To think people who say “money doesn’t buy happiness” have never had real money?

I think money gives you choices, and that makes us happier.

Poverty brings its own level of misery.

Anyone that believes that statement has never been poor.

The only people who say it doesn't are people who have never had real money, like wealth or people who do who don't want others to know how great it is. It affords freedom and unlimited opportunities ..
Its fantastic, it doesn't inoculate you from everything, death, heartbreak, illness but poor people have to deal with those things too and money makes it infinitively easier

Is it just about material possessions? If we had more money we could have the thermostat above 17.5 degrees (which it's only at for about 5 hours a day, the rest of the time it's at 12), being warmer in the winter would definitely make me happier.

First thing I'd spend a sudden substantial windfall on though is a counsellor for DS - he's on a waiting list but who knows how long that will take, and the GP won't do a CAMHS referral as it will be refused, so I have a depressed child who wants to die and is threatening to harm himself and there is fuck all early intervention or preventative help out there unless you can pay for it.

On a more material level would be making the house nicer and replacing things that are worn out - our double glazing is knackered for example. The bathroom suite is over 60 years old, the kitchen must be 40, they're hard to keep clean, damaged, some bits are falling apart and they depress me.

I think most people don’t understand what happiness is. They view it as just ‘relief’ from their current problems.

Of course YANBU.

As someone that has been bankrupt and also now in a financially stable position, it makes me laugh when people who've never been in poverty say that. It's just utterly disingenuous. Of course you can't literally hand over money somewhere to purchase an emotion. But money buys sleep free from worry about finances, a comfy bed, options, time and energy to see loved ones, it buys more than a week off work on bereavement leave when you lose your spouse suddenly, it buys experiences that bring job, hobbies that bring a sense of achievement, social occasions with people.

a platitude to stop the peasants rebelling?

I think happiness is about freedom to do the things that bring you joy, strong interpersonal relationships and a sense of purpose. It's about the security of knowing that you can navigate and survive misfortune and that you have choices and options to make change to increase your happiness if necessary. There's not a single thing on that list that isn't more achievable if you have money, so absolutely it can bring you happiness. If you are happy in poverty, then that's generally because you by sheer good fortune are content with the limited options open to you, so despite not having money, certainly not because of it. I do believe that poverty can build some positive character traits, resilience, resourcefulness, appreciation of non material things, but that is in no way said in support of it. Its disgraceful and shameful that some people live in poverty while others enjoy such excess.

The people I hear saying this, or similar, are usually in a decent financial position (not necessarily wealthy but "comfortable"). I never hear people who are truly struggling claim this.

While lack of money will make you less happy, the fact is that it is possible (and common) to be extremely wealthy and very unhappy.

Some of the wealthiest families I know (think private jet levels of wealth) are also some the most dysfunctional and miserable.

I'm sure they would be even more miserable if they had the same family relations and no money, but money certainly doesn't make them happy.

I guess it depends if your inheritently rich where life ticks over and the money keeps coming in or working to have that level of wealth.

if your working aboard 2/3rds of the year to earn 6 figures you can’t outsource can you, you physically need to be there. Having a million in the bank but being away x amount of months or weeks at a time doesn’t buy you time to watch your kids grow up, watch them play sport, watch their first navity that sort of thing.

I disagree that money can’t buy time. Surely it can if it enables you to work less or not at all?

In your examples yes due to poverty and i did say where poverty is in play then yes money will help with happiness naturally. Im talking about in instances where people are comfortable or rich

Time: If your working away but earning 6 figures - theres lack of time for family/hobbies, you cant outsource working away.

If your addicted to making more money so a workaholic then as previous, and most earning these types of money are addicted to work to keep it rolling in and need to be in control.

I have a million in the bank but have never seen my child play their sport or took them to school or watched their play as i’m never there. That type of thing.

Health- yes maybe not affected by the likes of chronic poor health disease, but cancer etc doesn’t discriminate.

Family and friends- some of the most deprived areas have the strongest relationships for helping each other out, clothing, food, borrowing a tea bag, giving there last £5 to someone else who needs gas/electric. So no money doesn’t always equate to generousity or kindness.

Time - money can pay for outsourcing things to buy you time. Cleaner, nanny, contractors etc. It can afford you flexibility in hours and patterns of work.

Health - again, from affording clean,safe ,stable housing rather than an overcrowded,damp and mouldy flat. Affording to have the heating when needed. Affording good , healthy food. Affording gym,holidays , hobbies that improve your mental health. And of course, affording better treatments, being seen on time, treating the cause rather than plastering over symptoms, preventative care etc.

Friends - it’s hard to maintain friendships (especially in groups) if you’re the only one that can only do walk in the park with a packup. Or the one that always suggests the cheaper/free options. Or the one that can never join in with an event, or offer practical help or do a nice gesture, or have the bill subsidised. Or the one that never has time to meet up because they can’t afford childcare or because they work all the hours under the sun to make ends meet.It can work for a while , but it’s never sustainable long term.

Again, you must be at least comfortable to not realise how much money can actually make a difference to all of those things and how many things we take for granted.

I don't think money can necessarily make you happy. It can make your life more comfortable. But being poor can certainly make you miserable.

yes I agree. As I said it does help solve some health issues. But it can't help much if you have a terminal condition for example.

I suppose I was trying to make the point that some things cannot be bought no matter how much money you have and we often fail to value them because we live in a world where everything is valued by its monetary value .

I don't think money buys happiness as such. It does make life easier and takes away the stress of living pay cheque to pay cheque.
I am on the pay cheque to pay cheque and find it incredibly stressful balancing the pennies each month. However, I am very happy with everything else in our life.

My in-laws are well off, living very comfortably with no worries. They come out with this bullshit all the time. We on the other hand, rent a shit house, live month to month on our wages, have no savings. I am one of those that checks my bank balance every day before going to the shops so I know how much I can afford.

I understand that rich people can be miserable, but I'd be extremely happy just to have the security that money can bring.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but you can be a lot more comfortable in misery.

One of my old bosses always said that money doesn't buy happiness but it's certainly more comfortable crying in a car than on a bike when it's raining!

Odd but true, there is certainly a sense of relief not having to worry about putting food on the table or paying the gas bill.

I don't think it buys happiness but it absolutely relieves one of life's many worries.

I'm not sure if absolute happiness is really achievable. I think you can be content but, as life is full of uncontrollable factors, contentment varies.

What money does give you is choice. And when choice is taken away, life becomes more restrictive and contentment dwindles significantly.

What money doesn’t buy is:
Time
Health
Family/ friends

It does though. Definitely time, you can work less or pay for work to be done. Not being poor definitely lads to better health and if you are wealthy with poor health, you can have better treatment, care, facilities. Friends, not genuine perhaps, but having no money so you can never do anything or go anywhere doesn't help you make or keep friends either.

It doesn’t in itself , but it does give you security and options to do things that make you happy - be that buying a nice house or lovely holidays- my mum once said it made being miserable a lot more tolerable -

Money gives you choices, where to live, health care, education for your kids. I have been on the bones of my arise, I am now quite comfortable, I know what makes me happy!