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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

382 replies

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:49

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?
OP posts:
Haemagoblin · 16/04/2025 12:53

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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Probably the person with the thick fringe will have a good idea what suits them.

Swiftie1878 · 16/04/2025 12:52

Very rude.
You’re in danger of becoming a bridezilla. Please check yourself before it’s too late.

Ariel896 · 16/04/2025 12:51

Oh my god the word fringe is starting to lose all meaning! This is ridiculous

Amblesidebadger · 16/04/2025 12:50

It'll look great with or without a fringe.

randomusernam · 16/04/2025 12:50

I promise you how they have their hair doesn’t matter. Don’t get caught up in stuff like this and no a pinned back short fringe would look so stupid. Say I’d like you all to have a low bun and let her keep the bloody fringe.

Chunkilumptious · 16/04/2025 12:50

Having seen update, if you're having mismatched dressed and tously hair, honestly, what different will a fringe make? There's individuality in the styling so why are you drawing a line at one bridesmaid's fringe? I think you need to remove the goalposts quite far away.

sweetpickle2 · 16/04/2025 12:50

I don't understand how a fringe wouldn't work with that hairstyle? You haven't even posted a picture of the front- the model in the pic could have a fringe for all you know.

MrsMitford3 · 16/04/2025 12:49

I can't believe you even asked her to be a bridesmaid with that fringe!!!

Everleigh13 · 16/04/2025 12:49

I think it would be rude to tell somebody to pin their fringe back. It is too controlling.

MrsBeesBakedBeans · 16/04/2025 12:49

Let them have how they want it!

JustMyView13 · 16/04/2025 12:49

If you’re paying for their hair and make up, you can dictate the style it’s in.

But, your friend with the fringe has one because that’s how they feel most comfortable with their hair. Do they pin it back usually? I would say your pictures will be the most beautiful if all of your bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident with their outfit, hair and make up.

Do you want your bridesmaids to feel comfortable and enjoy your day? Or would you prefer they look specifically how you want them to.

Budgetquery · 16/04/2025 12:47

They are not lemmings…they are actual people…YABU!

goldenretrieverenergy · 16/04/2025 12:47

I think it’s weird and I’d never ask that of my friends, but I am assuming you are paying for it, so you could ask if they would be okay with having a similar up do.

If you are not paying for it, then you are massively unreasonable.

chakrakkhan · 16/04/2025 12:46

What a weird thing to request.

Isthisreasonable · 16/04/2025 12:46

It's not a catwalk, they are your friends supporting you on a big day. It's time to take a break from micro managing the event and just enjoy thinking about the future after the wedding for a while. Getting this involved in things the wedding industry wants to generate income from is only increasing the chances of you being disappointed in some aspect of the day.

Chunkilumptious · 16/04/2025 12:45

I don't think it's fine to say exactly how you want the hair to sit at the front. That's very personal and depends on face shape. Plus a bit of variation will look better than identical.

That said, there's room for the stylist asking 'how would you like your fringe styled?' and seeing if she'd be open to sweeping it aside a bit or anything. I think clipped up sounds harsh though.

Hadjab · 16/04/2025 12:44

walliceandme · 16/04/2025 11:59

No they are all having different dresses, some floral, some plain pastel. So there will be individuality. Just not sure what hairstyle would suit a very thick fringe

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So why not let them carry that individuality into their hair?

peppermintcrumble · 16/04/2025 12:44

Bridezilla alert.

Namerequired · 16/04/2025 12:43

Have a trial with a hairdresser and decide then. If you are dictating their hair you would need to be paying for it.

Whynotaxthisyear · 16/04/2025 12:42

I was bemused as a bridesmaid when the bride's mother told me weeks before the wedding not to have my hair cut again before the big day, so that my hair would be a similar length to the other bridesmaid's. It would also have been looking quite scraggy by then without a trim. I smiled nicely and had it trimmed anyway.
I think the key is to ask the bridesmaids their opinion and what they would like at the same time as suggesting things that you'd like; hopefully unless it is something they'd hate, they will go along with it.

QuickPeachPoet · 16/04/2025 12:42

Why can’t they have their hair the way THEY feel comfortable with. Lots of girls hate their hair up.

rainbowstardrops · 16/04/2025 12:42

Lol

Longleggedlinda · 16/04/2025 12:41

Never understood wear the same dress thing let alone the same hair

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 16/04/2025 12:39

If you’re paying for a hairdresser, let them decide

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 12:38

Ener · 16/04/2025 12:30

Extremely rude and OTT

No it’s not rude to ask, It would be rude to demand, which is not what she is doing

Lots of brides want a cohesive look on the day of their wedding eg similar / same bridesmaids dresses, same bouquets, etc etc etc

If the bride is paying for the hairdresser she has a right to ask this, some may have issues for certain reasons but she can ask