Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

359 replies

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:49

i didn’t know how I should title the thread.

My son is 18 so an adult. A man. He lives at home and will go to university in September.

If a kind of family member, a woman, I imagine in her late 60s/70s told him she was going to be in London over Easter and would he meet her for lunch, would you be tempted to tag along?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 15/04/2025 16:08

Hmm. I would ask him if he would like me to come. And if not, I’d make quite sure he understands not to sign or agree to abything. Tell him to say he will need to talk to his solicitor.

Original poster
EWAB · 15/04/2025 16:07

She is not an executor. Yes the half-great uncle is dead obviously.

Son does wonder what she wants and is tempted to contact his cousin who is also a beneficiary.

He definitely wouldn’t sign anything. I don’t have concerns like that.

OP posts:
fatgirlswims · 15/04/2025 16:07

context is everything OP.

I would advise him not to go!

BananaSpanner · 15/04/2025 16:07

Boreded · 15/04/2025 16:01

Well yes you should go. You need to make sure she isn’t about to try to convince him to give up the money

Show quote history

Yes, rightly or wrongly, I’d be suspicious of her intent.
Could be innocent though, she could just want to tell him what he is going to receive.
The cynic in me would worry she was going to ask him to relinquish some of the inheritance or give her live in rights to a property or something and whilst he is an adult, he still might need some guidance or at least someone with him who would not let this person railroad him into a quick answer.

Or she might just want to get to know him reminisce about her partner.

BobbyBiscuits · 15/04/2025 16:06

No. Not unless I was invited. Why can't he go for lunch with a family member?
Unless he doesn't want to in which case he should decline.
I fail to see why you think you should be involved.

FeedTheRoses · 15/04/2025 16:05

ExtraOnions · 15/04/2025 16:04

Eh ? My nephew (18) is at Uni in a city where I often go for work … I took him out for lunch whilst I was up. He seemed grateful for a feed at someone else’s expense 😂

This is something altogether different though, an inheritance may be at stake, who knows.

OP ask for an invite

FairlyTired · 15/04/2025 16:05

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

I'd be worried she's going to try and pressure him out of the inheritance. Would probably go just to avoid him being awkward anyway as it's a complete stranger. Will he even recognise her?
I wouldn't have wanted to go alone to London to meet a stranger at 18.

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/04/2025 16:05

I would assume she just wants to meet the young man who has been named in her late partner's will. I imagine she is thinking he is an adult, not a child.

Hwi · 15/04/2025 16:05

Last time I read about such an invitation (M.Wesley in A Sensible Life), it was when a relative informed a nephew about bequeathing him an estate. Stay well out of it, don't annoy people. You were not invited. He was.

Flamingoknees · 15/04/2025 16:05

Given your update, yes I'd go, if he wanted me to. If he doesn't, ensure he knows not to sign, agree to, or promise, anything, regarding his inheritance. Prepare him for emotional manipulation, begging, lies, or even threats. Probably better if he didn't go.

ExtraOnions · 15/04/2025 16:04

Eh ? My nephew (18) is at Uni in a city where I often go for work … I took him out for lunch whilst I was up. He seemed grateful for a feed at someone else’s expense 😂

saveforthat · 15/04/2025 16:03

Is the uncle still alive?

Fiery30 · 15/04/2025 16:03

Surely your son has asked her the reason for the invitation. And if he is ok with it, I don't see what the issue is. He can always tell you what they spoke over lunch, if you are that interested. Why would you turn up uninvited?

Dollshousedolly · 15/04/2025 16:02

I wouldn't for along but I think I'd be advising him not to sign anything she might out in front of him and to change subject if there's a mention of finances/Wills.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/04/2025 16:02

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

Well that's a different scenario altogether. Do you think she is going to try to guilt trip him into giving up his inheritance or inform him that someone is going to dispute the Will (eg. her). With the new information I think I most certainly would tag along!

Beketaten · 15/04/2025 16:01

Well, it's up to him. Maybe advise him not to sign anything that he is unsure about before taking legal advice, if the will is being discussed.

Boreded · 15/04/2025 16:01

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

Well yes you should go. You need to make sure she isn’t about to try to convince him to give up the money

nomas · 15/04/2025 16:00

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

No, I wouldn’t tag along. Just advise him that if she asks him do anything such as sign paperwork, then he should tell her that he’ll take it away and get back to her.

eggandonion · 15/04/2025 16:00

Is the great uncle alive or dead...do you think the lady is going to contest the will?

Jinglejanglenamechanged25 · 15/04/2025 16:00

OP that’s your son’s money it’s up to him.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2025 15:59

I'd say you aren't invited so no I wouldn't tag along. I would also make sure my son was advised by a solicitor to not sign anything or make verbal promises to anything she says.

JandamiHash · 15/04/2025 15:59

EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:57

My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle. This woman who I might have met once is his partner . Son has never met her and is bemused by the invitation.

No safeguarding issues.

I am intrigued what she has to say to him,

Is she the executor of his will??

Original poster
EWAB · 15/04/2025 15:59

MissDoubleU

Sorry if you think it’s a drip feed I just wanted someone’s initial instincts.

OP posts:
JandamiHash · 15/04/2025 15:58

I suspect given OP’s wording her DS has asked her to come along for whatever reason.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 15/04/2025 15:58

I think you are going to have to be more forthcoming about your concerns here OP. I went to uni in a tourist hotspot and often met family members for lunch if they were visiting while I was at uni, it seems perfectly normal.

Swipe left for the next trending thread