18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

would you be tempted to tag along?

No. You're not invited; and if she wants to have a private conversation with your son, she just won't do it while you're there.

If you're not concerned about nefarious intentions or him signing anything, I'd let him go. He's off to uni in September, he needs to be able to hold his own and look after himself. That doesn't mean you can't guide him, but you won't be able to be present as defence.

I'd presume that she wants to meet the people who her late partner thought so highly of that he left things to him in his will; to be honest.

Has he been contacted with regards to the Will officially yet? I would be concerned she might guilt him into wanting to stay in a house or gifting his share back or rights. Given the circumstances I would probably go for a coffee round the corner and get him to text you if she turns on the waterworks or starts to try and turn the conversation to what she might be entitled to.

Actually the OP stated he had never met his partner.

Only 15 minutes AFTER my post did the OP state they hadn't met the uncle either.

Regardless, I guess the partner just wants to meet the person the money is going to.

I'd suggest he contacts his cousin to see if he's been contacted as well. It might make sense for them both to go. He could suggest this to the great-aunt by marriage.

It's very sweet.
Almost like a chapter in The Age of Innocence.

if this was my son I would ask if he wanted me to come along, and go with his wishes. It’s pretty simple really!

Your original OP was very vague.

I can easily see why a woman whose partner has left a portion of his estate to a young man (or multiple young people) might want to connect with that person. Is she also a beneficiary or has she been cut out? if the former, it would seem to me she just wants to know the people her DP left his estate to. if the latter, well, I could imagine she might want to put pressure on him to give her some cash.

Maybe this woman, having recently lost her partner, feels it would be nice to connect with his great nephew, who was clearly dear to him if he's a beneficiary in his will. I wouldn't automatically assume an ulterior motive until he's met her.

I'd be suspicious of her intentions too. I don't really think you can tag along without making it obvious that you don't trust her. But do brief your son not to be influenced or agree to anything detrimental and certainly not to sign anything.

Do you know how much your son stands to inherit? Is it life changing or is it a trivial amount?

At 18, it wouldn’t take too much to be life-changing, for example enough to pay Uni fees.

I’m a middle aged woman but if someone wanted to meet me over a will and I didn’t know them and had any sense it was contentious, I’d be bringing someone as moral support and a second pair of ears!

It is none of your business what she says, if he wants you to know then presumably he will report back to HQ.

Has your DS been officially informed of his inheritance by the executor or solicitor? So he is aware of what he has coming and any restrictions?

I wouldn't tag along however I would advise him to be cautious about what he says to her and agree with others about not signing anything.
It could just be she would like to meet him to see where the money is going, no ill intentions, however as others have said maybe she is unhappy with the will and wants to contest it..

You being curious isn’t enough to justify you tagging along. I’m sure your son is perfectly capable of meeting for lunch, listening, and relaying to you what was discussed (if appropriate) after the fact.

I'd take my lead from my son. Is he happy to meet her by himself or would he prefer you to tag along.

I'd probably tell him not to sign anything though. 😆

Not unless you want him to be totally humiliated, he's an adult and mummy shouldn't be thrusting herself into his life. When would you stop, 21. 30, 50 ?

OP has already stated they hadn’t met. Quite common for elderly people to leave money to young adults in the family.

The context is everything and in this case, you have some suspicions about her motives. I would talk to your son about your concerns, see what he wants to do and take your lead from him. At his age, if he definitely doesn't want you there, then you can't force him to take you along, but if he is aware of potential issues, then that might be enough for them not to blindside him if they are brought up.

But he’ll tell you what she said, surely?

And it’s difficult for people to answer instinctively if facts are withheld that are situation specific.

I would probably go into town and chaperone him or whatever, but leave him be for the meeting. If the family member won't know who you are you could sit nearby or in a cafe next door or something just in case your son needs you.

I'd be wary of him getting pressed into signing something etc without fully understanding what it entails.

Hmmm. A bit odd. Yes go with him and make out it was spontaneous. Just in case he’s pressured to give up money

Why is he bemused?

This woman's partner has died and she is wanting to meet the person that her partner left money to. I'm assuming money was left to your son because he knew his half great-uncle? Maybe she thinks it's a nice thing to do, and tell your son some more about the person who has left him money?!? Maybe she wants to meet the young man who her partner clearly liked enough to leave money to? Maybe the money has been left with stipulations and she wants to explain them to him?

I'm sure he'll be fine all by himself!