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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed at work colleagues

368 replies

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 15/04/2025 19:53

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 15/04/2025 20:09

It would never occur to me to take that form into work - and I’ve been there 15 years and have close friends there. Just no. No one else would either.

this kind of thing is basically parents and grandparents. £20 sounds pretty decent tbh, if it were me we’d be putting in a tenner and then adding grandparents names and another tenner on their behalf!

BreakfastClubBlues · 15/04/2025 20:09

You can't ask work colleagues for things like this 🤣
If you don't want to look cheap stick your hand in your own pocket- not your colleagues'.

NeringaCS · 15/04/2025 20:09

If the egg hunt was raising money for a local kid with leukaemia to get treatment abroad, and the whole community was pitching in, I might sponsor them. But I wouldn’t do it for a charity I could just choose to donate to myself.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/04/2025 20:09

You are being really unreasonable and entitled. It’s not even you doing it, it’s your kid, and you expect money from people at work. You’re lucky you got 2 people signed up!

NowYouSee · 15/04/2025 20:08

Gently Op give your head a wobble. Send your kid in with an 5 or 10 note and that’s the end of it.

TeenLifeMum · 15/04/2025 20:08

wtf, I’m supposed to sponsor work colleagues’ kids?! I have my own. I’ll donate occasionally to someone at work who I actually know doing a marathon, the colleague whose daughter died of leukaemia and she runs fundraising events and the colleague with 5 years to live doing a charity parachute jump; I’ve also done a parachute jump and wing walking for charity, but you want me to feel bad for not sponsoring a 4yo (who literally won’t care) doing an egg hunt? Are you actually serious?

Ceebeegee · 15/04/2025 20:07

I wouldn't have donated. Sorry, but with the amount of donations I feel obliged to do at work for colleagues leaving gifts, birthday gifts, maternity leave/new baby gifts, plus their own charity fun runs etc , I'm done.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 15/04/2025 20:06

This is really inappropriate to ask work colleagues.

NeringaCS · 15/04/2025 20:06

A sponsored egg hunt? Seriously? It’s hardly climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.

MammaTo · 15/04/2025 20:05

YABU, politely. I think your post comes across as being very insecure about your perceived “social position” rather than the actual sponsoring for charity.

Dueanamechange2025 · 15/04/2025 20:05

I’m guessing as you’ve just come back from Mat Leave this is your first sponsor request. You will get lots of these over the next 10 years! People pick and choose which to do and only tend to ask family.

Trovindia · 15/04/2025 20:05

YABU. I don't sponsor anyone for anything, let alone colleagues.

Misfiteverywhere · 15/04/2025 20:05

There’s no way anyone would have sponsored it where I work and it’s frowned on to bring the forms in, in the first place. We all have our own charities to support. If this is yours, you sponsor it. Bad form to ask anyone else, especially work colleagues.

Whaleandsnail6 · 15/04/2025 20:05

Yabu.

I wouldn't sponsor a colleagues child, sorry but it just isn't a priority for me and I have lots of stuff with my own kids schools/supporting charities that I already give to

And imo its not comparable to a giving to a colleagues retirement collection at all

I used to just bunk a tenner in for my kids sponsored stuff and add names of my family members to the form but just pay the money myself , wouldnt have occurred to ask people at work, I just dont think its the done thing (or it isnt anywhere I have worked)

Overthebow · 15/04/2025 20:04

People aren’t going to sponsor your DC, especially when they aren’t even doing something for it (an Easter egg hunt isn’t something sponsorable). Don’t be that person who brings in sponsorship forms for every little thing, they’re supposed to be a bit of fun for close family, not work colleagues.

IDontHateRainbows · 15/04/2025 20:04

I hate this kind of shit at work. Really intrusive. I'd have ignored it too.

Squirrelblanket · 15/04/2025 20:03

You are unreasonable. This is not a work thing at all.

tillytoodles1 · 15/04/2025 20:03

I used to hate all the local kids knocking and asking for sponsorship. I felt really tight, but my family were asking at the same time and maybe £5 isn't a lot to some, but having about five kids, plus my own nieces and nephews asking, it soon mounts up.

Pricelessadvice · 15/04/2025 20:03

I give to a group of my chosen charities every month via standing order. I don’t sponsor people for things and would ignore this request.
Sorry OP, but you are being unreasonable. I find sponsored things a real pain.

Glowingwords · 15/04/2025 20:03

People get asked too much. Ask relatives eg granny and uncle and do a swap with a friend. That's enough for a nursery thing.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 15/04/2025 20:02

Christ, how utterly cringe.

Imagine begging your colleagues for money during a CoLC.

They’re there to earn money. Not give it away!

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/04/2025 20:02

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 15/04/2025 20:00

We (the parents) are contributing ourselves too, we were not expecting people to if we were not doing it ourselves

But you shouldn’t be expecting anyone to contribute.

If they wanted to then they’d be capable of googling the charity and bunging them some money even with no event.

Didimum · 15/04/2025 20:02

justanotherimperfectmum2025 · 15/04/2025 20:00

We (the parents) are contributing ourselves too, we were not expecting people to if we were not doing it ourselves

Why on earth should work colleagues do this?

Bearhunt468 · 15/04/2025 20:02

Sorry you'll get lots of these sponsorship things throughout nursery and school to either raise money for charity or school. Most people just sponsor their own child and usually grandparents or aunts and uncles and that's enough. I wouldn't ever ask my work colleagues to sponsor my child for something within nursery or school. Your making this much bigger than it needs to be!

PinataHeeHaw · 15/04/2025 20:02

l look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid.

I didn't see this at first read of the OP, but it makes you come across as quite unlikeable OP. Perhaps your colleagues see you as harsh and unlikeable?