Meeting future in-laws

Anyhoo
Apologies to Op for the derail but maybe its given you some insight into what you might face if/when you marry a German.
Hope it goes well and they are as lovely as you sound like you deserve.

Yes I can totally understand that. I really can.

the thing that my partner was most outraged by in the punching incident was, as a proud Dutchman, being accused of being German 😂 as I’m sure you know, there’s no love lost between the two nations, especially when it comes to football!

Perhaps stop with the inane patronising comments when you don't understand the issues. Weirdly, we've heard of Fawlty Towers, we were there.

@Hoppinggreen I get it. It's fine for some people to be as vile as they like about the Germans, it doesn't count.

@Letswame 🥰. I have been married to a German for thirty odd years and speak pretty fluent German. Happy to help. I'll be back to the thread later. 😊

100%

No, just thick.

Not my style

Awful, I am sorry that happened but it doesn't surprise me.
I may be fighting a losing battle (hope that wasn't a war reference 😁) but I will continue to do so, especially for my DC

I have had my partner punched in the face for being a nazi - they thought he sounded German, he wasn’t.

But laughing about the war is just ingrained in people so you’re fighting a losing battle I think.

My ex in-laws were Polish and the best thing I ever did in my relationship was to learn basic conversational Polish - it shows respect and commitment (in my humble opinion), they really appreciated it and we were able to have a laugh and proper connection. Not saying you need to suddenly learn German but you absolutely should learn some very basic phrases

If you are staying in the same house make sure you dress for breakfast, rather than go down in PJs. …assuming your in laws are like my German grandparents…

read some bbc news articles about Germany beforehand so you can make small talk? E.g. the trains are all late at the moment due to chronic underinvestment

google where they live and think of some day trips or ask about those places?

ask to see as many photos as possible too! How exciting!

Definitely second shortbread, especially if it’s in a nice tin.

The don’t mention the war stuff is just tiresome. It was 80 years ago and Fawlty Towers was, what, 50 years ago? Get over it.

Perhaps hide this thread.

So they must have decided its ok to remain, which pisses me off more than the remark, which I have agreed was a clumsy attempy at humour rather than anything else.
I know what it refers to, I still don't find it funny - but I suppose someone who hasn't had their kids called Nazis might.

My MIL loved shortbread.

Cheese is a good idea. Honey might go down well also

You’ve reported the post. That’s the best way to get something removed if you want to. In my experience MNHQ are really quick and responsive.

It’s a Fawlty Towers reference.

My MIL was German and would be slightly older than the in-laws, she was hot on manners and liked to be called Mrs … and then after a few months she said I could use her first name.

I am sure it was clumsy not malicious but despite me reporting it and asking MNHQ to remove it it still stands.

Oh don't get me wrong - I completely agree with what you're saying. I'm so sorry that your husband and children have been treated so badly - it's not on at all. I have a German relative (by marriage) and he too was targeted when he lived in the UK for a couple of years. I also have Jewish family on my mum's side, whose family were almost all killed in concentration camps. We certainly don't discuss the wars lightly (or much at all) and I certainly wouldn't raise the subject with my German relative or his family, nor my other side.

I was merely pointing out that I thought that was likely the reference and not intended in a malicious way. Just a clumsy comment.

Well as I said its not funny when all too often people DO indeed mention the war, 80 bloody years after it ended!

I'm guessing the 'don't mention the war' comment was a tongue in cheek comment in reference to a Fawlty Towers episode, in all honesty.

Best of luck with the meet up OP! I'd also opt for some nice MnS goodies, perhaps in a small wicker basket and tissue paper?

@MNHQ
Why is this allowed?
If a similar post had been made with an awful stereotype based on a non white group would it still be here?

WW 2 ended almost 80 years ago and some people still think its funny to reference it whenever the word German is mentioned
How funny is it when your H gets beaten up by football fans for his name and your DC get references to Hitler and The Holocaust at school?
Fucking awful but because the majority of Germans are white its somehow ok.
Its not

M&S is a good shout

Agree with learning a few German phrases and the suggestions about typically UK foodstuffs, you could gift wrap them individually then put them in a Waitrose or M&S canvas shopping bag. Have a lovely first meeting!