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AIBU?

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Original poster

For thinking that you shouldn't impose your celebrations on the entire street?

262 replies

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 00:29

We had a letter through the door yesterday from a house on our cul-de-sac. It informed us that they will be having wedding celebrations from the 14th-21st April, and that there may be increased cars and loud music but they will try to keep disruption to a minimum. They apologised in advance for any inconvenience caused. They've left their number so people can let them know if they have any concerns.

The music and bad singing is so loud that I can hear it in every single room of the house including the back bedrooms, despite the fact that they live at the top of the cul-de-sac and I live at the bottom so our gardens face in completely different directions.

My husband is sleeping downstairs because it's the only way to somewhat escape it and he has to work. As I've typed this the music has been ramped up so high that I can hear it word for word through closed double glazing. I'm at least 5 houses away.

If it was one night I wouldn't be bothered about it, but there's another 5 nights to go, and clearly the party isn't winding down because the music keeps getting louder. I just don't think it's fair that this is being imposed on the entire street for a week.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 02:41

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:37

Just go have a conversation with them? Ask if they can keep it down after 10pm, they all probably have to go to work too, might be a good excuse for them as well

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I need to get DH on side because he's a people pleaser and has said he doesn't want me to talk to them.

The celebrations start late and end late so I don't think anyone hosting is working this week ha!

OP posts:
Pallisers · 16/04/2025 02:40

Pop around and tell them that or text it to the number you have been given. It's a very reasonable thing to let them know. If they are halfway decent, they will dial it back a bit.

If they were half way decent they wouldn't have imposed this on the OP and her family in the first place.

having a week-long noisy wedding is fine if everyone around you is part of the same community and will do the same and so understands.

Doing it in a community that isn't doing that. come on we all know that isn't right or nice or neighbourly.

The people saying "oh just join in the celebration" are just nuts. What do you think - take off work for a week and crash a wedding of people you don't know. Like seriously?

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:37

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 02:30

Yes I am going to moan because my husband has had to escape to the sofa to get some sleep before work.

For what it's worth my husband is disabled and a lack of sleep causes him to "crash" resulting in him being completely out of action for 1-2 weeks. Sleeping on the sofa is uncomfortable for him and he'll have to request he WFH for the rest of this week as his sleep will be poor quality and he needs to prioritise staying well and managing this week.

Not everyone has the luxury of "enjoying" disruptive events.

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Just go have a conversation with them? Ask if they can keep it down after 10pm, they all probably have to go to work too, might be a good excuse for them as well

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 16/04/2025 02:36

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:34

That was in response to the partying comment.

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??? Not sure what your point is. It's still selfish and antisocial behaviour. In Scotland you can call the police and I would.

WaryHiker · 16/04/2025 02:35

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 02:30

Yes I am going to moan because my husband has had to escape to the sofa to get some sleep before work.

For what it's worth my husband is disabled and a lack of sleep causes him to "crash" resulting in him being completely out of action for 1-2 weeks. Sleeping on the sofa is uncomfortable for him and he'll have to request he WFH for the rest of this week as his sleep will be poor quality and he needs to prioritise staying well and managing this week.

Not everyone has the luxury of "enjoying" disruptive events.

Show quote history

Pop around and tell them that or text it to the number you have been given. It's a very reasonable thing to let them know. If they are halfway decent, they will dial it back a bit.

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:34

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 16/04/2025 02:31

It's selfish and antisocial behaviour. I don't care what "cultural" excuse is being used for it.

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That was in response to the partying comment.

wishiwasupahill · 16/04/2025 02:33

LBFseBrom · 16/04/2025 01:03

I think the week will pass quickly and not be as bad as you are anticipating. There will be a pleasant atmosphere and no doubt you and other neighbours will be invited to some of it. It will be beautiful if it is a Sikh or Hindu wedding, quite spectacular. The music won't go on to all hours.

Don't be mean, enjoy it!

This is a bit of a leap.

If they were going to be invited to any of it, they old have already been invited.

I think “enjoy it” is a bit unrealistic.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 16/04/2025 02:31

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:29

Maybe educate yourself on Asian weddings if you think it's all about partying, slightly more depth to it than that 😉

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It's selfish and antisocial behaviour. I don't care what "cultural" excuse is being used for it.

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:31

Redglitter · 16/04/2025 02:10

But it's not a one off its a whole week. I think there's very few people who'd be happy having a week long wedding in their street

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I'm assuming they won't be having weddings all the time, I'd prefer that to someone having a party every week or noisy screaming kids early in the morning or constant barking dogs. I'd take a week long wedding over that any day. (I've had the other kind of annoying, noisy neighbours).

Original poster
Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 02:30

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:46

It's more that people like to moan about anything and everything 🙃 how late is the noise going til? Go join in and enjoy it 🙂

Edited
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Yes I am going to moan because my husband has had to escape to the sofa to get some sleep before work.

For what it's worth my husband is disabled and a lack of sleep causes him to "crash" resulting in him being completely out of action for 1-2 weeks. Sleeping on the sofa is uncomfortable for him and he'll have to request he WFH for the rest of this week as his sleep will be poor quality and he needs to prioritise staying well and managing this week.

Not everyone has the luxury of "enjoying" disruptive events.

OP posts:
Tbrh · 16/04/2025 02:29

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 16/04/2025 02:18

But surely potentially partying for a week is the very opposite of focusing on their marriage?

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Maybe educate yourself on Asian weddings if you think it's all about partying, slightly more depth to it than that 😉

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 16/04/2025 02:18

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:00

I'd be ok with it but only because it's a wedding and a one off. Does make me laugh since MN is always complaining that weddings don't focus on the marriage and whole family, yet when they do they also complain 🤣 🙄

But surely potentially partying for a week is the very opposite of focusing on their marriage?

Smilersam · 16/04/2025 02:15

It's an Asian wedding in the UK - go tell them they are being unreasonable!

Redglitter · 16/04/2025 02:10

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:00

I'd be ok with it but only because it's a wedding and a one off. Does make me laugh since MN is always complaining that weddings don't focus on the marriage and whole family, yet when they do they also complain 🤣 🙄

But it's not a one off its a whole week. I think there's very few people who'd be happy having a week long wedding in their street

LBFseBrom · 16/04/2025 02:04

Toddlerteaplease · 16/04/2025 01:53

There is nothing mean about wanting the noise level reduced. Especially if it will be going on for a week! That’s an awful long time to have rubbish sleep and disturbance.

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I doubt it will be that bad. I've been around a few such happenings and like them - and I'm elderly and value my sleep. They are beautiful, joyous occasions.

Rheoos · 16/04/2025 01:57

I’d just leave it. They are behaving very badly, but it isn’t worth getting into it with them. Firstly because they are unlikely to cancel anything and secondly because it’s worth avoiding conflict with people you can’t get away from.

I have lived next door (as in joined onto) someone who played loud music all night. I trained myself to block it out.

Toddlerteaplease · 16/04/2025 01:53

LBFseBrom · 16/04/2025 01:03

I think the week will pass quickly and not be as bad as you are anticipating. There will be a pleasant atmosphere and no doubt you and other neighbours will be invited to some of it. It will be beautiful if it is a Sikh or Hindu wedding, quite spectacular. The music won't go on to all hours.

Don't be mean, enjoy it!

There is nothing mean about wanting the noise level reduced. Especially if it will be going on for a week! That’s an awful long time to have rubbish sleep and disturbance.

MovingAlongNicely · 16/04/2025 01:49

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:46

It's more that people like to moan about anything and everything 🙃 how late is the noise going til? Go join in and enjoy it 🙂

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What a stupid reply. Her husband has to get up for work in the morning, why would they want to go round the neighbours and ‘join in’?

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:46

Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 01:42

I'm not complaining that the wedding focuses on marriage and family. I'm complaining about the excessively loud music. You can focus on marriage and family without keeping the entire street awake 😅

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It's more that people like to moan about anything and everything 🙃 how late is the noise going til? Go join in and enjoy it 🙂

Original poster
Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 01:42

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:00

I'd be ok with it but only because it's a wedding and a one off. Does make me laugh since MN is always complaining that weddings don't focus on the marriage and whole family, yet when they do they also complain 🤣 🙄

I'm not complaining that the wedding focuses on marriage and family. I'm complaining about the excessively loud music. You can focus on marriage and family without keeping the entire street awake 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Tryinghardtobefair · 16/04/2025 01:40

NeringaCS · 16/04/2025 00:52

Possibly an Asian wedding? They’re often a week long with multiple events, so there may be a cultural aspect.

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It is an Asian wedding 😊

OP posts:
SallyDraperGetInHere · 16/04/2025 01:36

I’d drop in a note. ‘Hello! Congrats on the happy occasion. Thanks for the notice. To be honest, the late night noise is impacting on us and we are five doors down. Can you please have a curfew on noise after 9pm as the rest of us need our sleep for work etc. Thanksa million, number 7.’

Safxxx · 16/04/2025 01:33

Definitely ring them tmro and tell them to keep it down as you got work and children.... Sounds like an Asian wedding so no doubt it will be very loud, maybe tell them to at least by 11pm call it a night 🙏 meanwhile get some earplugs or use headphones to block the noise. Don't worry about being new on the road , if the noise impacts you then you have every right to complain. Hopefully they're reasonable and listen.

LBFseBrom · 16/04/2025 01:03

I think the week will pass quickly and not be as bad as you are anticipating. There will be a pleasant atmosphere and no doubt you and other neighbours will be invited to some of it. It will be beautiful if it is a Sikh or Hindu wedding, quite spectacular. The music won't go on to all hours.

Don't be mean, enjoy it!

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 01:00

I'd be ok with it but only because it's a wedding and a one off. Does make me laugh since MN is always complaining that weddings don't focus on the marriage and whole family, yet when they do they also complain 🤣 🙄

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