MIL performance coughing/sneezing

ha ha do you ignore it?! Or say bless you?!

I’m afraid I sneezed my baby bouncer over, so that’s not always the case. That said, the shouting performance aspect is definitely a learnt thing!

How come you're not bursting out with laughter when she does this? I wouldn't be able not to, I laughed just reading this. Maybe that would give her a hint about how ridiculous she is? Or tell her that you're very worried about her health and that she would be better in a care home where they are used to geriatric outbursts?

my mum gets hayfever and has other allergies and when she sneezes it’s a ACHOO WOOOOO WOOOO WOOOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I kid you not…..it’s fucking enraging.

My sister is the same and has been forever. Giant sneezes and failing limbs.

If it's a new thing, have a word. If not offer antihistamines and lidded cups.

I feel for you. My mother is a WAHOO sneezer and there’s always 10-15 in a row. My sister and I have been shouting at her for it for years but she insists she can’t help it. She has a small mouth too so I doubt it’s due to physiology

Is it hayfever? Tree pollen is bad at the moment. My hayfever sneezes are uncontrollable and very dramatic. Can you suggest she tries antihistamine? Knocking over 2 drinks seems extreme though. I tend to feel a massive sneeze coming so I can take avoiding actions.

Is she a covert narcissist? Sounds exactly like someone exaggerating medical symptoms for attention or trying to hold other people accountable or make them feel guilty about her having health issues that they obviously aren't responsible for.

Surely the punching, kicking and screaming are within OP's MIL's control, even if the loud sneezes are not? OP's MIL's behaviour sounds performative and attention seeking while your's doesn't.

You are not being unreasonable. She sounds ridiculous. I thought you were just going to say that her sneezes and coughs were too loud, not that she is punching and kicking things and screaming.

Your DH is just scared to say anything. Of course you can tell someone to stop kicking things off the coffee table and screaming loud enough to disturb the neightbours. Is this something new that she has just started doing or has she always been an attention seeking nightmare?

"Mum, I've noticed that you're making a lot of noise and stamping your feet when you're sneezing and coughing. That's not normal and I am worried about you. Is there something we can do to help?"

That's all your DH needs to say after growing a pair.

My sympathies, OP, this would drive me mad. What a fool the woman is. I think I would do as already suggested and tell her firmly that she is too ill to be away from home.

Interestingly my performance sneezing mother stopped doing it when she developed dementia despite insisting for 30 years it was completely unavoidable.

My family are almost all insanely loud sneezers, but we warn people! Especially in the car 😁

I mean, if it is genuine then she might have a medical condition and doesn't realise - like, it might be really painful for her and she doesn't realise it's normal? Grasping at straws. Could you go at it from that angle - 'MIL, have you ever been to the doctors about how violent your coughing and sneezing is?its clearly very uncomfortable for you' Sort of thing. If she's genuine then it might help her. If it's not then she might calm it down a bit. (And means you can go 'I really think you should see a doctor' every time she does it)

@tara66 I've known some ''societies'' where women sort of suppressed sneezes and just make an aside delicate little noise! Not sure how it's done though!

I'm not for a society that does this, but can easily suppress a sneeze to a very quiet sound. No idea when I started doing this, but I just assume its so others don't jump out of their skin by a massive bellow sneeze.

You know that scene in Midsommar where Dani is having a crying/panic attack and all of the other girls copy her?

Do that.

Stamp. Bang the sofa. Spill a drink. Send the cat flying.

Do it EVERY time.

🤣🤣🤣 the visuals of this has really tickled me.

I've known some ''societies'' where women sort of suppressed sneezes and just make an aside delicate little noise! Not sure how it's done though! Does she cover her mouth? If not, she's spreading ''germs''.

and breathe.... @Pyrana

Only 18 more days but I do feel you lovely.

You recognise the irritation, so when it raises, just laugh (in your head)?

Is this performance new OP?
I'd have jumped and screamed the 1st time she did it from being startled myself.
Does she cover her mouth?

My MIL talks with her mouth full of food, so bits fly out all the time. One time she was eating a sausage roll and sneezed. She sprayed pastry bits all over the table, in my hair and onto my plate! 😡

People absolutely throw their voices into it unnecessarily.

I'm sure I've read that people who were deaf from birth sneeze without much noise, it's partly learnt behaviour.

This had me genuinely laughing out loud 😆

Agree with PP. next time she has a loud cough/sneeze I would gently say “That’s such a terrible cough and sneeze, I’m quite concerned you’re not very well and I do think it wouldn’t be best for you to stay any longer. I’m not sure my couch can take any more fist pounding anyway!”