Page 3 | For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 16/04/2025 13:46

Victoriawould24 · 16/04/2025 11:24

Some of the posts here are very’pick me’ try hard to the point of embarrassment and also sound a little bit condescending.
Reminds me of a very right on well off white middle class aunt of mine that used to fall over herself with delight whenever she realised one of our friends was black or gay. She had a Pakistani cleaner that she referred to as if they were mates and used to encourage her to bring her kids like some little social experiment for her culturally closeted kids.
I know it’s well intended but seriously these people do not sound like nice people at all based on OP updates and antisocial behaviour is exactly that and has the same negative impact whoever is the perpetrator and whatever their reasons.

I agree with PP that it’s manipulative to send a note putting all responsibility on the neighbours to complain and try and manage as if they have no control whatsoever of the noise they are making.

Ring the police tonight OP if it was a 15 year old having a house party they’d attend and shut it down.

Hard agree.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 16/04/2025 13:41

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 11:32

Seriously. Get a grip. It's a wedding. They politely informed you of what was happening and a contact in case it was a problem. It's a one off. Get a grip

A wedding that is lasting 5 days and nights?! Sorry, but when you live in the middle of a road/housing estate, you don't get to play your music all night every night for nearly an entire week without neighbours getting, understandably pissed off with you!
Why does it being a wedding cancel out the OP's (and her neighbours) right to enjoy peace and quiet in the evening?
If they wanted to celebrate in this manner they should have booked a venue to hold it where they wouldn't be causing a disturbance for so long. It's anti-social at best (or worst, whichever way you look at it).

MrsMappFlint · 16/04/2025 13:23

Whynotaxthisyear · 16/04/2025 12:33

Don't think it's a good idea to pretend you don't know what is happening when you have been clearly told and given a phone number to complain to.

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No, that's right. The OP must play by the rules, even to the detriment of her family's health. That's how people who decide not to play by the rules run rings around those who do.

Sending a text to warn neighbours that you will be behaving as if you lived on a desert island is the height of cheeky fuckiness and has been done only so they can say, 'we did warn you' which excuses them of precisely nothing!

They have placed themselves outside normal conventions and the OP mustn't sit wringing her hands while they do precisely as they please.

She must get the police out there one way or another. Her husband has a brain injury, her daughter is young and that comes, or should come, first.

If you think, for one nano second, that the neighbours will instantly shut the noise off when she texts or call them, then you must be living in St Mary Mead with Miss Marple as a neighbour, Get with the programme!

EarthSight · 16/04/2025 13:17

TonTonMacoute · 16/04/2025 12:56

It's every night for a week! It's so loud it's disturbing OP five houses away!

Its completely selfish and inconsiderate.

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This.

It's a total pisstake.

lifeonmars100 · 16/04/2025 13:09

MsNevermore · 16/04/2025 03:39

One night? I could deal with it.
Multiple nights on the bounce? Absolutely not.
We have quite a few Central/South American neighbours, and vast majority of the time, they are quiet, courteous - the best kind of neighbours you could want.
But the ones who hail from Mexico LOVE a party when it’s a big family event. A few months ago, one of the daughters had her quincenera and they had a full mariachi band in their garage. It was LOUD.
But because they are such wonderful neighbours normally, and a quincenera is such a special thing in their culture, I was fine with the noise for one night! My family and a lot of the other neighbours were out on our own driveways having a boogie with our own kids and wishing the birthday girl well.
As soon as that event was over, they went right back to their usual, quiet, neighbourly selves. If they were doing it every weekend or multiple days in a row, I’d be seething.

That sounds rather wonderful and as you say it was an important one off event. It is very diverse where I live too and of course there are different celebrations at different times of the year. For example my immediate neighbours always have a houseful at Eid and I get one evening of noise which is totally understandable, it is a family celebration and tbh I love to see eveyone all dressed up and see how excited the little ones are. I would go mental if I had to put up with 5 days of prolonged and loud noise. It is rude and thoughtless

Hotmess101 · 16/04/2025 13:04

StMarie4me · 16/04/2025 07:38

I remember 35 years ago when the Asian weddings where I lived used to take over the street.

Every religion, culture and neighbour used to love the celebration and sheer joy of it all.

How times have changed. 😞

And then they all lived happily ever after 😌

That’s how fairytales end, right?

Smallmercies · 16/04/2025 13:04

Smilersam · 16/04/2025 02:15

It's an Asian wedding in the UK - go tell them they are being unreasonable!

Full marks for ignorance AND racism! ☺️🙌

HappyToSmile · 16/04/2025 13:00

They've given you advanced warning, but so gave you a number to contact if there was a problem, so use it?!
They won't even know who you are unless you tell them your address.

lifeonmars100 · 16/04/2025 12:58

Inconsiderate, selfish and anti-social, even for one night the noise shouldn't be so intense it can be heard for the length of the street. There will be shift workers, unwell people and young children who could all be adversely affected by this. I am sorry you are having to put up with this and hope that it can be calmed down to acceptable levels

TonTonMacoute · 16/04/2025 12:56

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 11:32

Seriously. Get a grip. It's a wedding. They politely informed you of what was happening and a contact in case it was a problem. It's a one off. Get a grip

It's every night for a week! It's so loud it's disturbing OP five houses away!

Its completely selfish and inconsiderate.

Whynotaxthisyear · 16/04/2025 12:33

MrsMappFlint · 16/04/2025 10:14

This is a good idea.

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Don't think it's a good idea to pretend you don't know what is happening when you have been clearly told and given a phone number to complain to.

OneAvidHazelQuoter · 16/04/2025 12:32

Because a lot of people are assholes basically so reasonable people are in fear of abuse and repercussions.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/wembley-murder-stabbing-cromwell-road-alleyway-met-police-old-bailey-b1147739.html

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/08/collin-reeves-ex-soldier-killed-somerset-neighbours-after-parking-dispute-court-

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/09/monster-neighbour-jailed-gloucestershire-murder-can-arslan-matthew-boorman

There's just a few neighbour conflict murders.

How about the assholes just don't be assholes? Beggars belief that some posters think it's fine for neighbours to tell people they're going to engage in antisocial behaviour for a week and the onus is on the victims of the ASB to complain.

JudgeJ · 16/04/2025 12:30

NeringaCS · 16/04/2025 00:52

Possibly an Asian wedding? They’re often a week long with multiple events, so there may be a cultural aspect.

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Clearly but it's still unacceptable to inflict it on a residential area for a week.

JudgeJ · 16/04/2025 12:28

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:00

I'd be ok with it but only because it's a wedding and a one off. Does make me laugh since MN is always complaining that weddings don't focus on the marriage and whole family, yet when they do they also complain 🤣 🙄

But for a week? One night might be just about acceptable but a 7 day/night event in a residential area is too much, there are venues that cater for such long weddings.

Karasis · 16/04/2025 12:24

God sounds horrific. I understand about weddings in different cultures but the celebrations don't need to all be at one house do they usually? There's venues, there's family members' houses. This sounds totally unfair to people on your street. These "It's more that people like to moan about anything and everything 🙃 how late is the noise going til? Go join in and enjoy it 🙂" (don't think OP was invited btw @Tbrh 🙄) are often I think very noise-impervious themselves and think of it as just a bit of background noise and people who are disturbed by it as just curtain-twitchers who could tune it out but don't. But that's stupid when the noise is enough to wake people multiple times a night. It would be a week of torture and sleep-deprivation to me and why should ONE set of people in a street do that to everyone else? People who are NOT getting married and have to work, parent, people who may be ill, busy, have difficult stuff to deal with?

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 12:23

LBFseBrom · 16/04/2025 11:21

I wonder how many other neighbours are going to complain?

Yes, same
If the OP knows some of the neighbours ( who I’m sure would agree with her) then a few of them should get to get her and approach them,
This must be annoying everyone on the street

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 12:17

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 00:29

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

but there's another 5 nights to go

What kind of wedding celebration is this, 5 nights!
What culture are they?

Surely they can’t keep this up for five days

I would probably tolerate it for today but if the same level of music starts tomorrow I would kindly ask them to turn it down as it was too disruptive…..as well as completely unfair on other neighbours!

5 Days !!!

beAsensible1 · 16/04/2025 12:16

OneAvidHazelQuoter · 16/04/2025 11:57

Weird derail about OPs husband.

It's not reasonable that the neighbours have basically said we're going to be antisocial for a week, if you dont like it, text.

Unlike these neighbours, most people don't want to potentially get into conflict with neighbours so are unlikely to complain despite the impact it will have on them because who knows what will happen?

Are they going to adjust their behaviour or are they going to think 'no 44 have complained, well they were warned so tough shit'. Because that's often why people post those letters, not because they give a shit or will change anything but just so they can say 'well we did our bit and warned them, it's their problem now'.

I'm a woman living alone and would never feel safe complaining about neighbours to them.

And when I lived with a partner and had horrifically antisocial noisy neighbours and DP politely knocked on the door they'd say yeah mate we'll turn it down then turn it up and you could hear the party-goers cheering and laughing.

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its not conflict to send a text.

why is everyone so terrified of having a conversation, over text mind you.

just moan and seethe and say nothing, winding themselves up to be eternally miserable without ever advocating for themselves.

people are not mind readers.

Hyperbowl · 16/04/2025 12:15

The OP already said that they’re inconsiderate, selfish and have already been argumentative and confrontational towards other neighbours. They shouldn’t even be putting the whole street in this position in the first place. Of course she can be seething, it’s bang out of order. Neighbour disputes can have a long lasting affect. If they’re going to be anti-social enough to play loud music all night then realistically they’re not going to be answering their phones are they? Even if they do it’s doubtful they’re going to stop. They clearly think they have a god-given right to do as they please. Of course they know it’s too much or they wouldn’t have made a show of writing letters in the first place to try and justify their behaviour.

BobbyBiscuits · 16/04/2025 12:15

A loud noisy party for a whole week? What time do they turn off/down to inaudible to you the music?
I don't consider this remotely reasonable. One or at a push two nights, but a whole week?
Next time it's disturbing you in the evening text them and politely say so. Ask them if they can please keep the noise down and give them opportunity to do so.
If they don't then contact the council.

LushLemonTart · 16/04/2025 12:14

Good luck. They don't sound very nice.

The tree earplugs are the best or maybe get noise cancelling headphones?

MeridianB · 16/04/2025 12:13

They sounds like very nasty people - who goes from 0-60 on a aggression with a neighbour who reasonably asks you not to block their drive? Vile.

beAsensible1 · 16/04/2025 12:12

are they going late every night? because im pretty sure they dont.

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 12:07

Hyperbowl · 16/04/2025 11:56

Why don’t you get a grip and have a go at being remotely intelligible? There is no excuse for keeping people awake for days on end. Plain selfish and entitled. So what if it’s a wedding? A wedding doesn’t negate other people’s right to a peaceful life whether they inform you or not. You can’t just break laws because you’ve told everyone you’re going to do it first. What an idiotic comment. How about we pop round and keep you awake for the same duration of time - it’ll only be a one off so I’m sure you’ll be delighted and more than accommodating.

OP I second ringing your council and explaining this is planned and deliberate with many people involved. This goes beyond the normal scope of noisy neighbour complaints. I would also get advice from 101.

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O meant they have asked her to let them know if it's too much. She's not telling them ... She should get a grip and send a polite text or go round and say it's disturbing their sleep so please could they turn the music down after 11.
Seething and moaning in here isn't going to change anything. She's been told to let them know ....

CosyLemur · 16/04/2025 11:58

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 00:33

DH won't let me because we're relatively new on the street. I also suspect that the groom won't be checking his phone.

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They've literally told to you let them know! FFS! What a pair of snowflakes!