To make DS go on a scouts trip so DH and I can have a weekend to ourselves

I would encourage but wouldn't force him.
Personally I hated brownie and guide camps, went on both but they are better now, more fun activities and better accommodation.
He may or may not enjoy it.
But I agree with PP it's best to start small, a night at GPs or a friends before a weekend away.
Definitely discuss concerns with scout/cub leaders so they can make any adjustments, ensure he is in a smaller dorm, with close friends, keep an eye on him, reassure he doesn't have to do any activity he doesn't want to, share photos of venue/accommodation /timetable/menu.
You may get called to collect early although ime they are reluctant to do this for homesickness but you could say you would be happy to collect him if he is really unhappy after first night? So he feels more confident about trying it.
8 is still very young so plenty of time to go on activity trips away in the future.
I totally understand you wanting a child free weekend it was 15 years before me and DH got one!

If it was his first ever camp I would maybe make him go and try it in the hopes he would actually enjoy it once he’s their but if he’s already been and he was scared the last time it would be cruel to force him to go again.

I would respect his wishes and not send him to the camp. I think it's selfish to send him anyway, just so you can have a weekend to yourselves (though I sympathise).

I think 8 is too young. You'll have many children free weekends, weeks, months and you'll be missing your babies and how quickly they grow and leave the nest. Enjoy this time whilst you can.
I do agree trips and camps can be amazing for them to meet new friends, push out of comfort zone and broaden their mind, but not at 8! Bless him 💕

Morons who use the term snowflake are usually the most offended by ridiculous things like the little mermaid being played by a black woman .

Forcing a frightened 8 year old to go on an overnight trip with an organisation internationally famous for attracting paedophiles... Unbelievable.

He’s only 8! Sorry but I’d wait a couple more years until he was ready.

And I know how you feel as we had no family support either and never went away on our own. It sucks but we had no choice. How can you make your child go when they don’t want to?

Also, if he does go and there’s a problem, how will you pick him up if you are away?

I think given he’s already tried it and didn’t like it and is still only 8 then yes YABU sorry, although I do completely get how desperate you must be for child free time. 8 is still so little still and he was brave enough to try it once, and is now telling you he didn’t like it and was scared, you have to listen to him.

How exactly do you arrange a sleepover at someone else's house?

Surely you have to wait for an invite?

no, I wouldn't do this.

Don’t force him or you’ll make an issue. He’s young, probably next year he’ll be happy to go. If you want a child free break arrange a sleepover for both DC on same day. He’ll probably find that more manageable.

YABVY to force him to go. Homesickness is horrible and it’d be cruel to send him knowing how miserable he’d be.

Had this recently with my two. My oldest was happy to stay, but my youngest wasn't keen on sleeping over. So we compromised youngest picked up at end of activity. And if the eldest felt too scared or homesick we would pick them up no problems, no fuss.

We had little support when DS was young, so I can understand the lure of a childfree weekend.
However he is very young and didn’t enjoy the last one, so I would speak to the scout leader and see what they think.
Sometimes leaving it until they are ready - and hear from their friends what they missed out on - is the right thing to do.

Mind you I still regret not signing DS up for the ski trip in last year of primary. He expressed concern about being away for a week and as it was a big non refundable deposit required in a short time frame, I didn’t push it, but it turned out to be a seminal trip for everyone who went. So speak to the scout master and get their view.

My son was in the Scouts for years. The understanding is that , if a child becomes distressed at bedtime, and cannot be distracted or soothed, then you, as his parent, agree to drive over and collect him/ stay with him. Even if he goes he may well not stay once it starts getting dark, so having any alcohol on your child free evening might not be a good idea.

I would only want him to go to the scout camp if he wants to. Maybe just a little gentle encouragement.

and to be honest when mine are in scout camps I can’t really relax that much. No glass of wine allowed all weekend as you are basically “on call” just in case one of them needs to come home - even with a sickness bug if nothing else

Could you do a bit of camping in your garden to get him used to it and possibly have a few of his friends over to camp out too. If that goes well, he should be happier about going and you stand a chance of a free weekend.

Also you might get a parent who reciprocates another time and you get two weekends!

Absolutely don't make him!
8 is still very young, and if he has a bad experience now it could put him off doing stuff for years.
I would be unfair on him and the volunteer leaders.
One homesick child can have a knock-on effect and suddenly you've got 10 homesick kids.
If a leader has to spend half the night up calming and upset child, they are not going to be in the best form to look after 30 kids the next day. Leading camps is exhausting at the best of times!

I'm afraid you decided to have children. Looking after your DCs is part of the deal.

I wouldn't force anyone to go on a trip they really didn't want to go on. Of course you can talk to him and try and persuade him, but if he continues to say no, I would respect that.

Yes it's good to show kids they need to do things sometimes they don't want to do, but trips that are organised for fun are not part of that category.

How horribly selfish.
I hated staying away and residentials at 8. Loved them by 14/15.
It’s hardly your son’s fault that you ‘don’t get a break’ because you have failed to make a village. Plenty ‘don’t have family help’. Newsflash - support doesn’t have to mean family. You can build a network with trusted friends, paid babysitters, good neighbors. People you and your son trust who are often like or better than family.
Oh but enjoy your ‘me time’ while your son gets upset won’t you.

You see the other thing is, kids around this age know they are supposed to like camps, sleepovers etc etc to resist peer pressure, and instead listen to how your son is feeling, is good I think. He tried it before. Didn't like it. Doesn't want to do it again (at the moment)

Seems even some parents judge kids who don't want to go ( yes, that's the person who suggested not going makes the kid a snowflake ..)

You think an 8yr who is scared is a snowflake.

Get a fucking grip.

Our outgoing DS loved camps with his cub/scout group and happily signed up to a weekend 'district' camp when he was about 10. We had assumed that lots from his scout group would be there, but when we turned up, we realised that amongst the 50 or so people, he only recognised one other (older) boy from his scout group, along with an occasional scout leader. It was also pretty chaotic (not a problem usually, but no one 'scooped him up' into an activity), so he and I were hanging around on the periphery as others were setting up (me trying to get him to join in) and once it became clear no one else was arriving, he quietly said he wanted to go home. I somewhat encouraged him to stay but I could see he really didn't want to so I went up to the organiser and said he had changed his mind and took him home.

At the time it was quite galling, as we had booked a night away which we lost money on, but it was the right thing to do. If I had insisted he stay he would have (he wouldn't have made a scene) and I have no doubt he actually would have had a great time - it was just initial shyness, but I felt I did need to respect his feelings and autonomy. (Actually my main motivator is I would have felt awful on the drive home and worried the whole weekend!). He went to many scout/explorer camps since then - just being a bit more interrogative about who else would be going....

If your DS has already tried a camp and didn't enjoy it, and is now saying he doesn't want to go, I would respect his wishes.

It's not his first time though is it? He's already tried it and hated it. And op has already talked about it with him and he's very clear he doesn't want to.

Like a pp, we've not had a night to ourselves since our autistic son was born almost 6 years ago and it won't be happening anytime soon either. Yes it's frustrating sometimes but it is what it is, it's life with young kids. And 8 is still young.

@JambonetFromage I understand you want him to go, but forcing him would be really unfair. Would you go honestly enjoy your weekend knowing you've basically forced him to go and that you'll likely get a call any minute asking to come fetch him??

Only you know your child.

Is he a 'i really didn't want to go but ended up liking it' kinda kid or a 'i knew I'd hate it and did hate it' kinda kid. I felt I could judge this with mine.

I have one child that absolutely hated sleepovers and never wanted to go on camp. Which is fine. And no, he isn't a snowflake.