised it’s just over.

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 17/04/2025 10:45

See a solicitor the minute you get back. Take this worthless man to the cleaners. How can he not care about his wee sick daughter?

Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:44

LadyDanburysHat · 17/04/2025 10:39

I would have expected more of a response from a partner who was not the childs father than what you got from him. How can he not have moved heaven and earth to be by the side of his child. He really does not care about her or you at all.

I knew that for a while - but this now has just proved it all. And I feel sorry and sad for my baby.
I will be fine - I can live without him but my poor baby.
I worked so hard so my baby doesn’t have a broken home - but it runs in my partners family, everyone is divorced there, his mum left him when he was young - she never bothered to ask how he is doing. I guess this is engraved in him.

If I only tell you how he was presenting to me at the beginning of our relationship and until we got married.
He was saying he will “move” mountains to be with his children, he will be a dedicated father, and all this absolute bullocks.

OP posts:
OneFineDay13 · 17/04/2025 10:44

This is very depressing you need to get Sam way from him asap. He is draining the life from you and doesn't give a shit about his daughter.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 17/04/2025 10:43

A) He's disgusting - hope your little girl is on the road to recovery, and she's lucky to have you!
B) You need to divorce him
C) Why are you swerving all the questions asking why you've been 'away' for a month?

loropianalover · 17/04/2025 10:42

Where are you ‘away’ - can you stay there?

LadyDanburysHat · 17/04/2025 10:39

I would have expected more of a response from a partner who was not the childs father than what you got from him. How can he not have moved heaven and earth to be by the side of his child. He really does not care about her or you at all.

Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:39

Pinknailpen · 17/04/2025 08:39

How’s little one today- my ds had bronchitis a few time when he was little I’ve never forgotten how terrifying it is. Poor baby hugs to you both.

as for your partner he’s no father he’s a self absorbed, lazy manchild with zero cares in the world- whilst you are worried sick caring for your child in hospital. You sounds like a wonderful mum and you and your baby deserve so much more than this. He is nothing but a hindrance to you and baby’s happiness- I very very rarely say this but please leave the bastard.

It’s very worrying - she is still very active and a very happy young toddler but she coughs a lot and we need to get rid of this infection. Her lungs are so little.

I agree with you - he became a cruel person who doesn’t care about anyone anymore probably only his porn & gaming.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 10:34

Thingyfandingi · 17/04/2025 08:46

That's so unattractive..
What do you mean by you're away? Away at the hospital, away on holiday, away visiting relatives etc
I hope your little one bounces back very soon!

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The thing is I know him very well and he is cruel person who enjoys torturing me mentally.

He knows that this behavior is wrong and that I am worried and he makes me feel so lonely and belittled.

OP posts:
Thingyfandingi · 17/04/2025 08:46

Purplerose248 · 16/04/2025 22:49

The funniest thing is he never told me he was addicted to gaming. I found about it only when we moved in together permanently. At one point he didn’t work for 2 years he was just gaming.

Edited
Show quote history

That's so unattractive..
What do you mean by you're away? Away at the hospital, away on holiday, away visiting relatives etc
I hope your little one bounces back very soon!

Pinknailpen · 17/04/2025 08:39

How’s little one today- my ds had bronchitis a few time when he was little I’ve never forgotten how terrifying it is. Poor baby hugs to you both.

as for your partner he’s no father he’s a self absorbed, lazy manchild with zero cares in the world- whilst you are worried sick caring for your child in hospital. You sounds like a wonderful mum and you and your baby deserve so much more than this. He is nothing but a hindrance to you and baby’s happiness- I very very rarely say this but please leave the bastard.

Copperoliverbear · 17/04/2025 08:29

I think it’s time to move out permanently, you are wasting your life and as far as we know, you only get one.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 17/04/2025 08:28

I’m so sorry. He’s not bothered about you or his child at all is he? Well at least now you know so you can get on with your lives without him. Get some legal advice about the money. If you’re married me he’s your child’s biological father I don’t think he can expect you to just walk away with nothing.

Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 08:24

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 17/04/2025 03:34

@Purplerose248 have you been in another country for a month??? who inherited the house, you or your husband/partner???

It’s his inheritance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 08:24

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 17/04/2025 06:50

He sounds awful..

He's damaging your child psychologically... How awful.

I'd get to a solicitor as soon as.... Am sure you'll have a lot of rights re house... As you have young family.

Don't let him know your ure consulting a lawyer.

Then decide what you want to do

Honestly, I feel sorry for her the most as she will be growing without a dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplerose248 · 17/04/2025 08:23

oakl79 · 17/04/2025 06:17

How is she doing this morning? Hope she's feeling better.

This is would be a deal breaker for me. He's shown you where your child comes on his list of priorities. He should have unconditional love. He should be texting you frequently asking how she is. He should have offered to come and be with you. He should have shown you he loved and cares for you both. The only concern he's shown his gaming. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a man like this?

I have questioned him yesterday on how it’s possible for him not to ask how his daughter is and that I’m very disappointed for him not answering any of our calls or calling back and guess what no answer he even might have blocked me now.

OP posts:
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 17/04/2025 06:50

He sounds awful..

He's damaging your child psychologically... How awful.

I'd get to a solicitor as soon as.... Am sure you'll have a lot of rights re house... As you have young family.

Don't let him know your ure consulting a lawyer.

Then decide what you want to do

oakl79 · 17/04/2025 06:17

How is she doing this morning? Hope she's feeling better.

This is would be a deal breaker for me. He's shown you where your child comes on his list of priorities. He should have unconditional love. He should be texting you frequently asking how she is. He should have offered to come and be with you. He should have shown you he loved and cares for you both. The only concern he's shown his gaming. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a man like this?

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