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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

382 replies

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:49

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?
OP posts:
Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 16:47

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 16:25

Fringeism is a thing.

This I’m afraid OP.
you should be ashamed 🤭

mathanxiety · 16/04/2025 16:46

You are getting carried away by the wedding hoopla.
A wedding isn't a piece of theatre with props, costumes, and chorus.

At least you had some inkling you were being unreasonable, or you wouldn't have asked. So you at least have that going for you.

HellsBells67 · 16/04/2025 16:42

Hopefully in a short while you will look back in horror at how bridezilla you were.

Pipsquiggle · 16/04/2025 16:41

Let her have her fringe how she wants - there will be a reason why she has a thick fringe.

Also a thick fringe pulled back will look awful.

I think it's fine to ask for hair to be 'up' though

ThursdayWaitingForChocolate · 16/04/2025 16:37

YABU. I wear a fringe as I have a long face and a huge forehead and won't be seen dead without it. Why would you make someone who is presumably a friend so uncomfortable?

Superhansrantowindsor · 16/04/2025 16:34

I have a fringe to hide a scar I am self conscious of. Please don’t ask her to clip back her fringe

FloppySarnie · 16/04/2025 16:33

Totally unreasonable. Just let them have their hair how they want. They aren’t in the army.

TrainGame · 16/04/2025 16:31

Isn't the day about your love between your DH and yourself?

Your bridesmaids are there to celebrate that. Why would you want to control their hair?

That's weird, strange and controlling! And not a very friendly thing to do.

TheBishopIsKillingMe · 16/04/2025 16:30

YABVU

Wanderergirl · 16/04/2025 16:27

Free the fringe!!!!

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 16:25

Fringeism is a thing.

Lotsofsnacks · 16/04/2025 16:22

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:49

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Course it’s rude. Also I’ve had a similar style for a wedding and had a fringe, it’s fine, it looked like that at the back. She can have this style with a fringe. They will all look the same from the back. They don’t all have to look like total clones. One fringe isnt going to spoil your aesthetic

StupidBoy · 16/04/2025 16:19

Don't try to make them all look identical. They are not 7 years old.

jennygeddes · 16/04/2025 16:13

I have a fringe as I have a horribly low hairline. I would be really pissed off if you asked me to clip it back and would refuse.

Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 16:13

I really want the thick fringed lady to do a post complaining about what a twat the OP is being

thisisfrommathilda · 16/04/2025 16:03

Just so over the top and silly.

MyDeftDuck · 16/04/2025 15:56

Have you considered actually talking to your bridesmaids and asking what they like and what they think would suit them all? Why have they all got to look like a clone of your ideal BM?
Assuming they are family/friends surely the best way to keep them close us to treat them with respect.........don't be that bridezilla who alienates everyone.

LittleBigHead · 16/04/2025 15:56

Yes it would be rude. Presumably you chose each bridesmaid for her unique character and place in your life? Why then would you dampen down their individuality?

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 15:48

I feel very angry on the fringe’s behalf.

Popfan · 16/04/2025 15:46

There's absolutely no way I'd pin back my fringe!

Pricelessadvice · 16/04/2025 15:43

Some people feel very self conscious if they are made to change from a fringe that they are used to. Can she not just embrace the fringe? Ask the hairdresser to have some long bits framing her face but leave the fringe alone? Something along those lines.

ruethewhirl · 16/04/2025 15:43

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 15:38

As a fringe lover I’d be really upset if I was asked to pin back my fringe plus pinning it would be really unflattering.
I am my fringe, you can’t have one without the other.

Same here. I hate the way I look without a fringe, and if I was made to pin it back I wouldn't feel like me. I would absolutely refuse to do it.

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 15:41

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

Show quote history

Hair up/hair back ideas that suit me with a fringe are half up, any type of bun, French pleat, Heidi plaits, side pony tail, high pony tail, low pony tail.

AprilBunny · 16/04/2025 15:38

As a fringe lover I’d be really upset if I was asked to pin back my fringe plus pinning it would be really unflattering.
I am my fringe, you can’t have one without the other.

CiaoMeow · 16/04/2025 15:35

I think it would be fine to ask them to do this. But I would make it clear it's a request and if they weren't happy with it, that's fine.