Why do people hate big families?

I have 5. Four boys and a girl. I've never had a reaction like that, ever. My children are exceptionally well behaved. I get stares, but when people realise my DS is severely disabled they get so awkward they can't look away quick enough! 😆

Maybe similar to me a few weeks ago, lovely seaside dine in fish and chip shop. DH and I having a lovely time and in shuffled around 10 pensioners with their walking frame on wheels things.

Peace and tranquility shattered with all the shouting once the hearing aides were off, I mentioned to DH I'm heading off for a quick pee mid meal as once all the pensioners need there will be a heck of a long queue 😆.

It's probably not that they are kids, it's just a larger group can slow everyone else down and get under your feet and a group of kids can feel like a gang especially if you are trying to take your one kid to the park and can't get on any of the swings etc.

Parents who never think their child can do no wrong and make no effort to instil behaviour are the real issue here. Sets an expectation and a presumption in some that all children will be like that.

As for large families, I will judge dads who dump their wife or partner for younger women or are serially unfaithful. Jacob Rees-Mogg has six children, I will only object to his views on many issues. Whereas Boris Johnson I judge because of his behaviour and infidelity towards however many women he has had relationships with.

Come on OP, surely you can understand that it’s not an objection to large families. It’s just seeing a large group arriving at the same time, knowing there’ll now be more competition for play equipment, space etc. It’s a bit like going to a restaurant and seeing that a table of 10 has just sat down and ordered 2 minutes before you. You know they’re going to make the restaurant noisier, and your food will take longer to arrive.

Seven children excitedly running around and chatting... can't imagine why people don't want to be surrounded by that.

Yes this.

OP, I find it weird you’ve assumed they automatically think it’s a big family. I have zero kids but have been one of 2/3 adults in charge of 7 kids before who are not from the same family .

The issue (for some people) is the number of kids or the behaviour /noise levels of those kids.

I was in a hotel gym last year and some daft man left a bunch of out of control tweens and younger teens messing around in there while he popped out for the hotel breakfast . I have no idea if it was a family or a sports team/youth club etc but I was that close to reporting him as under 16s weren’t supposed to be unsupervised in there - luckily for him he re-entered just as I was about to .

My issue wasn’t about big families though - I don’t even know if they were a family. It makes no difference to me. All I know is that they were being a nuisance and were poorly supervised.

6 boisterous boys and a girl, I’d probably (inwardly) roll my eyes too.

No hate for large families here, but to me it sounds like the first woman was irritated at having to be behind a large group at the ticket office (it is tedious being behind large groups; they always seem to faff and take ages over things) and then secondly, I think people who have perhaps one small child can be a bit judgy about older, more boisterous children. No issue with kids running around having fun at play areas but to be totally honest, I am often not in the mood to be near noise, chaos and people intruding on my personal space, which would possibly affect my reactions!

They presume you are on benefits.

It’s just noisy and annoying. You’re not doing anything wrong but existing but neither are they.

Only 4?! Round my part of London, families of 8 are common.

Relax. People are dicks. If your kids are nicely behaved then don’t let some miseryguts ruin your fun.

Your kids definitely aren't as well-behaved as you think they are.

Of course no one would want to be in close proximity to 6 boys + 1 girl, supervised by just two adults. This is a no brainer…

People hate annoying loud misbehaved kids, not large families
honestly we’re the kids being annoying?

people need to realise the world doesn’t give a shit or revolve around your kids

Exactly, they can be loud if they want

You could say other people are too quiet.

It's probably the adult to child ratio as well. High number of children so more chance of rowdiness and noise. I've also noticed as well that older siblings are often charged with keeping younger ones in line and that often doesn't go well either.

That's odd, I used to be a childminder and never had that. I used to get the odd 'are they all yours??'..I was always tempted to answer with 'they've all got different fathers'. Never got any negativity though and it's not like I was in a branded car or clothes either.

My DP is one of 6. He said as kids they were never invited en masse to other relatives houses

I think it’s important to keep in mind that people generally only really like their own children. So when 7 young, excited, chatty kids come piling into a farm/play area/picnic area, people are bound to feel a bit overcome. Larger groups of excited children do take over to some extent- even just their voices and laughter can over power.
My niece is a shy little girl and gets quite overwhelmed so we would probably move to a quieter area if 7 loud children arrived in one go.

The fact you’ve had a few people make comments makes me wonder if your group of kids are a little louder/wilder than you really realise. Perhaps you are used to that level of noise on a daily basis, but a lot of people aren’t.

All I’m going to say is your tolerance and understanding of what is ‘excitement’ and normal for 4-7 kids will often be very different than that of a family with 1-2 kids. I have one and have friends with 3-4. What they tolerate and deem acceptable from their kids is very different than me.

Yes. But my post upthread referred specifically to all-grey tracksuits. It's a very, er, distinctive look and not one which conjured up images if good behaviour...

I've definitely not pulled that sort of face at large families per se (I am from one and have one myself), but I definitely pull it when I see 'excited children'. Other people might describe it as 'high spirited' or 'just being children'.

I have 11 dc... Never take them all out in less than our dining room drapes....

They may have assumed you were childminders

I have 6 kids so have no issues at all with big families, also ran a playscheme so used to big big groups when out, but have recently begun to sigh inwardly when childminders rock up to places. For some reason there are a quite a number now that allow fetal behaviour in their charges.

The childminder we use has stopped going to a local playgroup for that exact reason!

Big families aren’t for me as I come from one and my mother was completely incapable in looking after that many kids of different ages.

that said, as long as the kids are behaving themselves I don’t really care how many kids other people have. Just ignore if the kids genuinely weren’t being a pain in the arse.