18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

Omg
Your partner (is he DSs dad?) Is going to 'pop in' to a restaurant where 2 people are having a meal??
Is he going to hide behind a potted palm and spy on them, or march straight to the table and say 'aye up, son, has she asked you for anything and are you scared?'&

Hello Auntie,

Thank you for the lunch invitation. Can you tell me what it is about and what do you want to talk about ?

Safeguarding. Do be serious he's 18 years old not 18 months old. He's been invited to lunch by a relative who's in her 60s./70s. What safeguarding exactly do you think is required???

Hello, Mysterious Relative!

I absolutely go with your son to the meeting and sit down face to face to hear what she has to say.

This is one meeting where if your son signs something or verbally agrees to something, there may be no turning back.

An 18 year old is not smart enough to understand the legal consequences of what he is signing. Often, it's not what is written that lands you in hot water as well.

Imagine if she presented your son with a cheque for 40,000 pounds there and then but if he doesn't take it, then he will have less. All he will see is the dollar signs.

WHERE IS THE EXECUTOR OF THE WILL ?
IF YOU SON IS A BENEFICIARY, WHY HAS THE EXECUTOR NOT CONTACTED YOU ?

AND

You don'[t know this woman. You really don't .

You are going there to protect your son's inheritance.
You don't owe this woman anything.

The other possibility is that there's a trust fund and she is a trustee. We had that on our wills, so none of our kids had access to cash without going through the trustees, until they were 25.
But I would actually like a parent present, just to be on the safe side.

My concern would be she turns up and says something along the lines of "Here's the paperwork. You stand to inherit £75,000, just sign here...", but not mentioning he's forfeiting £250k/a property/etc. in the process.

When I was 18 that was an unimaginable amount of money and I would have snapped the pen trying to sign the contract so quickly!

Goodness me. This is totally a drip feed as you said a sort of elderly family member wants to meet him for lunch in London, is it weird?

No, it's not weird if he is inheriting some of the estate of his Great Uncle, this lady's late husband. !

Has he not had details yet of what he is inheriting? When is he inheriting it? Does this Great Aunt have any say in what happens?

Who knows, there may have been some caviats or conditions, maybe she just wants to tell him about his generous relative, maybe there was some wish or message or other from the Great Uncle.

Either way, the notion that you need to be round the corner in case she gets 'weird' or 'emotional' is, to me, very weird.

He could reply nicely, say that would be lovely, and go.
Of course not agree to anything on the lunch.
Of course be alert to make sure he's not going to be bundled off in a Trabant with a blindfold.
Perhaps he should wear his trainers. For running away🙄

I voted yabu but having read the massive drip feed I can now understand your concerns.

I don't think he should go. I'd encourage him to politely decline, or come down ill on the day or similar.

Given the very important context regarding the will I'd not want him to go alone, or at all tbh.

Get your DH to stay for the lunch too. Don't just drop him off. There should be nothing that can't be said in front of his Dad.

I mean...I'm a half-great aunt through marriage. My late husband had a half sibling and has two nephews. The nephews have children.

When I shuffle off this mortal coil, if there's any money left after my care needs then it won't be going to my husband's kids - it'll be going to my cousin's kids and to my nephews through marriage or their children.

Why? It's a long story, but the nephews have been much more decent to me than my husband's kids ever were. [Obligatory "No, I wasn't the OW."]

They're not from a culture or family with anything like gangster connections or honour codes or easy abductions...are they? It sounds dramatic but there is plenty of that about in the UK.

It sounds a bit suss to me .

And why wouldn’t the great uncle leave all his money to his DP? Or make her his executor? If you don’t know that, she and her family may be aggrieved and trying to gather evidence to contest the will. How long were they together? Could she be a scammer?

There’s probably an innocent, simple explanation. She probably wants to meet your DS to pass on what her DP would have liked him to do with the money or out of curiously to see what he’s like and if he might blow it all.

But financial scams are rife.

Please let his dad stay.

Nah if he's never met her and inheritance is at stake then yes still parent him. He might be old enough to vote, drive, and marry. But not old enough to resist manipulation. She's being very inappropriate. He's a junior member of your household and his brain is still developing and also he may one day be responsible for his own children and/or your care. It's a family interest conversation. Don't let her play he said she said and divide and rule.

I'm not sure why everyone thinks you're being so unreasonable. That's a pretty intense situation for an 18 year old and I'd think most would find it quite challenging. I don't think you're at all unreasonable to want to keep an eye out for him.

Half not step.

Really, not even if he wants her around locally as there could be a lot to mull over.

https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/a-z-of-fraud/inheritance-fraud

I’d certainly suggest the lunch venue, rather than meeting her where she suggests. And go with him to keep an eye.

If it’s a substantial amount (over £100k) one possible scam I could think of is cloning his bank card, somehow and/or finding out his PIN. So that when the money gets paid it to his account, they can take it straight out. If he uses his card in a place of her choosing, a scammer could be on the payroll.

Tell him not to take his bank card. Only cash.

I wouldn’t let him go (yes I know he is 18) I would advise him to put it off until he has received his inheritance. He could meet her later on and she may genuinely want to meet him and get to know the people her late husband obviously considered important enough to leave money to. However, it is slightly odd that she hasn’t invite you his parents so I would be initially wary.

Also, are you sure it’s her who’s contacted him?

I was thinking that. Could be anyone who has contacted him. And who knows who will turn up at the meeting point.