What do we do? Do we get a new one the same? Even though I will be a bit sad that it's not the one we had at our ceremony, the symbolism linked to the item is important to me.
Or do we just leave it
Last time he lost it he got very upset. I bought a metal detector and had to go through the bins, I found it somewhere in the house eventually.
He's not good at looking for or finding things and I regularly get frustrated by having to help him find his keys, wallet, vouchers, paperwork, usually when he is running late and getting snippy.
I've tried creating specific spaces for these things but he doesn't use them. He is terminally forgetful and gets frustrated with himself and sometimes me.
He needed a sports garment yesterday and didn't wash it a week ago when he last used it, he couldn't find it, I told him it was in the laundry basket by the machine and he was equally surprised and angry. He snapped at me a bit and then couldn't go to his club. He dorve there to check for his ring with no results and when he came back he apologised and admitted he was BU And should stay on top of caring for his own stuff.
He's now really visibly preoccupied by losing the ring again, he kept taking it off for sports, sleeping, bathing, washing up, gardening.
So now he wears it on a necklace but again, not all the time and takes it off leaving it lying around. I've told him to put it in my jewelry cabinet if he takes it off but of course he doesn't. I bought him a really nice personalised valet tray for it - that got shoved in a drawer.
I never take mine off, it's sized properly so it doesn't fall off. I put my things where I know I can find them, or leave things together in my bag. If I can't find something I can't ask him to help me look as he often can't see the salt and pepper at the front of the cupboard.
AIBU to have sort of given up caring about it, he can do what he likes.
AIBU to be getting tired of his constant woe about it? I've once again had to carve out a huge amount of time later to turn the house upside down to look for it when I have a lot of work to do and also want some downtime.
AIBU to not want to participate in this dramatic fellowship of the ring saga.