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Original poster

Move back to home country for this reason?

28 replies

pinkswan1 · 15/04/2025 10:02

When I was at University in England several years ago, I met my now husband, and after completing my degree in my home country returned to the UK. We had kind of wanted/ planned to move to my home country eventually but having now a family here in the UK, and being very happy and settled, it feels very unlikely to happen now. The only thing that really bothers me is that my parents are in my home country (1.5 hours flight away) and I miss them very much. For this reason we tried to move several times but it never worked out- we would have had massive commutes, less money, and still not lived in my home town. I miss them terribly however, and so we go there, on average, every two months which by now really means thousands of pounds per year in travel costs. They only come over about once a year and despite me inviting them over they are quite reluctant to do so. My question is- is missing family reason enough to up sticks and leave behind our lovely lives we have over here? Our lives would be very good over there as well, (on paper probably even better) but we love where we are now. Is it a case of "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkswan1 · 15/04/2025 10:42

toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 10:39

They only come over about once a year and despite me inviting them over they are quite reluctant to do so.

It's unreasonable to expect them to act because your missing them. That's quite within their right to not want to come over, they maybe deal with things differently than you do, maybe they dont want to travel. Stop expecting them to act as you would. They are not you.

You need to move for your own reasons, weigh up the pros and cons, for now and future - not just you but your immediate family. Is DH going to be in the same position if you move? missing their family etc. Will the kids be uprooted in school, lose friends etc, will they have better prospects? Is missing family a good enough reason? Only you can answer this, if it is, it is.

Yes, you are right- I can't expect them to visit as much. It's just a shame I think sometimes as I know many others where the grandparents gladly visit several times a year.
Well that's the thing, it's difficult to find an as good job for my husband and I almost certainly would have to retrain. DC is 5 and loves their school and has many friends, though I do think kids that age are easier to move than say a 10 year old.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 10:39

They only come over about once a year and despite me inviting them over they are quite reluctant to do so.

It's unreasonable to expect them to act because your missing them. That's quite within their right to not want to come over, they maybe deal with things differently than you do, maybe they dont want to travel. Stop expecting them to act as you would. They are not you.

You need to move for your own reasons, weigh up the pros and cons, for now and future - not just you but your immediate family. Is DH going to be in the same position if you move? missing their family etc. Will the kids be uprooted in school, lose friends etc, will they have better prospects? Is missing family a good enough reason? Only you can answer this, if it is, it is.

Original poster
pinkswan1 · 15/04/2025 10:38

Anyone?

OP posts: