Is this a weird response from a friend, after telling her that we are finally getting to go somewhere we’ve always wanted to go

WildBluebells · 2025-04-16T15:33:52+00:00

So catching up with two friends, I say something, in an excited manner, along the lines oh, guess what, we’ve finally gone and booked Florida, so excited friend replies, oh, didn’t you go there last year

broney · 20/04/2025 15:11

What WOULD be weird is when you announce your "holiday of a lifetime" or whatever, your friend replies "Oh I've been there twice and it's rubbish"

Lee21C · 19/04/2025 19:41

I’m not naturally exuberant so I’d rarely express a ‘yay’ or delight at someone else’s holiday booking.
I’d probably just say. ‘Oh that’s nice, it’ll be warm in July when you go.’
If, as you later disclose, your friend has form for raining on your parade have you considered that she might just find it hard to mirror your excitement?
Everybody is different. Maybe she genuinely thought you’d been before or Florida is somewhere she’d loathe so hard to express excitement. Or was she just having a bad day?
I’d really hate that my friend is analysing my reaction to something that is relatively unimportant.

Original poster

WildBluebells · 19/04/2025 06:32

sewsewsewyourboats · 18/04/2025 05:49

It’s a piss on your balloons response. Designated to. shut down any celebratory feelings. Either she’s jealous /doesn’t like to see her friends having things they want or she’s self absorbed and uninterested in your life. What’s she like when you are having a crap time?

my Dsis is amazing when I am struggling and will be so helpful/supportive. However when I am in a good place she can get nasty towards me. It’s almost like there’s a competition and if she feels like she’s better than me she’s happy.

Say something really serious has happened, she would say
big hugs

which sort of feels very lacking in depth

OP posts:

sewsewsewyourboats · 18/04/2025 05:49

It’s a piss on your balloons response. Designated to. shut down any celebratory feelings. Either she’s jealous /doesn’t like to see her friends having things they want or she’s self absorbed and uninterested in your life. What’s she like when you are having a crap time?

my Dsis is amazing when I am struggling and will be so helpful/supportive. However when I am in a good place she can get nasty towards me. It’s almost like there’s a competition and if she feels like she’s better than me she’s happy.

Purpleturtle43 · 18/04/2025 05:46

Rednotdead · 18/04/2025 01:00

What kind of response were you expecting?

Maybe some enthusiasm or positivity or to ask some questions. To me that would be normal, interested behaviour for a friend 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Purpleturtle43 · 18/04/2025 05:45

Yeah that seems a bit disinterested in your life and I would find it quite rude. Lots of people on here seems to have a really low bar for friendship.

GarlicSmile · 18/04/2025 04:04

Rednotdead · 18/04/2025 01:00

What kind of response were you expecting?

I think it was supposed to be:

Ilovecleaning · 18/04/2025 03:53

People are just not as interested in our lives as we think they are. Although your friend’s response was a bit of a dampener and showed a lack of awareness of your excitement.

B1anche · 18/04/2025 03:04

I'd love to hear her side of the story.

Rednotdead · 18/04/2025 01:00

What kind of response were you expecting?

Christmasbear1 · 18/04/2025 00:31

My friends were really weird when I told them I was going to Florida. They kept questioning why I was going in summer peak time.

Lyraloo · 18/04/2025 00:22

WildBluebells · 16/04/2025 18:56

Yes, I guess you know you’ll get a few odd comments if you post in aibu
there will always be some saying your in the wrong no matter what

Show quote history

Why post then! Is it not allowed to disagree with your take on it! You’re clearly saying you don’t think you’re wrong, so why bother asking the rest of us? It’s obvious that many people, 91% think you are wrong, so that’s unequivocally your answer! Enjoy your holiday, and stop meeting up with a ‘friend’ you clearly don’t like very much!

Buffs · 17/04/2025 19:06

Other peoples’ holidays aren’t that interesting. I had a friend who would always get very impatient with me when I couldn’t remember where she’d been/was going on holiday - she was quite hard work.

Practicingmother · 17/04/2025 18:28

Start to avoid. She's jealous and will never be happy for you. Life is too short to be conscious of what you say. A friend is someone who is supportive, kind and always happy for you when you are happy.

Fontofallknowledge23 · 17/04/2025 18:24

100 per cent jealous response. Not a positive response for no other reason than envy. People are just so envious of anyone else doing well.

JHound · 17/04/2025 13:11

No, it’s not weird.

BusyTealNewt · 17/04/2025 13:05

It's to take the wind out of your sails. Someone classed as a friend should be at least interested. Next time they are excited over something, don't show much enthusiasm!

Crushed23 · 16/04/2025 19:55

I think this is one of those things that is probably difficult to describe and imperceptible to anyone apart from the person it was directed at, but I can empathise, OP. Brush it off and enjoy the holiday.

Leavemyteam · 16/04/2025 19:36

TryForSpring · 16/04/2025 19:30

Dear god. Peak Mumsnet 2025.

If you struggle when friends share news that doesn't centre you, @housethatbuiltme, some pp have helpfully suggested appropriate responses.

Show quote history

If you are wondering on the appropriate response, it is “yay”

TryForSpring · 16/04/2025 19:30

housethatbuiltme · 16/04/2025 17:39

Its a very exclusionary 'you' centric thing to bring up in a group discussion. Was probably quite jarring and awkward if it wasn't the topic and no one asked.

What are they specifically meant to say? you asked no furthering questions (although they actually scrambled and tried to but this want good enough) and it doesn't sound like they have sharable personal experience and they are in no way included in it so it was a passing comment at best not a discussion topic.

Your holiday is not really something other non involved people would be expected to 'celebrate'.

Dear god. Peak Mumsnet 2025.

If you struggle when friends share news that doesn't centre you, @housethatbuiltme, some pp have helpfully suggested appropriate responses.

helpfulperson · 16/04/2025 19:14

Its got nothing to do with remembering where she went last year. If her friend had actually been engaged and interested it the conversation she woukd have realised that a) it was somewhere new and b) she was excited about it making a response of ' how fab' much more normal and friend like.

Enko · 16/04/2025 19:09

I'm going against the grain here and saying I get why it upset you. She didn't match your energy when you expressed excitement and basically rained on your parade. Not what we expect our friends to do. I get why that made you feel a bit off. YANBU

DenholmElliot11 · 16/04/2025 19:06

She's jealous of you.

Kinda sad when you think about it. She doesn't WANT you to have the nice holiday. And she's supposed to be your friend.

Original poster

WildBluebells · 16/04/2025 18:56

MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 16/04/2025 17:42

Precisely!

Show quote history

Yes, I guess you know you’ll get a few odd comments if you post in aibu
there will always be some saying your in the wrong no matter what

OP posts:

SendBooksAndTea · 16/04/2025 17:54

Ener · 16/04/2025 17:41

Is she someone who is concerned about the shitshow that is America at the moment? Maybe she was thinking that rather than yay iyswim?

Yes, I could understand this. I'd struggle to show enthusiasm for a trip anywhere in the USA at the moment.