Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

I pinned my fringe back as a bridesmaid to have matching hair. I hate the photos as I look completely different (but the makeup was different too and not me at all!). The hairstyle can surely accommodate a fringe?

I don’t think you can dictate what they have, you have maybe suggest a certain style but honestly it doesn’t matter, no one cares.

My Bridesmaids all chose their own styles, the only thing I said is I didn’t want it exactly like mine. All of their hair looked lovely.

similar when I’ve been bridesmaid, they all just left me to it. Only once did my ex SIL demand we all had a certain style and it looked shit.

I would refuse to pin my fringe back tbh . I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all

I think you'd be unreasonable to ask her to pin it back. I've had a fringe of some sort all my life for a reason and don't feel comfortable without it. I can't ever imagine asking a bridesmaid (presumably close friend or relative) to do something to change themselves for a photo opportunity. I honestly couldn't tell you if my bridesmaid had her hair up or down or what she looked like. It really doesn't matter.

I was once asked to be a bridesmaid and not only did the bride want to dictate hair do, but also make up with shades of eye shadow and lipstick that just did not suit. It was like she was creating props for the photos, not inviting close friends to celebrate with her.

You can suggest you would prefer an up do, give some examples and discuss and offer to pay for the hairdresser. Otherwise let them do their own thing.

‘Lovely wedding, but did you see that bridesmaid who had a fringe?’

It’s all anyone will talk about in years to come.

Having different dresses for individuality sounds lovely. I’m certain that the hairstyle that would most suit a thick fringe would be the one that the bridesmaid chooses herself and feels most comfortable with - surely she will look her best if she can choose her own hairstyle?

This is your only option OP!

I can’t see what the other bridesmaids can’t wear a clip on fringe?

She’s not back because she’s taken my suggestion and is busy sourcing identical wigs for them all.

So apart from coming back to say she can't imagine any hairstyle going with a fringe, the OP has disappeared because she didn't get the answers she wanted.😂

Actually OP, looking at that pic again, I'm unsure why you don't think it'll work with a fringe anyway? I think it'd look fine. Haven't RTFT so may have missed something.

Oh really don’t do this. I bought a nice clip for my bridesmaids to have in their hair. Think subtle vintage look diamanté slide but that was all what they agreed on but then I said any hairstyle was fine. A friend asked me and other bridesmaids to all have quite a severe French pleat which I hated (but didn’t let her know). Really didn’t feel like myself all day and night. At most ask for them to have hair up but for them to agree a similar look between them xx

Personally I think it is nicer to let bridesmaids choose hairstyle they like and know will work for them. This is what I did when I got married and what has happened most of the times I was a bridesmaid too. One time when I was a bridesmaid the bride did want both of us to have the same hairstyle and we were fine with it, so that was also OK. To be fair it looked nice and suited us both. So I would say it is perfectly reasonable to ask them (very nicely) if they would mind having the same style. If they would prefer not to have that style go with what they are comfortable with, you want them to be happy on the day. You could also ask the hairdresser if they think it would work with a fringe.

Shame there wasn't a poll.

I think this is fairly unanimous

If you're not sure what hairstyle suits a thick fringe maybe try asking the thick fringe-haver? Just a thought. But personally I don't see any reason why a fringe couldn't work with the style you've chosen, for all you know the model in the picture may have a fringe! Unless all your bridesmaids have the exact same hair type and texture they're never going to look completely uniform anyway. That style will look a bit different on someone with poker straight, fine hair to how it looks on someone with thick naturally wavy hair, for example. So if one of them has a fringe it's really not a big deal. Pinning back a thick fringe will just look odd and draw more attention to it.

Also a bit confused as to why it's so important for their hair to look identical if the style and patterns of dresses are completely different??

You’ve asked them to be your bridesmaids and have decided what they should wear which is fine. How they do their hair is their own business IMO and they should style their hair how they want.

I wouldn’t physically be able to do that style with my hair so yes, YABU.

So you ask the person doing the hair and the owner of said hair what they think will work. You can have a preference for a look but you can't actually make anyone do anything.

No, not really. It’s irrelevant - you’re marrying tha man you love. The rest is trivia.

I wish I had enough time and space in my life to fret about someone else’s fringe.

They're having different dresses, some floral and some plain but you think they should all have the same hairstyle? Speak to your hairdresser (assuming you are paying to have everyone's hair done) and get some more pictures of styles you would like. Speak to your bridesmaids and show them the pictures. You're aiming for a vibe not a regimented look. Pinning back a fringe will look silly, a hairband might work, but you shouldn't make your bridesmaids uncomfortable.

It's possible the bridesmaids all gave off 'underwhelmed' or even 'downright mutinous' vibes when the OP made her suggestion, and hence the question asked here...

YANBU asking for long hair to be tied back or up, but I think you're going a bit overboard worrying about a fringe. Unless it's in her eyes and she keeps tossing her head like a horse! Then perhaps you could gently suggest it . But she may say no. As a PP mentioned, it could be hiding a scar. So as long as you accept her answer, fair enough, I think.

I was worried reading this thread that it would be a much more drastic demand such as demanding someone with a long mane of tresses to cut them into a chin length bob or something.