Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

They're not a chorus line.

I know it's fine to disagree!

My bridesmaids chose their own dresses - I paid.

They chose their own hairstyles and make up - I paid.

Did you read my post i said she's NOT suggesting that.

With regards to this hairstyle she isn't "telling" people, she isn't "imposing" she's "asking". Asking means they could say no.

You say brides don't impose anything but did your bridesmaids also pick their own dresses or/and shoes and colours or did you "impose" a colour scheme and dress style?

In my experience when I've been a bridesmaid the dress has been picked for me, in a colour the bride chose with a shoe style she picked. This didn't feel gross or too much concern with the photos and if she'd said would you all mind a low tie back hair style/and up do/a braid and she was paying i wouldn't feel it was imposed on me and I'd feel comfy saying no if that's how I felt.

So I think its fine.

And if you disagree i also think that's fine

Who said anything about kicking anyone out? You made that up, it's not been part of any of this conversation to date.

Yes she is BU to tell other people what to do with their hair, paying or not. "Most brides" do not behave like that, I didn't and plenty of other people on this thread didn't either. "Most" of us want our friends to feel comfortable and happy and wouldn't dream of imposing anything on them for the sake of our photos. Gross.

It's not buying people. Or forcing them A lot of brides pay for their bridesmaids hair and I think if the brides paying and she's not wanting to do something permanent it's reasonable to ask would everyone mind having the same style if thats what she wants. The Qn was is she BU to ask them to have the same, not would she BU to kick them out the wedding party if they don't agree.

I don't think its much different to buying the bridesmaid dresses and picking the colour and style. Most brides do that too and that isn't treating them like barbies.

Your wedding their hair. I think telling someone what to do with their own hair is overstepping it a bit. My daughter was a bridesmaid and when they had a trial run with the hairdresser she wanted her to have her waist length hair cut because it was too long and thick for the up do the bride wanted. Absolutely no way.

That will look fine. Don’t mention her fringe. I have always had one and look ridiculous without. It’s her choice. Enjoy your wedding.

You can't buy people. I paid for my bridesmaids to get their makeup and hair done but I didn't ever tell them what to 'get'. I wanted them to feel fabulous on the day, so of course they could choose how they wanted to look. Bridesmaids aren't your Barbie dolls.

AHAHAHAHA
Poor bloke that gets married to this level of unhinged!

I really wouldn’t. They will want to look and feel good themselves and what flatters one won’t flatter the other. A girlfriend of mine hates her deep forehead so has a fringe.. she wouldn’t be too happy if I asked her to pin it back!

If you're paying and not asking anyone to cut or dye it I don't see the issue

No you cannot tell them how to do their hair! It's so very personal and I assume you are already telling them which clothes to wear.
Tread carefully

Controlling and ridiculous. If I were one of your bridesmaids I would probably find you a total PITA and pull out.

I don’t think you should dictate how anyone has their hair. Sorry but maybe concentrate more on yourself because their hair is just not important.

Rude and ridiculous

I'd let her have her fringe.

I talked to my bridesmaids about what would work for them whilst also keeping them looking part of a group. I wanted them to look nice and feel lovely whilst also looking part of the same bridal party. The result was three half ponies, each styled slightly differently to suit the faces / preferences on my longer haired bms and one wispy bob styled into curls. The pony tails had pearl clasps on to match my veil comb (I have a thick, long loose bob) and the wispy curls went round a pearl hair band we'd carefully matched. Everyone looked pretty, happy, coordinated and like themselves.

Then again, mine were in different dresses (same colour, fabric, waistline but different necklines etc from David's Bridal) and had different accessories because I didn't want them to matchy match.

No ,

I think you have every right to ask them to put their hair up if that’s how you want it. It is your wedding and I’m sure they will understand.

After all the day is not about them.

I’ve had a fringe since my hair first grew (about 42 years ago) I wouldn’t pin back my fringe for anyone. A side sweep is as far as I’d go, and only if I really liked the bride

When I was 19 I was bridesmaid to a
colleague, she was Australian, it was a hurried wedding, and she had no one to be a bridesmaid, as all her relatives and friends were in Australia She made me have my hair done to her specifications, it was horrible, and I spent the afternoon feeling ugly and uncomfortable, luckily she was rather short of money, so I supplied my own dress, which I made myself, and when we had posed for photos I went to the cloakroom and brushed out the laquered bouffant, resulting in a sort of auburn afro, which in my 1969 hippy phase, I was very satisfied with, and it went well with the green velvet maxi dress with long flowing sleeves.
Try to control people's hairstyles if you want, but I wouldn't comply now, as I did when I was younger, my body including hair is my own and I style it how I want.

Seems pretty controlling to me honestly, my bridesmaids had hair and makeup however they wanted though I bought them matching dresses (at least the same colour and material, I think they ended up picking the same style in the end but I’d have been happy with just matching colour and material but different styles) which we all went out and chose together.

However if it’s really important to you, I personally think it would be ok to ask if she would be ok with it. It might be no big deal to her for the day. But respect it if she says no.

I see dance girls do it l the time, pin it in gel it back. Easy and quick, a wouldn't have nay problems doing it.

I'd just speak to her and explain you want a smart, uniform, matching look, would she mind?

Chance are shed say no.

If it is a problem, she will at least explain so you understand (hide a spotty forehead?)

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It's your bug day! But just word it nicely x

If someone started telling me how to wear my hair, I’d turn up at the wedding with an Afro perm. Bloody cheek!

No I don’t think that’s an ok thing to do.

I think all looking exactly the same is boring .. mix it up a bit let them be who they are as individuals.
That's over the top .