To think people who say “money doesn’t buy happiness” have never had real money?

It doesn’t protect you from illness or tragedy. It does make things easier though.
I had a horrific teen years. The other girls who suffered with me, at least one dead and another stuck in it for life. Through marriage and kids. I came from a family who were middle class. They came from poverty. I was able to finish my education and get a degree and decent jobs while my children were young.
I also married a man who has built a decent career and is now a high earner. So I don’t have to work anymore and I can have expensive therapy and heal. We have land and animals. Our life isn’t always easy but it is certainly easier than it might have been if I’d not had money. I am very fortunate and often struggle with it, I suppose a survivors guilt.

I think this is maybe a narrow view of what happiness looks like - obviously with more money there is a better chance someone's basic needs are being met in terms of secure accommodation, healthy good food, access to appropriately timed medical care which can often be a source of stress for people who are less well off. But I don't think that is enough to just translate to happiness. You can be wealthy and have other external stressors - maybe your friends are only interested in your money and you feel very lonely, maybe you're depressed or struggling with a mental health condition or addiction, maybe you're grieving a loss - money can't just make those issues go away by themselves - I think mental resilience and strong and healthy coping skills are more beneficial in those situations. I do think there are people who are glass half full because they have a resilient nature and are more likely to focus on the positives in life and that's not related to income.

I do t think money makes you happy, I think it makes you less stressed. I’m always stressed about a big thing happening that will cost money I don’t have. To have that taken away would be amazing.

I assume that the people who say this have never been poor.

If you have say 1 million in the bank, you may not feel happier with 2 million in the bank but if you have £1k in the bank, you’ll feel a lot happier with £100k in the bank. The first person gained more money but money has a bigger impact when you start off with less. It doesn’t solve all problems but it brings choices to make your life better, easier and happier.

I am not poor but nonetheless most (not all) of the things I worry about would be solved by a bit more money.

Agreed. Ppl who say this do my head in. They clearly haven’t been really struggling. Yes it might not make u extremely happy to not ever have to worry if you have enough to cover the bills, buy food and nappies, even to know in an emergency u either have savings to cover it or could get credit. The pressure that would relieve would instantly make you a less stressed and happier person

I also think many platitudes like this contain truth but not in all circumstances.

Like, absence makes the heart grow fonder vs out of sight, out of mind. Both can be true but not in all scenarios.

I don't think it's that. People have said similar things for millenia. "Where your treasure is, your heart will be also" etc.

I think once your necessities are covered a lot of people get easily trapped in the rat race /pursuit of money and don't think about what truly makes them happy. I also think vast riches can isolate you. How would you know if that guy really liked you or was a gold digger?

If you could afford to outsource everything, I think it would rob you of many joys. I like gardening, baking, looking after my kids, making clothes, even cleaning is sometimes satisfying. I've done some construction and that was really satisfying. I think that in the west if everything becomes AI / automated / outsourced it would lead to a huge lack of purpose and wellbeing.

I'm not living in poverty but have a pretty standard adult life albeit with a severe anxiety disorder.

Which would be reduced by 98% if I was rich.

Wouldn't have to worry about work. Or fighting for reasonable adjustments at work. Or housing. Or money. Or ageing parents. Or socialising. Or travel. Or how I'll cope when parents die and I have to sort out everything. Or my own housing and financial future. Or most things.

I'd feel safe and secure in the knowledge that I can financially support myself and my parents forever and I can pay people to take away all practical stressors.

I wouldn't just be happy, I'd be over the fucking moon.

I don't think romanticising struggle is a bad thing, as long as you have something to show for it at the end. Struggling can be a catalyst for growth and change.

Saying that, some of the most miserable people I've ever known have been obscenely wealthy.

Money can make things a hell of a lot easier though, as long as you're sensible with it. I don't believe it can buy happiness, but it can certainly alleviate sadness.

Barring anything unforseeable, I'm going to have a healthy pension. If I were to lose my job tomorrow, I'd be fine for a long time without income. If my partner and I separated, we'd both be secure. If one of us gets sick, we have private health insurance.

It's even the little things. If I have a bad week at work, I can buy myself something at the weekend to cheer myself up. If we're stressed out, we can pack a bag and go on holiday.

The alternative - and I've been there - is to have any/all of those problems while also worrying where next months rent is coming from or how to put food on the table.

This is what I mean. A lot of people don’t have any/most/some of the even most basic of those things.

The narrative always goes to mansions and millions , when the vast majority of people don’t want or even aspire to that.

But the things you describe as making you happy, way back all show that you were in a relatively comfortable position. Maybe not where you are now but you weren't "making it home" if you were living hand to mouth and wondering how you'd pay the electricity.

That was your age and just starting out in life in your first home with the person you loved.

Not because of what money you had.

It's like people who look back fondly on getting one present and an apple and orange for Christmas. Because they were children with few if any responsibilties experiencing a nice and uncommon event so it's a nice memory.

The rest of the year where they had fuck-all was shit though.

I have fond memories of going out to pubs or nightclubs underage with a £5 or not money at all because you'd usually be able to get a drink or two bought for you. All your mates would be there and you'd chat and dance all night then walk home or someone's Mum would pick us up.

It was brilliant without money and I was happy because I was 16 and having a great night with my mates.

Money gives you other benefits (comfort, fun, removes stress/worry, material wealth) but does not provide the foundations of what fundamentally makes us as humans truly happy. You could have the biggest house, car, amazing holidays, designer wardrobes, but take away the foundations of what happiness means to you (family, friends, health, walks in nature etc) and it becomes vacuous. If wealth sits alongside an already happy life, then it absolutely compliments it.

The evidence from The Spirit Level book is that rich people in very unequal societies are almost as depressed and anxious as the poor, whereas when the income and wealth gaps are smaller everyone is happier (and physically healthier too).

Because how else would you not “see” how it can bring happiness? I can think of at least 10 things that would make me happier with more money (from big ones to small ones) and I’m not even that badly off.

I suspect that people think if you are rich you ‘ought’ to be happy.

Money doesn’t buy you happiness but poverty buys you nothing.

i was very poor for years and now I’m well off. It’s much much much better to have money. Has it fixed all my problems? No. But it’s fixed a hell of a lot. And a therapist I can complain about the stuff I can’t fix.

I read there was a study years ago where they proved and disproved this sentiment at the same time. They discovered the subjects involved had greater happiness the more money they had (due to less stress and hardship, such as not worrying about bills, better health like dental and insurance, being able to enjoy normal daily life activities they previously couldn't such as not worrying about paying a food when out) up to 60k per year. After that though the increases had pretty much no noticeable effect on the main quality of life.

It might have been an American study (can't remember) so the amount is not necessarily wholly applicable everywhere in the world but I bet there is a number it plateaus at everywhere. Once you can afford all the basics you need you don't 'need' more but if you cannot afford those things you will struggle and thus feel the effects. With COL more and more are failing to meet basics now and its having a big effect.

The richer you are the more you are taken advantage of (you see this with CF coming out the wood work after big wins like the lottery) and that leads to loneliness, isolation and lack of trust in others motives though (which is seen a lot in celebrities). Why possibly historical classes formed with people sticking to those in similar circumstances to themselves.

I’ve had £25k of psychiatric treatment and can testify that money absolutely buys happiness!

Im sure it’s possible to be rich and have problems but your problems aren’t “how the fuck am I going to pay the rent?” or “how can I get a voucher for the Foodbank?”

Money buys choice, it doesn’t solve everything but it it’s a hell of a lot easier dealing with your problems in comfort! Money also buys health. Rich people live longer and they stay healthy longer, they have access to early screening tests and the very best healthcare without waiting lists. Rich people have good nutrition and time to take exercise.

I think the phrase "the best labour saving device is money" is partly true.

For me and my family having enough money has meant living in a good sized house in a nice area and being able to educate our children privately. We've also supported them through university with no change in our lifestyle.

Because we pay people to do boring shit like cleaning, decorating and gardening we have quite a bit of leisure time and the money to do nice things like eating out, which we do as often as we want.

Whenever something breaks (washing machine, dishwasher and fridge in the past few years) we just replace it.

When our mortgage increased we could afford it. Likewise when gas and electricity prices went up, it was annoying (£500 a month at one point) but we could still pay. We do have a mortgage so we're not rich but we are definitely well off by my standards. And it makes our lives easier and therefore happier.

Of course it doesn't insulate us from illness, bereavement, sorrow or tragedy. Our children have had some mental health issues and we've had awful things happen in our lives. But I'd still rather have money than not.

They're right, money doesn't buy you happiness. Plenty of rich people are miserable, plenty of rich people end their own lives. Material things can't make you happy, thats why people are like hamsters on a wheel no mattter what they have. But lf course it's better to be rich than poor. Surely this is obvious 🤔

Money alone might not bring you happiness, but it sure as hell removes many of the barriers. If you’re inadequately housed and fed, and cold, and overworked, and continually worried about how to provide for yourself and your family - well, there’s little happiness in that.

I thought it was rich people who said that? As in ‘I have many of the same struggles as poor people’. Except you don’t also have the worry of paying bills and putting food in the table!

Wrong, but what does my lifestyle have to do with anything?