Page 9 | To think if your child ends up violent or criminal, it is partly your fault?

TheTaupeMoose · 2025-04-15T20:48:13+00:00

Parenting ^does ^matter, sorry.

Original poster

TheTaupeMoose · 15/04/2025 22:03

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/04/2025 21:54

I’ve worked with multiple offenders and parental causation isn’t a component in assessment or treatment
Often,for perpetrator there’s trauma and social injustice eg poverty,discrimination etc
Looking to apportion blame isn’t as easy as blame the parents.
I’d say cast an eye on the systemic and social inequalities in our society. Consider why are so many offenders from lower socioeconomic groups?

I agree that trauma, poverty, and systemic inequality are major contributors - that’s undeniable. My point isn’t that parents are solely to blame or that we should ignore bigger societal forces. But I do think it’s reasonable to include parenting in the wider picture, especially in terms of emotional development, boundaries, and exposure to violence or neglect.

It’s not about pointing fingers but about recognising that early environments matter and parenting is a key part of that, even if it’s one piece of a much bigger puzzle.

OP posts:

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/04/2025 22:02

Also,criminal, is only attained when person is convicted What about folk never charged,caught?

TooBigForMyBoots · 15/04/2025 22:02

But when it comes to serious outcomes, like a child becoming violent or criminal, there’s often a reluctance to suggest how they were raised might have played a role.

Nonsense. The offender's childhood and parenting is usually put forward as a mitigating factor before sentencing.

Octavia64 · 15/04/2025 22:01

There have been a lot of psychological experiments designed to show that nearly everyone will harm other people given the right circumstances.

after the Second World War a lot of people wanted to believe that the holocaust could have only happened in Germany and that people in other countries wouldn’t harm others

the famous one is the milgram experiment but there were plenty of others - Zimbardo etc. it was a big research area in social psychology.

nearly everyone has the capability of committing violence. Most don’t.

Panterusblackish · 15/04/2025 22:00

TheTaupeMoose · 15/04/2025 21:56

I’m not claiming to know every situation - of course there are exceptions and life is complex. But I do think it’s fair to say that parenting does play a significant role in shaping behaviour, boundaries, and emotional regulation. It’s not about blaming parents for everything, it’s about acknowledging that the home environment and how children are raised can have a long-term impact, especially when it comes to things like violence or criminal choices. That doesn’t mean it’s only the parent’s fault but saying they have no influence? That feels just as unreasonable.

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If this were the case, the siblings of criminals and violent people would also always be violent for criminals.

They're not.

Barbadossunset · 15/04/2025 22:00

thorneyislanddoris · Today 21:56
It’s always the parents fault

If it’s the parents’ fault that a child grows up to be a violent criminal, then are parents also responsible if a child grows up to be a well-adjusted, high achiever?
If there’s a family of three children and one is a criminal but the other are law-abiding and hard working, then are the parents to be blamed for the criminal but praised for the two which are productive members of society?

Original poster

TheTaupeMoose · 15/04/2025 21:58

SolielMoonSky · 15/04/2025 21:51

Who ever says parenting doesn’t matter? 🤔

Fair point, most people would agree that parenting matters in general. But when it comes to serious outcomes, like a child becoming violent or criminal, there’s often a reluctance to suggest how they were raised might have played a role. People rush to blame “society,” peer pressure, or schools but rarely talk honestly about home life unless it’s extremely obvious. I just think we should be able to say that parenting can be a contributing factor without it being seen as heartless or oversimplified.

OP posts:

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/04/2025 21:58

TheTaupeMoose · 15/04/2025 21:56

I’m not claiming to know every situation - of course there are exceptions and life is complex. But I do think it’s fair to say that parenting does play a significant role in shaping behaviour, boundaries, and emotional regulation. It’s not about blaming parents for everything, it’s about acknowledging that the home environment and how children are raised can have a long-term impact, especially when it comes to things like violence or criminal choices. That doesn’t mean it’s only the parent’s fault but saying they have no influence? That feels just as unreasonable.

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Ok,you’ve identified what you consider the problem.what you going to do about it?
whats your intervention? How do you measure its efficacy?

Original poster

TheTaupeMoose · 15/04/2025 21:56

Semana · 15/04/2025 21:49

For heaven’s sake, how on earth would you know?

I’m not claiming to know every situation - of course there are exceptions and life is complex. But I do think it’s fair to say that parenting does play a significant role in shaping behaviour, boundaries, and emotional regulation. It’s not about blaming parents for everything, it’s about acknowledging that the home environment and how children are raised can have a long-term impact, especially when it comes to things like violence or criminal choices. That doesn’t mean it’s only the parent’s fault but saying they have no influence? That feels just as unreasonable.

OP posts:

thorneyislanddoris · 15/04/2025 21:56

It’s always the parents fault.

Tallyrand · 15/04/2025 21:54

My 4YO bites and scratches me if I say no.

How long am I being sent in for?

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/04/2025 21:54

I’ve worked with multiple offenders and parental causation isn’t a component in assessment or treatment
Often,for perpetrator there’s trauma and social injustice eg poverty,discrimination etc
Looking to apportion blame isn’t as easy as blame the parents.
I’d say cast an eye on the systemic and social inequalities in our society. Consider why are so many offenders from lower socioeconomic groups?

SolielMoonSky · 15/04/2025 21:51

Who ever says parenting doesn’t matter? 🤔

FionnulaTheCooler · 15/04/2025 21:51

Sometimes neglect or abuse can be a factor but I also believe that some people are just born psychopathic and grow up to do awful things through no fault of their parents.

Zone2NorthLondon · 15/04/2025 21:49

propensity to crime isn’t genetic. It’s not transmitted in mitochondria

Semana · 15/04/2025 21:49

For heaven’s sake, how on earth would you know?