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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed at work colleagues

368 replies

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 15/04/2025 19:53

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

OP posts:
Motheranddaughter · 15/04/2025 22:12

In some offices I know of this is not allowed

Rollofrockandsand · 15/04/2025 22:12

I can’t imagine any situation where I would consider sponsoring a colleagues child’s nursery event. I’m amazed you even asked. Why would they have the remotest interest in contributing

PurpleChrayn · 15/04/2025 22:11

I would never ask work colleagues to contribute to something like this. I’m actually mortified for you.

Therealjudgejudy · 15/04/2025 22:10

YABVU.

So much so, im cringing for you

Purpleturtle43 · 15/04/2025 22:09

I would only ask close family for that sort of thing. It sounds like you have a lot of colleagues, imagine if everyone's child did a sponsored thing and asked everyone for donate, you would never stop.

TheChosenTwo · 15/04/2025 22:08

I’m embarrassed that you took your dcs sponsorship form for an egg hunt TO WORK!
That’s something that I’d just have bunged some money towards myself and not thought about again.
Worthy cause or not, if I donated to every worthy cause not only on behalf of my family, friends and colleagues BUT also their children that came about I’d probably not have a roof over my own head.
Where do you draw the line? I’d not have donated either and I’m actually still a bit shocked that you did this!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 15/04/2025 22:08

I don't think you're going to sway people's opinions, and your but but but messages are just cementing the fact that you are as far from reasonable as it's possible to be.

If you're worried about looking bad just put your own money in instead of trying to spend other people's.

Brefugee · 15/04/2025 22:07

Oh dear OP. First child? Do yourself a favour: never do this again.

Nobody at your place of work is interested in sponsoring your child. For anything. Ever.

RawBloomers · 15/04/2025 22:06

The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

I should bloody well hope you wouldn’t dream of asking people at work to straight up give your child money or to pay for your nursery! Why is this even coming to mind?

If you want to donate to Claire House, then do so. And the people at work can donate to whatever charities they support. YABU to be annoyed at them unless you have frequently donated money for sponsored events they have done. In which case I would be disappointed in them too, but there’s nothing you can do about it at this point. Just don’t reciprocate in the future.

ViolasandViolets · 15/04/2025 22:06

YABVVVU to raise this at work. I hope you don’t have supervisory/management responsibility over anyone.

KaToby · 15/04/2025 22:05

There’s only one reason you’re looking like a dickhead here and it isn’t your colleagues…

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 15/04/2025 22:04

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 15/04/2025 20:00

We (the parents) are contributing ourselves too, we were not expecting people to if we were not doing it ourselves

But she's your child.
You care about your child. Your colleagues do not. They have other things to care about/spend their money on.

Galdownunder · 15/04/2025 22:03

Completely inappropriate to even consider asking colleagues to join in something for your child’s nursery. How cringe! Bet you’re one of those parents that think you’re the first person to have a kid too.

TheAmusedQuail · 15/04/2025 22:02

noctilucentcloud · 15/04/2025 19:59

I would never think of sending something like this to my work colleagues, it's definitely a close family thing only.

Definitely this. You can put it on your social media or Whatsapp friends/family, but not at work. Possibly a couple of colleagues you're very friendly with, but even that is pushing it a bit.

It's inappropriate. And you should have NO expectation that anyone needs to contribute. If you want to contribute a good amount, be prepared to fund it yourself.

bouncydog · 15/04/2025 22:02

Where I worked forbade all sponsorship requests as we knew that staff might feel pressured into giving something they couldn’t afford or didn’t want to for various reasons. Nobody knows an individuals circumstances so YABVU in expecting people to sponsor your child.

Zanatdy · 15/04/2025 22:00

Always a lot of pressure at work to donate to things. I’ve donated £50 in the last 6wks on flowers for bereavements. I couldn’t afford to sponsor the child of a colleague, nor would I ask colleagues to sponsor my child.

Sendhelp101 · 15/04/2025 22:00

Sorry you are being unreasonable you have no idea people's circumstances, I've been scraping by the last few months and literally wouldn't even £5 spare but would feel embarssed to tell my colleagues.

howdoyoudooooo · 15/04/2025 21:59

Oh dear OP 😂

Nobody asks their work colleagues for sponsorship for their kids’ nursery and school things. YABVU, it really wasn’t appropriate and nothing like a retirement collection! 😂 Never mind, lesson learned and you’ll get over it. Hopefully people will forget about it.

Next time just put down your own names and maybe grandparents and aunties/uncles etc and stick the money in the envelope yourself. Or your child can ask grandparents etc but only close family, and it would still be normal for you to quietly put the money in on their behalf.

DancingDucks · 15/04/2025 21:58

noctilucentcloud · 15/04/2025 19:59

I would never think of sending something like this to my work colleagues, it's definitely a close family thing only.

Likewise, I never did this. Your colleagues should not be expected to donate to this, it's ridiculous.

Alwaystired23 · 15/04/2025 21:55

Yabu. I think you're massively overthinking this. It's really not important to them. If you came up to me and asked me, I'd give you a £1 or 2 there and then, but I wouldn't be making it a priority to be finding you to give you the money, ir making sure I'm bringing it in. Life is busy for people, they're not going to care about your child's nursery trying to raise money.

Luckypinkduck · 15/04/2025 21:55

It wouldn't be the done thing at my work and I wouldn't ask. Maybe close work friends if they were the sort to ask to see photos but probably not.
Stick to close family and just donate yourself (you could split it up for the child like mummy £10, Daddy £10, The dog £2)

AubreysMonkey · 15/04/2025 21:55

I'd happily sponsor a colleague doing something out of their comfort zone but not a colleague's kid's Easter egg hunt! Sorry.

ChickenBananas · 15/04/2025 21:53

I wouldn't want to spend money on sponsoring my own child for that absolute bollocks @justanotherimperfectmum2025 never mind someone I just happen to work with

Hotflushesandchilblains · 15/04/2025 21:53

I hate shit like this at work. You are massively out of line for expecting anything from colleagues.

Bestfootforward11 · 15/04/2025 21:52

I think the issue is more why you feel you will be judged by other parents or the nursery and why it matters what they think. That’s the thing to reflect on and work through.
Re your colleagues not sponsoring, there are many reasons why they may not have sponsored: no money, forgot, not a priority in their working day, give money to other charities…etc. I did a sponsored run once and only a few of my close friends sponsored me and my brother said it was ‘only’ 5k 😂 …it really is no biggie unless you make it one.