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AIBU?

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Affair

36 replies

trustedfriend · 16/04/2025 11:35

I know someone whose husband is having an affair. The cheating husband is the principal of a catholic college & retiring this year. Should I expose his affair as several people are now aware of it or just ignore? I would have to do this anonymously if I did as I don’t want to be caught in the crossfire. If it was me I would want to know.

OP posts:
Gustavo77 · 16/04/2025 13:41

It's not you though, so keep out of it or if you have to out him at least have the courage of your convictions and put your name to it. It's only fair that you own it if you're going to cause a hoo ha over something that is none of your business

trustedfriend · 16/04/2025 13:40

Randomer27 · 16/04/2025 13:33

You are being malicious though. I don’t know what consequences he may face with work. But getting sacked shortly before retirement will be catastrophic financially.

Beak out on this one.

There is always one person to be hostile! The whole point of my post was because it is a dilemma & the affair may be exposed regardless of me as I’m not the only one who knows about it. It was merely to see if it was fair to give the wife the heads up. He should have thought about the consequences before starting an affair in his position & time of life.

OP posts:
nonmerci99 · 16/04/2025 13:38

I don’t think any good will come of you anonymously outing this person, since it may seem like unfounded gossip.

Randomer27 · 16/04/2025 13:33

You are being malicious though. I don’t know what consequences he may face with work. But getting sacked shortly before retirement will be catastrophic financially.

Beak out on this one.

trustedfriend · 16/04/2025 13:30

OliveWah · 16/04/2025 12:21

I agree. A quick google of the details provided throws up only one possibility; initials A.H. from DS. @trustedfriend if these initials and the school name are familiar, I'd say you've already outed the Head to the entire internet, let alone his wife, and should probably ask for this thread to be deleted!

No, those initials are not linked to this person at all & a google search didn’t give anything relevant away when I looked. It’s highly unlikely they would even be reading this thread so the chances of anyone making a link are very very small. I Really am not being malicious & most likely will not do anything with the information as I would be the villain & not him. So maybe I just ignore it & turn a blind eye. It would break a lot of friendships if it was to be discovered.

OP posts:
trustedfriend · 16/04/2025 12:51

Fgdvevfvdvfbdv · 16/04/2025 11:41

I wouldn’t, especially as you want to do it anonymously. I think that would be quite cruel for the wife to find out that way. She’s the one that will be hurt, not the cheat.

Also you need to know with 100% certainty, rather than going on gossip or stirring. And the only 100% proof would be if you caught them in bed together, which is unlikely.

The ‘mistress’ has told me all the details/facts so I am 100% certain. To be a principal of a catholic college you have to have some high morals & live with your actions which have consequences. He could tell her himself & be honest but I doubt that will happen. I feel sorry for her not knowing after they have been together for so long.

OP posts:
OliveWah · 16/04/2025 12:21

zippococo · 16/04/2025 11:59

I’d say you’re exposed it already. This post is very outing cos of the detail, wonder how many principles of a catholic college are retiring this year?

I agree. A quick google of the details provided throws up only one possibility; initials A.H. from DS. @trustedfriend if these initials and the school name are familiar, I'd say you've already outed the Head to the entire internet, let alone his wife, and should probably ask for this thread to be deleted!

zippococo · 16/04/2025 11:59

I’d say you’re exposed it already. This post is very outing cos of the detail, wonder how many principles of a catholic college are retiring this year?

BarneyRonson · 16/04/2025 11:49

It’s a good idea to expose wrong doing. The less it is silently ignored, the less it will happen.

Fgdvevfvdvfbdv · 16/04/2025 11:41

I wouldn’t, especially as you want to do it anonymously. I think that would be quite cruel for the wife to find out that way. She’s the one that will be hurt, not the cheat.

Also you need to know with 100% certainty, rather than going on gossip or stirring. And the only 100% proof would be if you caught them in bed together, which is unlikely.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 16/04/2025 11:37

The problem with doing it anonomously is that it can look fake, and is also pretty shitty for the wife, she will be looking at everyone in her life wondering who knows.

What proof do you have to show her?

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