12 year olds unsupervised

Assume you knew where they were going and had chance to question what arrangements were before agreeing to it. Personally, I wouldn't feel it necessary to follow young people of that age around all day particularly in what is essentially a sealed off space with lots of staff on hand. If they'd been on a school trip to a theme park at that age they'd have been let loose in groups of 3 so I can't really see much difference. How far was mum away? Able to get there within half an hour? Not really an issue. Maybe be a bit more proactive and ask next time if it worries you?

This is one of the major causes of failure to launch. Children are being given no freedom at all and then we wonder why at 15/16 so many become anxious when we start trying to push them out of the nest. Give them space, give them freedom and watch them fly. The chances of being run over, abducted or other horrors are infinitesimally smaller than the chance of them becoming a very anxious social recluse.

I wouldn't have left their side if I'd been the responsible parent because I would feel responsable for their safety and fear that something went wrong/conflicts/whatever.
On the other hand I wouldn't mind my 11 year old DS being left with a group of friends with his phone. He's very responsable and would call me if something was on.

For goodness sake they were in the area , teenagers had contact details via mobile phone . When people ask on mn why their 36 year olds are unable to socialise ,make plans ,run their own life this is why. We're they given a picnic of crack and told to make their own way home?

YABU
They are a group of high school aged children, during the day, at an amusement park…not really sure the issue here.

They need a bit of freedom away from adults to develop common sense and problem solving skills. I think more parents should allow them be in these situations and stop wrapping them cotton wool tbh.

I think it’s fine at those ages. If I had a ND child who was likely to be overwhelmed in a theme park with his friends I don’t think I’d be sending him off on his own

Lead to believe?

Or basic crossed wires?

I’m happy to take the boys to the theme park on Tuesday and bring them home after.

She means transport. You hear supervise all day and transport. Both reasonable interpretations of ‘take’.

If my DC was liable to get overwhelmed at a theme park, then I wouldn't have been sending them off with someone else's parents without checking first they were okay with that and knew how to handle etc.

If I had a group of kids whose parents hadn't said anything like that I'd assume they'd be fine.

An amusement park? Absolutely. They've been brought places like that by youth clubs and scouts here. Once in, left alone, it's not an issue.

In my DD’s friendship circle (she is now 15) it would have been normal for the parents to discuss things like that when they were that age. Yes the kids might have been left without adults but there would have been an agreement about it and arrangements made in advance.

Although at the younger end of that they wouldn’t have been left totally alone. For example if they wanted to go to the mall with friends, they did that but a parent would still be in the building somewhere, so they could be called if needed.

Completely agree.

I have an 11 yr old and a 13yr old.

With my 13 yr old, I think it would just feel natural for them all to disappear together and leave me behind somewhere! I'd assume their parents would realise this and would b happy with them wandering around the theme park together.if during the day.

With my 11 yr old. Well he's still in primary school, so I'd check with the parents probably, but I would expect them all to say it's fine for them to be without me, assuming they all stick together.

Were there many 11 yr olds? Are they yr 6 or yr 7? How old is your child?

This is completely fine. When we take them on a school trip to an amusement park we don't walk round with them.

Wouldn’t even cross my mind that this could be an issue. At that age they walk to school on their own.

Personally, if we are talking Thorpe Park; Alton Towers type of place. There's no way I'd organise as the parent and then not attend. I'd let them go off alone, but I'd also insist on meeting up for lunch and checking in with them a few times to see where they were in the park. I don't think that's unreasonable for an 11-12 year old child.

Tbh if the 11-13 year old kids were unhappy with my presence then they don't need to come!!

Tbh I’d have assumed they would be on their own. It wouldn’t occur to me that the other parent would stick with them all day.

YABU, they’re old enough.

This would be sort of thing I'd expect them to organise between themselves rather than parents being involved.

So are we talking an amusement park like Thorpe Park?

On the one hand yes, I'd like to be asked because I think you need to know that info and have that talk.

On the other, it is enclosed so its not like they're going to wander off?

I'd be worried about boys TBH as they can act like such prats all together in a group unsupervised. With girls, I'd be worried they'd all fall out and there would be some kind of social dramas!

Either way - no i don't think you're unreasonable at all.

At that age I probably would have been easily available to them- so still in the park - though I know lots of perfectly competent parents ( especially if they have older kids already ) who would have dropped and run . I’m thinking Merlin Parks type level though - I’m not sure if you mean that

Yabu. I wouldn't expect the parent to directly supervise high school kids in an amusement park.
You should have asked for more details

I would have liked to be told too and I absolutely would have told the other parents if I’d been the person taking them.

Like you, I don’t have an issue with it for my own DC but I’d want to know in advance so that I could discuss the arrangements with DC - they are very sensible etc but I’d want to talk about what to do in an emergency etc.

And other people’s DC might not be used to that sort of freedom, so I would definitely tell them what the plan was for the day. I have done this sort of thing myself (took DC to the Trafford Centre for their 11th birthday with friends and let them go shopping on their own for a couple of hours) and made sure that the parents were fine with that in advance.

I'm very chill about these things, but with DS (13) I do let parents know if their kids of same age might be without adult supervision for a bit at our place, and have done for last year or two - 13 might seem a bit old for that but it's only because DS's friends (like him) are all neurodivergent and on the less mature side, so some parents may still want to be assured an adult is a round, or at least know if there isn't going to be. DS is fine to be without adults and has been for a while, but I don't always know about other kids (or their parents)

But I don't think it'll be necessary after this school year as I think everyone will be OK with it by then.

YABU. I recall going to theme parks with school at that age and we were allowed to wander around with our friends unsupervised. My 12 yo old niece recently went to a theme park on a school trip and were left to roam the park unsupervised.

It should have been discussed with the parents in this situation. Theme parks can be very overwhelming and cause meltdowns in ND children. It wouldn't be fair to leave that to be handled by the other children.