To think if your child ends up violent or criminal, it is partly your fault?

Of course, but what's the percentage? And I'm thinking about two boys of the same background (let's move them to Eton) one wises up, one doesn't.

Could you say more on this please? It sounds like you have both the experience and the academic framework to have a wide understanding of the issues.

What are the reasons you say that the more you learn, the less you blame the patents?

Ignoring the goady posts above, it's hard to escape the conclusion that the children of chaotic or poor parenting are probably proportionally slightly more likely to be involved in criminality that the children of steady, loving parenting.

What are the other factors and how far are they influential, from your experience?

Agree. My DH has ADHD but he's never done anything criminal. He's a very kind and gentle person with ADHD.

I'm not sure it's as black and white as that. People can commit violent and non violent crimes for a huge variety of reasons. I think parenting could be A contributing factor, in some cases. But there are a whole host of influences and circumstances that lead someone to commit a crime. Every touchpoint and event in a persons life could be a contributing factor that lead to the decision to commit the crime. There are also personality and phsychological issues at play.
There are plenty of families where one child is not a criminal and one child is. And they had the same upbringing.
And also what level of crime. Speeding is a crime, murder is a crime, financial fraud is a crime, stealing food to eat is a crime, murdering your abusive husband is a crime, burglary is a crime, stealing penny sweets is a crime.

Yes

I totally agree and well done you.

Also impulsivity and recklessness.

I’ve name changed for this. I do think parenting plays a role HOWEVER, I was raised by drug addicts and alcoholics. I saw violence every single day between my parents on both sides. I saw drug use, abuse of alcohol. Police on our doorstep multiple times a month. I went to school, got good grades, went into a career, I’ve never taken drugs or been violent, I rarely touch alcohol and if I do it’s a glass of wine whilst having dinner out. My DH is the most gentle man and fantastic father. Our kids live in a peaceful, clean, calm and loving home and never go without love or food like I did. Statistically, I didn’t have luck on my side but I wanted different. I think personality plays a big role, I knew from a very young age that what was going on was wrong and knew I didn’t want to live like that when I had the choice.

You realise people from privileged backgrounds commit crimes and go to jail too?

Yes and no. I think a lot of antisocial and criminal behaviour can stem from neglect and abuse. However aren’t some people just natural born psychopaths? Not much that parents can do about that when they leave home.

There are socio-economic factors that will entwine though and skew figures. Young, poor, poorly educated teenagers are more likely to have children at too young an age. Possibly leading to unstable domestic lives and poor housing and economic situations. Leading to possibly poorly educated and unsupervised teenagers committing crimes.

The majority of all these people will wise up / grow up and get it together. Those that don't, go to prison where it starts to look like '100% of criminals come from shit backgrounds'.

Where is the difference between the two teenagers who shoplift together on the same estate? One becomes a plumber the other is in and out of prison always.

Re-read your initial post. That absolutely is what you stated. Yes you have tried to resile from that stark position in response to posters highlighting how absurd and wrongheaded your post was, but your initial position was clear.

In some cases of violent and/criminal behaviour bad parenting is a factor, of course. But literally no one believes otherwise. And that is very plainly not what you initially said.

You’ve clearly never had to ask for help for a child with SEN, or who is struggling in school, or whose behaviour doesn’t fit the ‘norm’. Parents are always blamed first.

Totally agree.

No, I agree, it doesn't cause criminality. I didn't mean to imply that.

You need one hell of a lot wider life experience @Perimenoanti . Really. Unless you're just trying to be goady. Come to think of it that's probably the case.

I don't work with the prison population and it's not an area I claim any expertise in.

The past is relevant but getting stuck in that doesn't help anyone move forward. It's most useful for understanding present patterns.

The reality is some kids are abused and do really well in life. Others are not abused and do badly. And a mix of all that.

I've also heard plenty of people say these things are the parents' fault and their little darlings will never have x issue because they have it so good, only to find out later their little darlings have x issue and maybe there are other factors at play after all.

I'm very interested in the field of epigenetics and I think that is going to contribute a lot of understanding these things more productively.

You don't know that as you and your sister didn't have the same parents. I know you will come at me now, but as a sibling you have no idea and are probably biased or likely to carry some denial..it's incredibly difficult to recognise that your own parents may have played a part.

Yes, ADHD is associated with anxiety and depression
However ADHD doesn’t cause criminality . It’s not cause and effect

I suppose you know that trauma lives in the body and nervous system and focusing on the present will never fully address that, especially if you continue that trauma in adulthood . It's better to face the reality of a shit childhood and move on from there.

See I was badly abused too. It didn't make me a criminal but I can see how just 10pc more abuse might have made a drug addict out of me or I would have had such major issues regulating that I might have become very violent.

Thats literally how it goes.

So you say many prisoners had a wonderful childhood with average parents?

ADHD, especially when undiagnosed, often leads to anxiety and depression.

The title of your thread suggests 'always'. As we learned on the very first day of university on our very first year - if you say 'always' or 'never', you're probably wrong.

That’s a whole other statement and the ADHD isn’t causation of criminality
ADHD is a neurodevelopment disorder not a mental illness

My sister has absolutely catastrophic mental health issues. On the correct medication, she's fine, but without it she's paranoid, delusional, has auditory and visual hallucinations, and gets extremely violent. Before she got properly diagnosed, she was in constant trouble, couldn't hold down a job and could start a fight with an empty room.

Absolutely no parental fault there at all.