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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:20

GreenWheat · 15/04/2025 19:10

Most people have soap or hand-wash by the basin. Whilst there isn't much difference between soap and shower gel in terms of ingredients, most people wouldn't expect to go into someone's shower to access hand-wash. It's much more normal to have them separate, it's you who's unusual here.

How many times - she wasn’t expected to do that. I did not expect her to guess by divine inspiration.

Once again:

There is a dispenser on the sink. It must have run out, so I said there was some behind the shower screen. Once I’d said it, she knew where to look.

OP posts:
Puffalicious · 15/04/2025 19:20

I think it's rather remiss that you hadnt noticed the soap had run out when you have a guest. I generally nip to the loo to check it's clean/ towel is fresh/ soap is there when folk have popped in. It's generally to check there's no skid-marks from my occasionally disgusting children, but other things checked too 😄

Birchavalon · 15/04/2025 19:19

Shower gel is pretty molecularly identical to handwash and shampoo - a detergent. Soap work slightly differently but they both clean.
anyone who thinks they need different cleaning agents for different areas is under the spell of marketers.

Anonymousforthisthread · 15/04/2025 19:19

I'm team friend too.

BertieBottsEveryFlavourBeans · 15/04/2025 19:17

I can honestly say it has never occured to me to wash my hands with shower gel.

Pippinsdiary · 15/04/2025 19:17

LoopyLouLaLa · 15/04/2025 19:07

Your very odd OP.

Are you struggling for money in that you don’t have soap by the sink?

yeah it’s more or less the same thing, but I certainly wouldn’t think to use someone's shower gel as soap when I’ve used their loo…

Bit rude to call the OP odd isn’t it? I can understand the confusion but surely we’ve all used shower gel or washing up liquid as a soap alternative?

The OP has also stated as her friend was shouting for soap she presumed her dispenser had ran out…YOU are the odd one to suggest she’s struggling for money

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 15/04/2025 19:17

The mocking depends on their relationship really.

Some friends are quite argumentative and literal, so that's the way they talk to each other.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:17

OneAlertNavyAnt · 15/04/2025 19:15

It’s fine to wash your hands with shower gel, it’s basically the same thing. But there should be a dispenser on the sink so guests don’t have to use the one in your shower, that’s weird.

There IS a dispenser on the sink!!!!!

OP posts:
ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:16

Semana · 15/04/2025 19:03

I don’t think they do. They just think it’s weird that you lean in behind the shower screen to use shower gel to wash your hands. If sounds needlessly faffy.

No it doesn’t 😂😂

honestly some of these comments are sending me

I mean imagine thinking reaching behind a shower curtain to get something to wash your hands is a graft

ilovepixie · 15/04/2025 19:16

I’m sorry but you’re the weird one. Soap and shower gel are two different things

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:16

TheShiningCarpet · 15/04/2025 19:15

yeah but at least leave it on the sink so its accessible and people don't have to root through your stuff to find something to wash their hands!

For heaven’s sake, I have explained this. I wasn’t challenging her to a game of hunt the thimble! I just hadn’t realised the dispenser was empty!

OP posts:
Whitetruck · 15/04/2025 19:15

I think your "Here, see?" felt like you were mocking her for not understanding your not particularly clear directions, so she responded in kind.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:15

I get expensive molten brown or rituals shower gel as presents, I’d be a bit annoyed if guests took it from the shower and used it as hand soap when it’s over £20 a bottle.

No such luck 😄 Quid a bottle Radox!

OP posts:
TheShiningCarpet · 15/04/2025 19:15

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

yeah but at least leave it on the sink so its accessible and people don't have to root through your stuff to find something to wash their hands!

Suszieq · 15/04/2025 19:15

@SplodgePocket

im siding with your friend here.

when we wash our hands we’re using soap irrespective whether they’re the same ingredients. If you tell me soap is there, I won’t be looking for shower gel.

So yes, don’t think ur friend was in the wrong. Next time tell them to use the shower gel

gertrudebiggles · 15/04/2025 19:15

I'd never use someone else's shower gel. It just seems so weird.
Potentially also quite a bit more expensive?

Soap in the main bathroom is communal though.

I think I'd have done exactly what your friend did

BeaAndBen · 15/04/2025 19:15

I wouldn't jump to shower gel unless I hadn't be able to find soap anywhere.

If someone asked where the soap was, I'd say "I ran out, just use the shower gel!"

OneAlertNavyAnt · 15/04/2025 19:15

It’s fine to wash your hands with shower gel, it’s basically the same thing. But there should be a dispenser on the sink so guests don’t have to use the one in your shower, that’s weird.

Anonym00se · 15/04/2025 19:15

I’m imagining a thread like “My bff came round and asked to use the loo. She couldn’t find the soap so she helped herself to my luxurious shower gel that’s made out of powdered unicorn horns and was gifted to me by my dead grandmother. Is she a CF?”

Imbusytodaysorry · 15/04/2025 19:14

Ener · 15/04/2025 19:12

Don’t you have soap or errr shower gel near the basin? Why is it behind a curtain. Don’t you wash your hands after pissing/shitting?

This .

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:14

Are you struggling for money in that you don’t have soap by the sink?

Struggling for money?! 😆😆

Jesus, Mumsnet is barmy sometimes. I’d simply not realised the dispenser needed refilling.

OP posts:
SenselessDrivel · 15/04/2025 19:14

If you had no shower gel would you have told them to get the soap from the kitchen when you only had washing up liquid or washing powder/capsules?

My friend doesn’t have hand soap in her kitchen and just uses washing up liquid, we had a similar discussion when she just told me to use the “liquid soap”. I was looking for a liquid soap dispenser and it didn’t occur to me that she meant the fairy liquid! Yes they would both clean hands but I was looking for a specific thing.

I get expensive molten brown or rituals shower gel as presents, I’d be a bit annoyed if guests took it from the shower and used it as hand soap when it’s over £20 a bottle.

I see them all as different things with different uses despite them having similar ingredients, I’d assume everyone else does.

pizzaHeart · 15/04/2025 19:13

ApparentlySomeDo · 15/04/2025 19:03

I wouldn't have thought to use shower gel to wash my hands. But I also wouldn't have mocked you.

This ^ would be my reaction as well.
But I would definitely go away thinking “how odd” about you.

You should have said to her : “There is a bottle of shower gel behind the curtain”. Just to make it clear what you meant. The formula might be the same but I choose differently shower gel and soap so they won’t be interchangeable in my head.
By the way I wonder if her reaction was in response of you insisting that there was a soap it’s just she couldn’t find it.

ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:13

Ener · 15/04/2025 19:12

Don’t you have soap or errr shower gel near the basin? Why is it behind a curtain. Don’t you wash your hands after pissing/shitting?

She said it had ran out didn’t you read the post before you commented to make her feel stupid?

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:12

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 15/04/2025 19:09

It's not that shower gel isn't a soap for me - I'd just find it a bit weird to not have a hand wash by the sink rather than dripping water across the bathroom floor to reach behind the screen to get to the shower gel. My sink is a way from the bath and shower. I'd also feel a bit odd going through someone's bath products to wash my hands, but if you are fine with it then why not?

But it wasn’t a case of “Why isn’t it by the sink?” - I literally told her there was some behind the shower screen. My sink is right next to the bath anyway, so nowhere to trail water.

OP posts: