Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

P E teacher. Please help.

237 replies

Chickencuddle · 15/04/2025 21:42

I phoned in today about my daughter being denied her inhaler during PE. I asked to speak to head of pastoral care. But I got a phone call back from PEt teacher who flat out denied and basically said my dd is lying. She also said she wasn't working hard enough to be out of breath or even breaking a sweat. I said this didn't matter and she needs her inhaler. She said she didn't say she needed her inhaler.
I felt so bad and actually considered if my dd had lied although would be so so out of character for her. I spoke to dd who was shocked and upset about what the PE teacher had said. She insured me she was telling the truth and said her friend had been with her and also she had spoken to a classroom assistant after teacher told her she couldn't get it telling her what teacher had said and classroom assistant said if she didn't feel better soon she had her permission to go get it. But she told me she jyst dealt with the breathlessness and got her inhaler after PE.

Teacher mentioned that changing rooms are 10 minutes away from hall and that dd has never brought her inhaler. I said maybe that could be mentioned that next time she brings it with her. She said that needs to be something I tell her as she has enough kids to deal with. I said that's fine but I wasn't to know it was so far away. I'm only just hearing that now. Also why is she telling me this if dd actually didn't ask?

She has said mean things to dd before denied her toilet which I had to phone for. I didn't want this to be a big thing just wanted PE teacher to let dd use inhaler. But now feels like a big thing and feel like I have to clear dds name as head of year bas spoken to PE reacher and obviouslt believes this as she told her to ohone me i assume.. I believe dd. the details and things she was saying and way she was saying it. Plus I phoned friends mum and explained and asked to speak to her dd. Her dd said exactly what mine said.

What do I do now?

OP posts:
Pippyls67 · 17/04/2025 18:52

Teacher is in error but was most likely a genuine mistake. She hears these excuses all day every day relentlessly and it makes her job extremely difficult. She’s back tracking now to avoid legal repercussions. You won’t get her to agree with you as it could lead to litigation. She’s not in the right I agree and it’s a crap situation. You absolutely must insist your Ds has her inhaler at all times going forward. It’s something you’ll need to almost train her to be constantly conscious of. The teacher won’t take responsibility for reminding her individually although I would suggest they remind the whole group before leaving the changing rooms. That’s perfectly doable.

Swishytwip · 17/04/2025 18:45

I don't understand why so many parents buy into this false idea that anyone has authority over their own bodily autonomy - and pass this lie onto their children.
If your daughter needs medicine and is being denied it, tell her to just go and get it. Then support her if the teacher/school make a fuss.
'Never be too scared to look after your own health', is a more important lesson, imo, than 'be a good little girl'.
I don't agree with the pp who thinks we should just accept injustice/unfairness as a part of life.

Hagr1d · 17/04/2025 18:35

As a teacher, this one sounds like an idiot. It could potentially turn into a life threatening situation. I would never risk that with my pupils.

Also, people are being too harsh on an 11 year old who has been newly diagnosed.

Sandflea9900 · 17/04/2025 18:31

Chickencuddle · 15/04/2025 22:11

Having asthma is new to her. She had pneumonia and this is the result of it. She is struggling alot. Yes I've spoken to school and they are aware.
I understand and will talk to dd about keeping inhaler on hwe which she is very good at doing everywhere else. I think she just didn't think she could carry it in PE.
Also doesn't change the fact she should have been allowed to go get it.

OP I had the same as your DD. Feel free to PM me if needed.

Original poster
Chickencuddle · 17/04/2025 18:20

Thanks everyone think it's sorted.
The reason I said what do I do next is that I didn't feel it was resolved. There was no plan in place PE teacher was very defensive and didn't speak about what would happen in future. It was all over the phone.
Was good timing that they broke up for Easter today and we had parent teacher meetings. (We are NI)
Spoke to head of year who was aware and got a crystal clear asthma plan for her that she said she would make sure all teachers are aware. I also advised about her having spoken to classroom assistant and head of year reassured her if anyone tells you you cannot get your inhaler you just go getnit anyway.
I said she would take it with her to PE in future.
I spoke to PE teacher who was obviously trying to butter us up she had a sheet of grades in front of her. We saw my dds was a C but she covered the sheet with another page and told me she had an A. She was so over the top complimentary. Obviously knows she has messed up. I said dd would have inhaler with her at all times and she said she would keep it in her pocket for her. PE teacher didn't actually mention the incident and neither did I as I felt like it was sorted now anyway and wanted to leave on good terms.
Hopefully all sorted now anyway. Going to take dd back to doctors too just to get some clarity from them.

OP posts:
Witchymadwoman · 17/04/2025 18:07

“Teacher mentioned that changing rooms are 10 minutes away from hall”

That’s half a mile! Surely some exaggeration here.

Jumpers4goalposts · 17/04/2025 18:05

Request a face to face meeting with the Head of PE and take DD with you.

Willyoujust · 17/04/2025 18:04

Not sure what you mean by “What do I do now?”

Why do you need to do anything else? You’ve explained to the teacher that you’re not happy and told your daughter to ensure she has her inhaler with her for P.E.

Just move on?

ThesebeautifulthingsthatIvegot · 17/04/2025 06:43

RareGoalsVerge · 17/04/2025 06:07

Surely the point is that if a child really needs their inhaler then dispatching them for a solo 20-minute round trip to go and fetch it is a criminally irresponsible thing to do. Either the situation is serious enough that medical treatment should be supplied right there in the gym hall with the child not needing to move, requing mobilisation of as many adults as necessary to provide the treatment needed on the spot, calling an ambulance if the adults on site can't sort out treatment - OR it's not actually that serious in which case no action is necessary. There is no grey area in between where sending the child off for 20 minutes while the PE teacher continues to run the lesson for the rest of the class is an appropriate outcome.

@Chickencuddle I suggest you get your DD a stretchy belt like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fitness-colours-Workouts-Exercise-Activities/dp/B01H0FXKVS/ which can be worn under her sports kit and can keep her inhaler with her during PE.

That's ridiculous. Asthma is not allowed or nothing.

A peer could have been sent to get her inhaler. It could have relieved her tightness of breath and reduced her discomfort.

However, it's not clear that dd asked directly. Did she maybe say "I need to go to the changing room" and therefore the teacher rightly said no?

There are explanations to this situation that neither involve a child or adult lying.

RareGoalsVerge · 17/04/2025 06:07

Surely the point is that if a child really needs their inhaler then dispatching them for a solo 20-minute round trip to go and fetch it is a criminally irresponsible thing to do. Either the situation is serious enough that medical treatment should be supplied right there in the gym hall with the child not needing to move, requing mobilisation of as many adults as necessary to provide the treatment needed on the spot, calling an ambulance if the adults on site can't sort out treatment - OR it's not actually that serious in which case no action is necessary. There is no grey area in between where sending the child off for 20 minutes while the PE teacher continues to run the lesson for the rest of the class is an appropriate outcome.

@Chickencuddle I suggest you get your DD a stretchy belt like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fitness-colours-Workouts-Exercise-Activities/dp/B01H0FXKVS/ which can be worn under her sports kit and can keep her inhaler with her during PE.

KillerTomato7 · 17/04/2025 01:25

And more generally, those of you who would refuse to allow a child to go and get their inhaler in this situation should probably not be trusted to safeguard children.

The choice between risking a child dying from an asthma, and risking a child bunking off a lesson, does not present a serious dilemma for functioning adults.

KillerTomato7 · 17/04/2025 01:19

KittyPup · 15/04/2025 22:36

Your next steps are to parent your child. You’ve spoken to the teacher - she has a different take on the situation to the 11 year old. What’s done is done…your daughter will now take responsibility and make sure she has the inhaler. The fact that you rang the other parent to get the statement from another 11 year old speaks volumes. Email the teacher to say dd will have it on her at all
times going forward and will use it as and when she sees fit. Why do you need next steps? What exactly do you hope to achieve? It’s as if you have nothing better to do and must prove a point to make sure you feel better and that your dd is somehow vindicated. Just move on.

Sorry, but you don't "agree to disagree" when it comes to whether a child with asthma gets to access their inhaler. So what's done would not, in fact, be done until the teacher understood the possible consequences of her actions, and agreed that it would never happen again. If that agreement was not forthcoming, then it would be time for a formal complaint.

Yes, in an ideal world, the 11 year old child should remember to bring their inhaler. No, they should not be punished with suffocation if they forget to do so. They should just be allowed to go and get it.

nocoolnamesleft · 16/04/2025 23:36

Overhaul54 · 16/04/2025 23:26

It actually doesn’t matter who was “lying” as it was never the issue. The child is fine and didn’t need the inhaler. Teaching staff all now know DD is to carry it round in future. It’s sorted.
The only problem is of the mothers intransigence.

Show quote history

Just because the child is alive and not in hospital does not necessarily mean they didn't need the inhaler at the time.

Overhaul54 · 16/04/2025 23:26

Nominative · 16/04/2025 22:47

Why assume that all teachers always tell the truth, and all children lie? Demonstrably teachers are at least as fallible as anyone else.

Show quote history

It actually doesn’t matter who was “lying” as it was never the issue. The child is fine and didn’t need the inhaler. Teaching staff all now know DD is to carry it round in future. It’s sorted.
The only problem is of the mothers intransigence.

Nominative · 16/04/2025 22:47

Newmumhere40 · 16/04/2025 21:57

This!! Unfortunately parents believe the lying little darlings.

Show quote history

Why assume that all teachers always tell the truth, and all children lie? Demonstrably teachers are at least as fallible as anyone else.

oustedbymymate · 16/04/2025 22:46

The bit I don't get is...what do you want to achieve now?

Does the teacher;

  1. let DD walk off for 20 mins unsupervised with a 'life threatening condition potentially having an asthma attack'
  2. take all 30 plus kids back to changing rooms
  3. assess the situation given profession judgement and make a professional call?

It's a literal no win situation.

The teacher rang you and not the HOY as it was an issue with their lesson.

So you think that DD should have been allowed to get inhaler which she forgot. Fair enough. The teacher has asked you to remind DD to bring it next time. They will teacher over 500 kids a week. It is not their responsibility to remind your child. It's is your responsibility to help DD manage her condition better. Get a spare write her name on it and give it to teacher. Job done.

Newmumhere40 · 16/04/2025 22:02

BCBird · 16/04/2025 06:24

This is not good. Changing rooms would be locked. Was there another member of staff to accompany your daughter?

I'm sure there were, schools have an abundance of staff at the moment.

Newmumhere40 · 16/04/2025 21:57

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 11:35

I was a teacher , the amount of unfounded complaints I had from parents saying I hadn't allowed them to go to the toilet? Have life saving medication, showed discrimination etc etc etc. Bon of which were true. The just wanted to get out of lessons or detention. I'm not saying this is true in your child's case but I find it very hard to believe that s teacher would prevent use of an inhaler ...there will I suspect be each more to this

This!! Unfortunately parents believe the lying little darlings.

Newmumhere40 · 16/04/2025 21:55

Chickencuddle · 15/04/2025 22:39

I think it's important to stand up for yourself. She is a child and I'm not going to teach her that this is OK.
Also she's been branded a liar. That will have an effect on how all the other teachers see her. I didn't need it to be a complaint or have teacher brought to justice or whatever but feel like now I need to clear dds name. She was really upset at the the teacher lying and putting blame on her.
On the phone I hadn't spoke to dd yet so I said I was sorry and would talk to dd. Now I feel annoyed at myself for not sticking up for her.

Clear her name? She hasn't been arrested. Honestly some parents 🙄

The teacher is there to teach not to run around getting inhalers.

Newmumhere40 · 16/04/2025 21:51

Unless your DD is under age 7 I would expect her to bring her inhaler. Why is it up to the teacher?

sarahjaneg · 16/04/2025 21:46

I keep having issues with our pe teachers.. my daughter was told by her paediatric consultant to avoid exercise whilst undergoing tests...
I had written proof, also phoned the school and told them verbally.
Pe teacher then ordered my daughter to join in with pe or be sent to isolation.
She joined in..
I was livid, I mean I understand what some posters are saying and I'm sure they are a million excuses given, but that doesn't mean this "guilty until proven otherwise" is a good idea..I asked to see the teachers medical certificates to prove she knew better than a qualified practitioner, obviously told there wasn't one, I then threatened to take it further if it ever happened again.. luckily it hasn't..

nocoolnamesleft · 16/04/2025 18:09

Chickencuddle · 16/04/2025 08:56

Tbh debating whether she had a wheeze or not is just pointless. I'm not a doctor all I know is what I've been told. She will sometimes be wheezy this time she wasn't.

Often the wheeze can only be heard using a stethoscope. Sometimes the asthma is so severe that they're not moving enough air to generate a wheeze. In a child who is known to have reactive airways, and been issued with an inhaler, it should be used according to their wheeze management plan. When I write a WMP I make much more reference to shortness of breath than wheeze, as it is easier for the child to tell.

Tulipvase · 16/04/2025 13:05

sashh · 16/04/2025 12:19

Some RC schools still close for holy days of obligation, if they do then half term can be just 2 days.

Show quote history

Yes mine did (a long time ago) and it was also a private school so longer holidays any way.

I’m struggling to remember how it used to work as surely the may half term must be pretty rigid in its timing due to exams? In England at least.

Riaanna · 16/04/2025 12:30

Maddy70 · 16/04/2025 11:35

I was a teacher , the amount of unfounded complaints I had from parents saying I hadn't allowed them to go to the toilet? Have life saving medication, showed discrimination etc etc etc. Bon of which were true. The just wanted to get out of lessons or detention. I'm not saying this is true in your child's case but I find it very hard to believe that s teacher would prevent use of an inhaler ...there will I suspect be each more to this

It will have been “you can’t go to the changing room” no doubt.

sashh · 16/04/2025 12:19

Tulipvase · 16/04/2025 09:34

Are they? They are all closed here. I appreciate dates do fluctuate a bit but I can’t see how you manage to fit in a half term in May if they haven’t broken up yet. Unless they have been off already. It would end up with a very short term either way.

Show quote history

Some RC schools still close for holy days of obligation, if they do then half term can be just 2 days.