Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Risky behaviour for the larger mumsnetter

34 replies

1BodyProblem · 16/04/2025 13:12

NC. I think society is very inclusive these days and as a larger lady I don't come up against many issues. There are however some sticking points (literally) which I've decided just need to be acknowledged but can't be solved. I recently went to an away game at a championship football ground and quite frankly I couldn't get through the turnstile gate. It was an old metal gate, probably built before the second world war and just couldn't accommodate me. I had to find an alternative entrance but as you can imagine, it was embarrassing and there were some laddy jeers from those queueing. I would quite frankly like to have been bluntly warned before even attempting the gate "not for large fans" or similar instead of risking my circumference squeezing through unnecessarily. It's the same for some theatre seats at old venues. Just tell me before I book this is not for big people. Anyone agree ?

OP posts:
Iammatrix · 16/04/2025 14:04

SchnizelVonKrumm · 16/04/2025 13:52

What do you mean? The poster was surely just pointing out the faux-naive responses that threads like this receive - as though it simply hadn't occurred to people to try to "eat less, move more" and that it's not that simple for many people.

In terms of how to warn people tactfully, if this is a regular problem for fans they could perhaps have a note on the booking system somewhere along the lines of "please note the turnstiles in Gates B and C have a width of Xcm. Wider turnstiles are available at Gates A and D" (ie a neutral note about the space, not making it about the size of the person).

I totally get the context of the post! It hasn’t happened. Which is good, yes there is the potential for it to happen. I know! But just as @Cursory has done, and that there are those that would jump on with the negative comments that the post alludes to, there is also on the first few posts of certain types of thread those that jump on as @Cursory does with such sentiments.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 16/04/2025 13:52

Iammatrix · 16/04/2025 13:44

Was your attempt at irony really an attempt to undercut empathy?

What do you mean? The poster was surely just pointing out the faux-naive responses that threads like this receive - as though it simply hadn't occurred to people to try to "eat less, move more" and that it's not that simple for many people.

In terms of how to warn people tactfully, if this is a regular problem for fans they could perhaps have a note on the booking system somewhere along the lines of "please note the turnstiles in Gates B and C have a width of Xcm. Wider turnstiles are available at Gates A and D" (ie a neutral note about the space, not making it about the size of the person).

Iammatrix · 16/04/2025 13:44

Cursory · 16/04/2025 13:18

Mumsnet is itself risky for larger Mumsnetters, imho.

’OP, why don’t you just eat less and move more?’ / head tilt

Edited

Was your attempt at irony really an attempt to undercut empathy?

Dahliasrule · 16/04/2025 13:34

And what about those tiny toilet cubicles when you have to squeeze yourself behind and to the side to get in.

Vatsallfolks · 16/04/2025 13:33

I was 102 kg so I feel your pain OP!! Only I it bought me up short and I realised I didn’t want to embarrass my kids again getting stuck in the turnstiles/airplane seats / kids + parents rides at theme parks.. so i embraced the WLI (the money I saved on food FAR exceeded the cost ) now they want me to go everywhere..

1BodyProblem · 16/04/2025 13:31

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/04/2025 13:20

I suppose it’s difficult to get the messaging right. There’s not really any definitive measure of “large”, and plenty of large people think that they’re average, so “if you are of a larger build please note that you will need to use the main gate for entry” isn’t going to be a fix.

Two options.

  1. Very NHS approved/ focus group tested,

"High BMI? Try another gate"

  1. To the point :
"Risky for fatties"

(Breaks the taboo through bluntness)

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 16/04/2025 13:20

I suppose it’s difficult to get the messaging right. There’s not really any definitive measure of “large”, and plenty of large people think that they’re average, so “if you are of a larger build please note that you will need to use the main gate for entry” isn’t going to be a fix.

Cursory · 16/04/2025 13:18

Mumsnet is itself risky for larger Mumsnetters, imho.

’OP, why don’t you just eat less and move more?’ / head tilt

DinoLil · 16/04/2025 13:17

I'm of a larger build around the middle and also faced a similar thing at a football match. Sort of luckily, I need to use a stick if I'm going to be standing for a while so had that with me. An official saw me with it and kindly ushered me through a gate before I got to the turnstile!