Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

Not the same but I had a cousin who I was a bridesmaid for ask me to dye my hair for her wedding to match the other bridesmaids (my hair had been dyed a dark cherry red colour for years at that point), she said it was that or not be a bridesmaid, so I chose not to be a bridesmaid 🙃 you can ask, but I’d not insist on it if she doesn’t want to.

The thick fringe will be part of the hairstyle whether it is pinned back or not. Sounds as if it's not a suitable style for this woman's hair in which case why not ask the hairdresser to choose another one which is complimentary but not identical?

Whatever hairstyle the girl wants! Honestly you sound unhinged. Controlling to this extent would see me choosing to be a guest over one of your bridesmaids..

Absolutely not!!
Don't be 'that' bride..

I felt quite relieved as a bridesmaid when the bride said she'd like everyone to have a basic up do and got someone to do it for us.

I'm not great with hair and it meant I didn't have to worry about it.

You can frame it as 'if you are happy, I think this would look good, but you don't have to have anything you are not comfortable with and much more important to have you there' etc.

It’s very odd to want them all to have identical hair, and rude as hell to ask for her fringe to be pinned back. If they all want to wear their hair up, show this pic as inspiration, and allow the stylist to come up with some nice styles. But hair down with a decent blowout should also be an option.

As a ballet mum I think that pinning a fringe back will look silly. Dancers usually have to slick it back completely using a lot of gel.

Are you paying for the hair stylist?

I think its fine to have a concept of style (but discuss it, its their body so their final say) if you are paying but you cannot ask them to dye or cut their hair etc...

If you are not paying you get whatever hair they choose to do.

Agree? I think most reasonable people would agree to it for 1 day unless there was a specific reason for having the fringe

It's OK as long as you support them to do it/ hire a stylist - don't just leave them to put up their own hair in your chosen style, as that can be stressful.

I think the clipped back fringe is taking it a bit far though.

Clipping a fringe back doesn’t get rid of it.

Personally I think it’s so over the top to dictate a bridesmaids hair. Don’t you want them to feel comfortable?

I think it's totally fine to choose how their hair is styled on the day if you're paying for it.

Where it goes too far is if you tell her to grow/cut/colour her hair.

Bridesmaids that all match each other absolutely completely, even their hair, look weird.
Asking them to change a fundamental part of their appearance doesn't make your photos look better, it just upsets your friends.

I don’t think it’s rude to ask. But accept that some people may ask for modifications. For example, I have dumbo ears and when I was asked to have my hair done a certain way as a bm I did ask the bride if I could modify it a bit so my ears were covered (comfort blanket for me). She of course said yes. Made me much more comfortable on the day.

I don’t think it’s rude to ask if you are paying, It may or may not work with a fringe / your friend may not want to fix her friend back, ask her if she would consider it

If a fringe is really part of her look she may not like it but I think I would do it for a day,

Extremely rude and OTT

OP be honest do you have something against thick fringes because right now you sound really anti big fringes I’m afraid

The niece of a friend of mine told her 65 year old dad to dye his hair for the wedding. He told her to where she could stick that idea. Some people go bananas over their wedding.

@walliceandme There are loads of up-dos, including ones similar to what you've posted, on this page. All with fringes, including thick/blunt fringes.

FWIW, I have a fringe and if you told me I had to pin it back somehow to meet with your approval as a bridesmaid, you would get a very decisive 'No'. I have a fringe because I like the way I look with a fringe. It's a big part of my personal style. If I was a bridesmaid and was told it wasn't acceptable for me to look like myself, I'd wonder why the hell you'd picked me in the first place.

www.martinthornburg.com/blog/wedding-hairstyles-40-beautiful-brides-with-bangs

I have a solution!
Shaven heads all round! No fringes, nothing to hide the back of the dress.

no no don't thank me.

YABU

OMG what have I just read? What if the one with a fringe is hiding an insecurity? If you told me how to wear my hair it would start with f and end with off. Be thankful they are doing YOU a favour and being your bridesmaids.

I think if someone asked me to do this I would consider turning up on the wedding morning sporting a Mohican!

You really can’t do it OP, just step away from the wedding folder and remember the important part of the wedding is saying your vows and committing to the person you love in front of your friends and family and people who love you.

Don’t set up resentments that could sour the day, carry on for years and wreck friendships.

I feel like nowadays people tend to treat weddings as a very expensive photo shoot and it does make me sad. Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice of course, but I hope that when my time comes I'm more focussed on everyone having a good time than us all looking like we've stepped out of a glossy magazine.

I honestly do not understand these weird pointless details that brides genuinely care about. Do you know nobody will notice or care how the thick fringed lady’s hair will look?!?! You sound like a bridezilla!