18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

I think you are right to be wary and prep him for possible emotional blackmail/manipulation, just in case. It could all be perfectly innocent but you never know.

And 18 is absolutely not fully cooked! Yes legally they are adults but it’s madness to think that when the clock ticks over midnight on their 18th birthdays, that they can suddenly cope with everything and need no guidance.

Of course, someone will be along in a minute to say “I’d lived in 6 countries/travelled in war zones/got my PhD and had 6 children by the time I was that age blah blah” but for the vast majority of people, 18 can still be quite young. Go with your instincts and protect your boy!!

I agree with @Lavenderandbrown , although I am English my DD is living with me and was born on the continent. Approaching 18. Here, although an "adult" , until economically indepenant or 24, you are responsible,as the parent.

I am now shocked when I look at all the "cut the ties" threads. As if 18 your job is done.

18 is a teenager, still at school for most.

Yes, I left home at 18, but it was all SO different 30 years ago. I also got a full grant etc.

DCs in France/Spain/taly live at home until late 20s.

I KNEW this would be about inheritance and I would advise, like a PP, not to meet.
Manipulation jumps straight to my mind.

That's what I thought. But they would still be the child of a great grandparent so just as much of a great uncle?

I'm trying to work it out too. Presumably a grandparent's half-brother? May need to sit down with paper and pencil.

You're only ever half related an uncle, right? It's either the sibling of your parent or in this case the sibling (I assume) of your grandparent. Maybe it's the grandparent's half-sibling, but that hardly feels like a distinction worth making. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe I’m being thick but half great uncle? Surely you can’t be a half uncle? You’re either someone’s (great) uncle or you’re not? 🤔

"My son is going to be a beneficiary of the will of his late half-great uncle"

Good lord - cut the apron strings! This sounds utterly stifling…

My reaction your OP was : Err… of course not.

But then someone he has never met, in those specific circumstances, that’s a different matter.
I’d do what he wanted me to do. I think 18yo are very varied in terms of independence and holding their own. Dc1 would have been fine. Dc2 not really. I mean dc2 is now nearly 20yo and I dint think he’d be ready for that even now (and despite having been away at Uni fur 2 years).

I think the fact your ds is weary of her motives is a good sign tbh.
She might be really kind. She might wonder who on earth is that person her husband/partner(?) left all this money to. She might want to try and make him feel guilty. Or just share with him who he was. Who knows.
One thing I would do is to have a chat with him about the reasons why she wants to meet up. As neutrally as possible (I’m assuming you dint really know her either?)

No. I'm fairly confident my DS is no threat to older women so why would I?

Op couple of things stand out

I'm usa so to me an 18 yr old is not an adult and I would be concerned about this lunch meeting.
she is not family Not even sorta. One she is not blood and two you and your son have met her or late great uncle (LGU)
i would definitely be concerned that now she wants to meet. Do you have any idea of what provisions LGU made for his partner?
DS who is only 18 must be coached re: don’t sign don’t promise be prepared for emotions call if you need me
i hope this has a happy ending for your som and he is able to use the inheritance with a clear heart and mind for his education or home or something he knows his uncle would happy about too.

I wouldn't tag along.

I'm amused that the uncle is "half great." He remembered your son in his will; he sounds all great to me!

I don't see the circumstances as weird, if great Aunt wants to see great nephew and tell him about his great uncle and his wish to leave something in his will to him then that's family history. He might be glad to know what info she's sharing. When we get around to genealogy most people feel sad that they never met relations

Under these particular circumstances I would maybe go (even if not actually sitting with them) I would tell him to not sign anything in your absence.

Well, I'm suspicious by nature, so I'd assume the only reason she'd want to meet him is to convince him to give up some or all of the inheritance he's about to receive.

I'd be expecting a story along the lines of great uncle intended to change his will to leave everything to partner, but he never got round to it.

Though maybe if they lived together she's possibly worried about losing her home if it was solely in his name, which is fair enough.

Has your older son been included in the will or just your younger son?

I can see why you are concerned OP. All you can advise your son if he finds himself boxed into a corner by this woman is to be very non committal. Yes he's an adult but a young one and wiser heads than his would possibly be vulnerable to manipulation if that might be a possibility here.

In your shoes I'd get a copy of the will online so I understood the ins and outs of the bequests which would help me understand her possible motivation in wanting a meeting with him. She may have been promised a bequest which hasn't been reflected in the will and she may be sounding out your son as to whether he'd be prepared to honour his gt. uncle's "wishes". Or she may just be mourning the loss of her partner and want to meet his young relative and have a chance to get to know him. Who knows! Your misgivings are not misplaced but I don't think you should tag along.

Zero reason why that couldn’t have been included in the OP. 🙄

What if the great-uncle's partner didn't know about the will until after he died and she is angry about money being left to fairly distant relations like OP's son who neither she nor the great uncle ever met.

What if she tries to guilt-trip OP's son into giving up her inheritance? OP says that he is a young 18 and so may need some moral support.

Maybe, as he's going to be a beneficiary of his great-uncle's will but never knew him, she wants to take your son out for a nice lunch and tell him a little bit about his great-uncle, so that he knows the man who's left him money.

I would encourage my son to go. This woman has been widowed: perhaps she'd just like to meet the young man who's benefitting from her partner's estate. If it turns out that she has other motives, your son can just get up and leave.

How much money are we talking about @EWAB ?
If it's a small amount, I don't see any problem, but if it's substantial, especially if it's linked to the sale of his home, which he might have shared with his partner, I do.

You have other DC but only this DS is a beneficiary? Have you seen the will? Maybe I'm being naive ɓut I don't immediately assume this woman is going to try to steal his inheritance.

How can you have initial instincts if you have no idea of context or backstory.

Under these circumstances then yes I think I would tag along if he wanted me to.

I’m just trying to get my head round half great uncle. I think I need a map 😖