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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
WhatMummyMakesSheEats · 16/04/2025 21:28

I would usually have some sort of antibacterial hand soap, I wouldn’t want to wash the rest of my body with that as I’d fear it would be too strong? So you don’t have anything on the sink for people to wash their hands with? I wouldn’t want to help myself to someone else’s shower gel but I also wouldn’t want to not wash my hands.

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 21:26

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:58

No, not “somewhere”. I told her where to look.

But there wasn’t actually SOAP where you told her SOAP would be…..give me patience!!

Olderbutt · 16/04/2025 21:17

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 19:03

Maybe you could have said, ‘just use the shower gel’.

This!

LillyPJ · 16/04/2025 21:09

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 12:05

I can’t believe you think the difference between a wine glass and a mug is the same as the (lack of) difference between liquid soap and shower gel.

There was no mention of 'liquid' in the OP. For 'soap', I'd assume 'bar soap' so I understand why the friend was confused. Like a wine glass and a mug, they serve the same purpose but are used for different things.

Reallyyyyyy · 16/04/2025 21:03

If there was no soap and I saw shower gel, I would have used that tbh.

LillyPJ · 16/04/2025 21:02

HamptonPlace · 16/04/2025 13:26

do people still use 'bar soap'? Seems very victorian...

Yes, I do. I like bar soap but don't use it in the shower.

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 21:02

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:54

You sound a bit obsessed with germs. You should speak to someone.

I'm not. And I'm fine. You started the thread to get confirmation you are not weird. You've been told you are by many and now you are coming on me?

LillyPJ · 16/04/2025 21:01

Soap, technically, is different and I understand what she was asking for. But shower gel does the same job so she could just have used that instead.

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:58

No, not “somewhere”. I told her where to look.

OP posts:
Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 20:55

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:43

When it was literally the only thing there? It wouldn’t occur to you?

But you told her there was soap somewhere in the bathroom when she asked so that’s what she was looking out for….. because you told her it was there,

why would she consider the shower gel when there was (supposedly) soap in there somewhere

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:54

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:50

Just tell me you used shower gel at Covid times. And you were probably sanitising your hands with shower gel at shops, hospitals, wherever you went at that time.
Your friend understands what soap means and what be used for. You clearly don't.

Edited

You sound a bit obsessed with germs. You should speak to someone.

OP posts:
Helen483 · 16/04/2025 20:51

Well I'm amazed at 83% of the posts here. 😄

Of course shower gel is (liquid) soap - what else do you think it is? Shower gel / bath gel / hand wash ... it's all the same stuff isn't it?

I prefer solid soap myself tbh. But either way, I do think she was quite rude about it.

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:50

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:45

She probably smeared her hands with shit right beforehand. Just as part of her plot to poison me with germs 🦠🦠🦠

Just tell me you used shower gel at Covid times. And you were probably sanitising your hands with shower gel at shops, hospitals, wherever you went at that time.
Your friend understands what soap means and what be used for. You clearly don't.

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:48

ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:12

Technically it is it’s just in different forms

soap is a solid bar and shower gel is just a liquid version

Absolutely not. Soap is soap, meant to removed germs, either solid or liquid. Shower gel is to remove dirt and oil from the skin, not antibacterial. Did you wash your hands with shower gel at Covid times?

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:45

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:42

She just needs to press it. But shower gel you probably need to hold, open and close. So much more touching. You are really one hard one, aren't you?? Keep on telling us how wrong we all are, not admitting that you just don't want to understand the point.

She probably smeared her hands with shit right beforehand. Just as part of her plot to poison me with germs 🦠🦠🦠

OP posts:
JayJayj · 16/04/2025 20:44

I wouldn’t have even asked! I would have just looked seen the shower gel and used it.

I honestly can’t believe how many people think you are the strange one here!! Shower gel is soap in a bottle!!!

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:43

Shmee1988 · 16/04/2025 20:30

This is a bit nuts. When we are little we are taught to wash our hands with 'soap and water' not shower gel and water. Doesn't everyone have a little hand soap pump or bar of soap on the sink for hand washing? It would never ever occur to me that you meant to remove the 'shower gel' from the bath and use it as 'soap'. Sorry OP, I do think YABU on this one.

When it was literally the only thing there? It wouldn’t occur to you?

OP posts:
Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:42

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:38

Well how would it be any more hygienic for her to touch my soap dispenser?

She just needs to press it. But shower gel you probably need to hold, open and close. So much more touching. You are really one hard one, aren't you?? Keep on telling us how wrong we all are, not admitting that you just don't want to understand the point.

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:40

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

Antibacterial ingredients. Remember Covid? Did you use shower gel or antibacterial soap and hand sanitiser?

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 20:38

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 16/04/2025 20:35

Well if your guest had just had a poo would you really want them picking up something you keep your shower gel in with currently unwashed hands? Obviously we know you would be fine with that, but most people wouldn't because.... hygiene..

Edited

Well how would it be any more hygienic for her to touch my soap dispenser?

OP posts:
OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 16/04/2025 20:35

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:03

Well, liquid soap. But it’s pretty much the same thing.

Can I ask those of you saying you’d never wash your hands with shower gel why it’s different to using it on the rest of your body?

Well if your guest had just had a poo would you really want them picking up something you keep your shower gel in with currently unwashed hands? Obviously we know you would be fine with that, but most people wouldn't because.... hygiene..

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:34

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 16/04/2025 20:13

If somebody doesn't choose to prioritise being able to wash their hands after using the toilet in their home - never once thinking to pick up a bottle or two of handwash or bars of soap to keep ready during any of numerous trips to the supermarket over a month or two (unless they're also too disorganised to ever buy any food either) - I guess that's their lookout.

Presumably such a person would be equally too disorganised to ever think to buy toilet paper or toothpaste and would have to find an alternative solution for those too (or otherwise just go without)?

What would they do if they were similarly too disorganised/not bothered to buy any shower gel either? Grim.

Edited

I don't think it's only down to be disorganised. I thought Covid had taught us all how important washing our hands is. And with antibacterial soap, of course. You would assume that we learned the lesson. Looks like some still didn't.

BloodyHellBob · 16/04/2025 20:33

@SplodgePocketI’ve read your OP and voted and was amazed that apparently you were being unreasonable! I have this vision of a little empty liquid soap dispenser and a bottle of shower gel being the only things in your bathroom and your poor friend wailing at the absence of any soap or even soap-like product, bless her! Won’t you think of the bum bacteria?!

Your friend is clearly a bit mad (in my humble opinion) and you’re not being unreasonable.

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 20:32

Doesn't everyone have a little hand soap pump or bar of soap on the sink for hand washing?
Yep, pretty much everyone. Including OP.

Mayana1 · 16/04/2025 20:31

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

I actually don't use shower gel to wash my hands. Soap has antibacterial ingredients and having very dry hands I sometimes use the moisturising soap. I would not use shower gel either. Just don't feel comfortable touching someone else's shower gel. I wouldn't like someone would touch mine also.