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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

382 replies

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:49

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?
OP posts:
DottieMoon · 16/04/2025 12:25

Wow.. yes very rude and absolutely ridiculous.

Bridezilla behaviour. Give your head a wobble!

BacktoBeginnersFran · 16/04/2025 12:25

You can ask them for their preference. You can't ask them to cut / colour their hair, or put in extensions. If she's used to a fringe then you can't ask her to pin it back - it could make her uncomfortable for day. If she occasionally pins it back herself, ask what she thinks.
However..... Your statement that you can't see any hair style suiting a fringe tells me you don't like it! It's not your hair, it's just choice!!
Are you one of those brides who would insist a BM change her hair colour to match your colour scheme?

Pigsears · 16/04/2025 12:25

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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How about leave it up to the adult sporting the thick fringe as to how best to wear their hair?

How she wears her hair isnt going to make, or ruin, your day or photos.

SoInLuv · 16/04/2025 12:24

frontwoman001 · 16/04/2025 11:54

Okay, hair issued sorted now, I think? That style would look perfectly fine with a fringe.

Next order of business - uncle Benjamin has a big, thick mustache and we're serving soup. Would it be unreasonable of me to ask him to shave off his mustache for the day?

Hahahaha 😆

nachoaverageusername · 16/04/2025 12:23

I just can't understand why this matters? My bridesmaids all had their hair how they wanted, because, well, it just doesn't matter.

JudgeJ · 16/04/2025 12:22

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/04/2025 11:52

Really? I think you're somewhat obsessed by minutiae of this one day.

I'm amazed that anyone actually wants to be a bridesmaid after reading many of the posts on here, it seems to be a role that causes no end of arguments and disagreements!

Cynic17 · 16/04/2025 12:21

Sorry, OP, but what's wrong with them looking like themselves, rather than clones of each other?
You do know, don't you, that none of the guests will be saying "oh, the bridesmaids all have matching hair - isn't that marvellous?".

evtheria · 16/04/2025 12:20

Think hairstyles is a bit much. People have different face shapes, they’ll likely want a style they feel comfortable with and feel good in.

Hwi · 16/04/2025 12:20

Body autonomy? Applies to the appearance as well, you know. What an odd question to ask. Clothes - it is a different matter, you can dress your bridesmaids like dollies, no problem (provided you are paying for it).

ItGhoul · 16/04/2025 12:19

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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That style will work fine with a fringe.

aintnospringchicken · 16/04/2025 12:19

Yes it would be very rude. If you value the friendship of the bridesmaid in question ,don’t even ask.

AbsoluteBooSheet · 16/04/2025 12:19

I have a thick fringe and had a hairstyle very similar to this for my own wedding and it looked lovely!

Also, I like to think I’m quite an easy going person but if some asked me to clip back my fringe for a hair style I’d say no as it would look ridiculous.

Redcrayons · 16/04/2025 12:19

Yes, you’re being ridiculous and are now in bridezilla territory. Chill out, nobody will notice this.

How do you plan to tell your fringe friend that her hair would look better in a different style?

animalculous · 16/04/2025 12:18

I think you are being fringeist.

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/04/2025 12:17

Now that you have your answer @walliceandme you might be wise to acknowledge it, otherwise we'll all assume you're doing the old "AIBU-Yes you are-no I'm not" routine.

For the record, add me to the ever growing YABU group.

Doggymummar · 16/04/2025 12:17

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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Presumably the hairstyle she has chosen to have everyday!

zigazigahhhh · 16/04/2025 12:17

I’d prefer this! I’m a bridesmaid in a few months and I find it stressful that the bride is saying “it’s up to you what you do with your hair” - I’d rather she chose

LlynTegid · 16/04/2025 12:17

Unreasonable, though you can ask and be prepared for a no.

SingingSonnets · 16/04/2025 12:16

Is this real? Just in case it is, then no, it’s a bit much to expect. They’ll want to look good and will know what hair styles suit them best.

Onoriafox · 16/04/2025 12:15

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/04/2025 11:50

It would be rude to ask her to pin back her fringe.

This!

dottydodah · 16/04/2025 12:15

Surely if they are all wearing pale blue or whatever they will match anyway? I think it's a step too far TBH. Just enjoy your day.You will be centre stage for the day!

MissDoubleU · 16/04/2025 12:14

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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You don’t know what hairstyle would suit her “very thick fringe” ?? You can’t think of one

Just say you don’t like her fringe. Say it with your whole chest. Some women like having a fringe, some even like how their very thick fringe looks. You don’t have to like how her fringe looks, she does. Thats all that matters.

Zooey Deschanel had a thick fringe for years and many an updo. But realistically, you don’t have to like it. If you want their hair (but not dresses?? For some reason??) to be uniform, get the style. But every woman will look slightly different or have a different variation based on their colour, hair type, style/cut and yes. If they have bangs/fringe.

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?
QuillBill · 16/04/2025 12:13

It is definitely not OK. Unequivocally and without doubt it’s not OK.

Els1e · 16/04/2025 12:13

YABU and odd

mochimoons · 16/04/2025 12:11

Asking someone to clip back their fringe is hilarious and obviously not ok 😂.

Why wouldn't that hairstyle suit someone with a fringe? I think it's fine to get all their hair styled like that - it's a very simple style and would generally suit everyone with longer hair so I can't see why they'd have a problem with it.