MIL performance coughing/sneezing

@Ponderingwindow and @andtheworldrollson

while that’s true to a degree, bellowing the word ‘Choo’ when you sneeze is optional.

When you feel it coming on, don’t tense up to try and stop it, relax and let it out while not shouting ‘choo’.

The ‘ah’ is a breath in, or series of breaths when you annoyingly can’t quite sneeze, the ‘Choo’ is a sharp expulsion of breath. Neither require the word to be bellowed.

I had to point this out to DH, along with not roaring ‘eurgh!’, while vomiting.

It’s not the force of the sneeze anyone minds. It’s the associated bellowing. Just don’t vocalise.

My thoughts exactly.
You don't want everyone to catch it, do you. 🤷

And the fly kicking drinks off the coffee table? Is this also determined by the throat shape?

What I've said is true, as I've witnessed them all sneezing quietly at church. I've known them for over 40 years.

@Mulledjuiceof course they’ll care!
She’s a noise nuisance with a look at me/pity me complex and it’s very annoying 🥲

This is untrue

throat shape determines sneeze volume and I wish more people knew this because people are laughing and making fun of people who just can’t help it - it’s nasty ( in the mil case she may be milking it or she may just be hurting from the sneeze bug hey kick a woman when she is sore why don’t you )

diddl

How have you not burst out laughing or asked her wtf is that performance all about?

this- it sounds hilarious!!! Has nobody asked her a simple ‘are you ok?’

People are weird

Is it for attention?
my mum came to stay last week and she has an irritating sniff / cough thing that she does.

I think it’s some sort of tic, possibly due to anxiety.

After everything she says she will either then do two quick little sniffs (they sound quite snooty) and seem to convey a “there, I’ve said it!” tone.

Or she will say something and then choke out these little (mouth open) barking coughs. Usually two of them. No hand over mouth. Nothing really coming up, it’s not a plehmy cough. You can hear that it’s not really required. It’s just the sound it generates. It’s like she can’t bear to have the sound of her own voice hanging in the air, so finishes every comments with the two little barky coughs.

its very, very difficult to deal with.

Oh dear, she sounds far too ill to be away from her own home. Maybe she ought to get home so she can take to her bed and rest? 😋

I know a whole family that sneeze very loudly and I'm so glad I don't live with them. It does put you on edge and it's so bloody unecessary.

Not sure what can be done, unless you're just straight with her and tell her it's stressing you out.

I’m a loud sneezer. They are physically painful. as bad as they are for the people around me, they are worse for me. I burst a blood vessel in my eye a couple of weeks back.

i can’t do anything to stop it. I have 2 allergists to cover the scope and severity of my conditions. I’m on all sorts of medications. The insane sneezing is really the least of my worries.

i try to excuse myself from the room when I can, but I don’t always have warning. People who moan about bodily functions like this are just mean.

Great description. My mum had exactly the same dramatic sneeze - and any coughing was always followed by fake retching.

How have you not burst out laughing or asked her wtf is that performance all about?

Think I’d say “right, I’m sorry but the coughing and sneezing is too much. I don’t want to catch your bug, I think you should go home to recuperate and come back another time”.

I’m a loud sneezer, I don’t know why because sneezing is such a quick instant reaction I can’t seem to control it unless I hold my nose. But somebody told me when I was a child that if you hold your nose when you sneeze because of the speed of the sneeze you can cause a bleed In your brain. I don’t know if it’s true, but it stayed with me!

BUT the punching and kicking as she sneezes and coughs is just weird! I’ve never known anybody do that.

My mum does this too. She will start off the visit or phonecall doing a fake croaky voice, and performative coughing, and as time goes on she forgets to keep it up. Then when she remembers it starts again. Its v. funny. Me and my sibs just take the piss.

Why is she staying so long?

Has she always done this?

Can you match her to the doctors and demonstrate exactly what she does in front of them?

I couldn’t stand this, I would have to move out…

She's clearly struggling with an allergic reaction to your pets / children / home and it sounds very inappropriate to let her stay unless things rapidly improve over the next day or so. Perhaps a (drowsy-making) antihistamine would help, or if not, it's time to go home?

😂😂😂😂

If you can't beat them, join them!!

How about some loud farts followed my steam train style whooping?

Or maybe some full volume sneezes woth a stand up jiggly dance after?

Or next time she sneezes just say "I appreciate a sneeze is an eighth of an orgasm, but making it louder surely doesn't make it more effective??"

My late Mum used to have these theatrical episodes when she fancied there was something wrong with her…chest clutching and noisy breathlessness (potential heart trouble)…hand held to forehead (potential fainting fit)…and so on…after a while I found that just remaining oblivious and not commenting eventually put a stop to it.

My mum is a bit like this!

No stamping and knocking drinks over but extremely loud and theatrical with coughs and sneezes, and won't hold back from telling you she couldn't go to work as she has a cough and would wet herself at work. 🤦🙄

To add I know stress incontinence is no joke but there's tena lady, and changes of clothing in a bag, and there's also a strong case of too much information!

The strength of someone’s sneeze is determined by the mouth/ throat shape and isn’t really controllable - but if you are a loud sneezer it’s exhausting to have your whole body shaken up - if it’s bad for you just remember she is in the epicentre

I’m sorry OP but this has absolutely cracked me up

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣