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AIBU?

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Original poster

18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

359 replies

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:49

i didn’t know how I should title the thread.

My son is 18 so an adult. A man. He lives at home and will go to university in September.

If a kind of family member, a woman, I imagine in her late 60s/70s told him she was going to be in London over Easter and would he meet her for lunch, would you be tempted to tag along?

OP posts:
Whoarethoseguys · 15/04/2025 15:58

No, unless I had been invited

Original poster
EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2025 15:57

I'm reserving my judgement, what is the backstory?

JLou08 · 15/04/2025 15:57

I don't understand what your concern is?
An 18 year old man and a 70 year old woman, unless the 18 year old has a disability he is not the vulnerable one in the situation. Also nothing strange about 'kind if family' from different generations meeting for lunch.

Boreded · 15/04/2025 15:57

@EWAB hurry up and give us the real reason for it the question.

actually wait…son is really a daughter and it is a middle aged man who is the family member isn’t it. And you are trying to prove that if one is ok then the other should be?

if I am right I expect a prize

Starlight1984 · 15/04/2025 15:56

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:49

i didn’t know how I should title the thread.

My son is 18 so an adult. A man. He lives at home and will go to university in September.

If a kind of family member, a woman, I imagine in her late 60s/70s told him she was going to be in London over Easter and would he meet her for lunch, would you be tempted to tag along?

My son is 18 so an adult. A man.

If a kind of family member, a woman.

Very odd way of wording things....

MissDoubleU · 15/04/2025 15:55

Waiting for drip feed.

Did your son ask you to tag along?

What are your concerns re: this relative or their intentions?

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 15/04/2025 15:55

I wouldn't tag along to a lunch with my adult offspring unless I had been specifically invited.

BacktoBeginnersFran · 15/04/2025 15:55

To answer your question straightforwardly... No.
I have an 18yr old DS, and if his nan / auntie / cousin (trying to think of the possibilities here) asked him to lunch I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

But obviously there's more to it than that so what is it?....

coldcallerbaiter · 15/04/2025 15:55

Does he want to go?

You have a hunch about the motivation- what is it?

toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 15:54

Tag along what for?

What are you afraid of or what do you think you're tagging along will achieve or prevent?

Jinglejanglenamechanged25 · 15/04/2025 15:54

What’s their relationship? Are they close?

CaptainFuture · 15/04/2025 15:54

To treat them both to lunch, or to be bought lunch?

Seeline · 15/04/2025 15:54

What do you mean by 'a kind of family member '?
Does your DS know her?
Is it at her home or a restaurant?

Moveoverdarlin · 15/04/2025 15:53

My 18 year old son wouldn’t want to go to lunch with an elderly female relative. Maybe if it was his granny, in which case no I wouldn’t tag along.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/04/2025 15:53

Are you the gran/aunt who has invited the lad and his mum wants to muscle in?

If you are the mum let them develop their own adult to adult relationship.

AndImBrit · 15/04/2025 15:53

In my family, possibly if that was the only time you’d see the relative (eg my cousin is currently visiting from abroad. I’m tagging along to a lunch she planned with my mum as we both want to see each other and there’s no other convenient time. It’s a totally fine thing to do. A few months ago my mum tagged along to a visit to my aunt for a similar reason, plus we have more fun when there’s more of us).

But I wouldn’t feel a need to do this. And if I wanted to I’d ask son if he wanted me to join first.

Snorlaxo · 15/04/2025 15:53

What are you concerned about?

Do you live outside London and think that he would struggle getting there or being in London ?

Is this person “tricky” and likely to have a motive for the meeting that your son is unlikely to spot or be able to say no to an unreasonable request?

Are you jealous that he’d be travelling to London as you’d like to go too?

Are you jealous because you’d like to spend time with this person?

I assume you’re not worried about a romantic motivation .

CloudPop · 15/04/2025 15:53

These threads are so annoying - intriguing question which clearly needs more info - one post only from the OP.

MinistryofThyme · 15/04/2025 15:52

In no way, shape or form, no. Unless there’s going to be an enormous dripfeed about how this is your estranged sister who has just been released from prison after the mass murder of unaccompanied teenage boys.

Radiatorvalves · 15/04/2025 15:51

DS is the same age. His auntie is early 60s. She invites him for lunch/dinner occasionally and I don’t tag along. If it’s a family get together, that’s different.

Sailead · 15/04/2025 15:51

Tag along for a free lunch? Or to make sure this kind woman who is related to your adult son doesn’t try to seduce him?

Nomorecoconutboosts · 15/04/2025 15:51

I think we need more context. Is this a safeguarding concern (is he at some sort of risk from the family member?)…or are you jealous… or has the young person been a bit sheltered so you don’t want him travelling alone?

Decapitatedsausage · 15/04/2025 15:51

I feel like we are missing half a story here!

DenholmElliot11 · 15/04/2025 15:51

Tag along? fuck no what an odd thing to even think about doing.