AIBU? Babysitters

Obviously not in ops small bubble

Thats such a weird leap to make that the poster has no friends

But you’re a new parent though, right? (I’m guessing by your commentary). So you don’t have much in the way of experience as a parent, right? So, by association, so don’t have much experience of people using babysitters, right? Very common, I can assure you.

Pull yourself together for heavens sake. It was hardly an attack. It was a perception, a very likely accurate one, despite their proclamation that I was way off. They are entitled and rude and disrespectful and everything that is wrong with western society.

You are unlikely to be able to have some self awareness so there’s nothing more to say. I have to laugh at MN. People post questions and ask for responses. The vast majority of the time they are entrenched in their view about how they are spot on and everyone else is wrong. They then receive comments in response (to the questions they themselves posed) and will then defend themselves to the hilt. Why bother posting? Why bother asking others their views? Surely it’s helpful in life to get an outsider’s opinion and then ACTUALLY consider it. You can tell the coachable people on here and you can very much tell the ones who will coast through life under the assumption that they are correct and everyone else is wrong. 20 years from now your child will be posting on some agony aunt page about how their mother is a nightmare because she can never see anyone else’s viewpoints and they’re ending the relationship with her. You’ll be cut out of the relationship with your grandchild that you find out you have because (to quote the other poster that I apparently attacked) you offer nothing positive in your child’s life and you’re not entitled to have a relationship with them simply because they’re family. But it will be your child’s fault for sure. Yep, definitely 👌

Absolutely! And from reading her original post and subsequent responses on here, I suspect that obnoxious is the OP’s only setting.

Do you really think “a night out” is the only reason people use a babysitter?

This.

That was the same as a neighbour of mine. We asked on our street's WhatsApp group if anyone did babysitting, and a lady messaged me. She said she has two children slightly older than mine and she worked at the local primary school. We went out with all the kids togerher for some playdates, got to know each other, built up a relationship and then when we were all ready she babysat him. Now ahe is a friend as well as regular babysitter. So you could say she was a random stranger I sourced over social media.... but she's also now a babysitter/friend/neighbour we know and trust. In fact, we know her FAR better than any of the strangers we left the kids with when they were at nursery!

Has this really gone to driving on motorways????

Yes so judgement!

Of course you can avoid a motorway if you really want to. In fact, if you want to get even more ridiculous about it, you can even avoid travelling in a car altogether if you REALLY want to... and that's way more risky than a babysitter!

By the way, there are other reasons for people wanting a babysitter than a 'night out' you know...

Of course motorways are a choice

I used to babysit for a neighbour when i was a teenager some 30yrs ago. Kids were aged 1 to 5... It was normal stuff. Not sure what the issue is. Most instances of abuse are not from "strangers" and ultimately you wouldn't just pick a sitter from the street. Just like I didn't randomly choose our nanny...

You never leave your child?

Absolutely. But you have to love someone judging others because of risks whilst engaging in riskier behaviour.

Going on the motorway would probably be seen as unavoidable in lots of situations. Going for a night out isn't, in my opinion. Each to their own.

Even more reason to use local babysitters then

Family members are a bigger risk.

I'd think driving your kid down the motorway would be more dangerous

We were lucky to have grandparents help if stuck when kids were younger but we only used them for weddings etc otherwise generally went out separately if we fancied a night out.

you seem to have a lot of help from grandparents which is great.

you say you think you should be the one to mind your kids and it’s something you sacrifice (for a short time) when you decided to have kids but yet say you would take more help if it was given?

I Don’t know anyone that would leave kids with a complete stranger off the internet as you say. But I know plenty who would hire local babysitter on recommendation or staff from Creche etc

I think people are annoyed but defensive of your post as the language you use is quite judgemental

It's still different to me than a teen (usually younger than 18) solely babysitting a child.

Absolutely right, but once qualified they are a member of staff so able to be left alone with the children as they are then insured to do so. So during the times when children filter in and outside during free choice, covering each others lunches etc

There are several teens I’d trust to care for a small child above several adults. If I had a choice of leaving a small baby with my teenager or with many of my ex partners, the teenager would win every single time:

Being younger isn’t a guarantee of incompetence. Lots of young people are very responsible and self-reliant.

Of course. They have to start somewhere and they will still be around others who are older and with more experience.

That’ll only be until they're qualified. Usually around 18 like I was

There's not much interaction if your kids are in bed. Its all a bit precious.