Why do people hate big families?

I dislike large families because I came from one. If I saw 2 adults with 7 children I’d probably inwardly eye roll. I wouldn’t be obviously unpleasant but I do hold assumptions about the parenting ability when the adult is outnumbered 4 to 1.

People don’t hate big families, they just dislike over bearing groups of children when they only have one or two.

A group of children who all know each other well will be loud, and will probably look like they’re having more fun than the family who have a much smaller number of children. People don’t want to take their children on days out where other children are having more fun than their own.

I think a well-behaved group of 4-7 older children can still be noisier than a family without children or with one/two much smaller children are used to. I wouldn't take it personally, OP. When I had one wobbly toddler I did worry a bit about her being knocked over by excited older children because accidents happen but it was never intended as a slight to them, it was just about my perception of my kid's ability to manage around them.

They probably think you'll all take over the space.

We don't get this at all - I have 3 children, currently pregnant with my 4th.

I have people stop and say complimentary things about my kids and talk to them.

Some people might look at us sometimes and wonder if we're crazy/how we cope having so many kids with small age gaps.

But nobody has ever said anything negative to us.

Okay then if you are going to join in, play on the swings, carry a small child with ice cream, play tag or deal with juice cartons, you need stretchable, quick dry, easy wash clothing.

I agree, people's perceptions of their own family are very different to other people's.

I have a friend with four children and it's just constant whining, arguing and fighting for the parent's attention. I find it absolutely exhausting to witness but she claims it's great.

I think your kids are louder than you think OP.

I'd move too. I don't want to be surrounded by badly behaved kids and you can't tell on first glance which will be horrors and which won't, so I will avoid the issue altogether if I can.

I've got a couple of friends with big families (5 & 6 children respectively) and honestly their children aren't as well behaved as my two (because it's harder to supervise more children not because I'm a better parent) and they are loud. My friends don't notice the volume, and you probably don't either.

I also dread getting stuck behind a big group at farm or activity pay desks because it takes forever - how many children, how many of what age, who wants animal feed, who wants soft play tokens....just hurry up.

I would move over if 6 loud boys would come my way tbh. No matter whether they're related or not.

It only takes one knob child
Why assume a group together are instantly going to be the dicks?

innocent until proven guilty

Seven children arriving en masse is going to impact the place they arrive in. They are a group, and because of that will dominate the space, make a lot of noise and generally take up a lot of room moving around together. It might also feel a bit intimidating to lone DC to have them all turn up together at the playground. People don't necessarily hate large families to prefer not to have to share space with them. They should keep this to thenselves though as it's not the DCs fault.

My SIL has seven kids.

she thinks they are a lovely close family who play together really well.

i think they’re pretty feral, incredibly loud and bloody annoying.

I imagine 6 boys together are quite rowdy even if you’re used to it.

I was one of 4 and no reactions like this although we were 3 girls 1 boy so maybe people perceived us to be less rowdy??

It might be that the children make a bit of a commotion and are rowdy. But as you’re used to them being like that you are eye and ear blind to it. I’d move too, as it sounds a bit lively for my preferences (and what I am used to).

4 such frosty receptions within a week suggests you are more disruptive than you think.

Yes I wonder if it’s this. Although from the examples it’s not clear whether there were 2 or more adults in charge of 7 kids.

Also a big group can dominate and take over (not necessarily families, I mean any group outing). I wouldn’t think this would matter so much at a farm or big outdoor place where the kids are spread out though.

The common denominator here appears to be you.

Perhaps your version of “happy, excited and running” isn’t as tame as you think it is? The issue I have with large families is, they tend to congregate in groups which makes it really difficult for us to get to places with my disabled daughter, sometimes it seems they lose all sense of the sheer amount of space they take up and how loud they can be. But, we also understand the world doesn’t revolve around us either and we just have to suck it up and move on. If we move away from you as a big family it isn’t because we hate you, it’s because our daughter just can’t cope with it.

People moving away doesn't mean they hate big families, though. It could just be that they'd prefer to move somewhere quieter - acknowledging that your family had just as much right to be there as them.

Seven children will be noisy, even just chatting normally. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing wrong with wanting to avoid the noise, either. If people are just moving away or calmly discussing moving away, you need to stop being oversensitive. It doesn't mean they 'hate' your family.

I don’t think anyone has an issue at all with big families as long as you can afford to support them, and parent them in public so that they don’t negatively impact other people.

I agree with others, it’s probably not that they hate big families but rather than 7 excited children appearing all at once in a big group, even if well behaved, are not going to be a particularly calm or quiet bunch! It probably comes across a bit rowdy, so people will move out the way to give you space, and the comment about bad timing is surely quite obviously just about having the stand behind/queue for longer due to the big group?

Ok I'm in my 50s but have 50+ first cousins!!! When we turned up it was like the tribes of Israel. People think you are travellers or the kids will run riot. Also that you will take over everything.

in our case we'd be toast if we even thought of stepping out of line! I was 25 both my parents had died and one of my aunties went nuts because she thought I was too skinny!!! I was spot on for bmi!

If I had seen 7 excited kids jumping out a mini bus I wouldn’t assume you were a large family. I’d assume it was a birthday party or something.

& yeah it would “disturb the peace” a bit even in a place designed for children. It isn’t about hating large families.

I would imagine with 7 kids there’s quite a spread of ages. Sometimes it can be quite tedious when you are at an activity that is clearly more small child friendly (farm, certain soft plays) & then kids 10+ come barrelling in amongst what is mostly kids under 6.

This. I like seeing children playing and being happy and excited, but I find lots of noise overwhelming. I’d never ask or expect other people to be quiet outdoors, but I would move myself to somewhere quieter. It’s not personal - and I’d do the same with adults.