How to respond politely when people comment on my weight loss

I don’t like saying thanks either !!
thanks for what ?? That I was fat and now I’m less fat ? So that’s now something to say thank you for ?

Honestly. 🙄

I still can’t believe it’s such a ‘compliment’ to mention weight loss. I cringe every time I hear someone going on about how great someone looks because it’s blatantly saying you looked like dog shit before. And I think it’s such a shallow and horrible way of measuring the worth of someone.

Yes we can all bang on about the health benefits but let’s face it, that’s not why people are making the compliment. It’s all about how someone presents and yet they’re the same human being. When my boss lost significant weight everyone kept going on about how great she looked but I wanted to say ‘yes but she’s still the same narcissistic bully that she was before…’

People should never comment on other people’s bodies. YANBU.

@domebody people have always told me I've lost weight, I think they imagine me as some sort of huge balloon. When they say this, I'm either the same or have put on weight.

I'd reply to them, I see your eyes work and then change the topic. I'm not usually polite :)

I say thanks and try to divert. If it doesn't work I'd then say 'I'd rather not talk about it, its such a personal thing'.

Gosh. I lost 2st 7lb a couple of years ago. I had been enjoying good wine and wine a little too much. I am just inside the normal weight category presently at 24.9999999999999 BMI.

I have been delighted every single time so.ebody has said, "you are looking great, have you lost a little weight". Response "yes, yes I have, thank you for noticing. I had to take myself in hand and feel so much better".

I have achieved something and people are being nice. I don't understand the interpretation that it's backhanded and the angst that really they meant that you were previously fat. I was fat. It was a fact. Now I'm not. It's great.

Don’t say I don’t want to talk donut it, they will assume you are ill in my experience.

‘Thavk you, I am finally back at my normal size’

Or

’It has taken a while bit yes I finally got there, thank you for noticing’

’Thsnks I feel much better’

I have had this - open mouthed reaction and it isn’t pleasant. I look much younger and so they also ask if I have had ‘something’ done! And one memorably asked me if I have cancer 🤷‍♀️

When someone states the bleedin' obvious, such as 'you've had your hair cut' the obvious answer is 'no, it shrank in the wash'
Perhaps when someone says 'you've lost weight', just say 'a girl in ruby slippers threw a bucket of water over me and it just melted'.

I lost a significant amount of weight (that I regained because I didn’t get my head around the comments). I love how everyone is saying just say thanks and they’ll stop, completely forgetting that people are dicks and will just continue. It’s not just as simple as accepting the compliment - it’s the loaded insult that previously you didn’t look good. People like to tell you that you feel better and are healthier, ignoring a physical illness might have brought on this weight loss or how your mental health is. It’s the sheer number of comments, from people you wouldn’t ordinarily speak to and it just becomes this thing of being worth more when you’re thin.

I wouldn’t say thanks, I just go with a slight head nod and a “mmm”. If someone wants to talk about it, they will. No amount of politeness will stop them. At that point you’re within your rights to say “I don’t want to talk about it”. I’m starting to realise when people can’t leave it alone, it’s not about you, it’s about them. They are projecting you are healthier and feel better because it’s their own fat phobia projecting that. This also means they have an idea of the ‘right’ way to lose weight. So these people will comment negatively if you’ve used weight loss injections. They also won’t like comments about being ill or needing therapy. Basically they just want to hear you did 5:2 or keto and you’re running half marathons every weekend.

For anyone confused about whether to comment on someone’s weight loss, if they want a compliment, they will mention it first or it will be on their socials. People can be proud of their achievement and feel better. It’s fine for you to talk about it. If someone says you look well, respond with thanks, I’ve lost weight and I feel really good. If someone isn’t mentioning their weight, then just don’t mention it.

This is the perfect comeback. I always say, “ah, such a long and boring story, let’s talk about something else” whenever I try to avoid a subject. I’ve never yet had anyone insist on talking about something I had already marked down as boring, never even had to repeat that statement.

I don't think anyone should be commenting on another person's weight unless invited to or they are very emotionally close to you.

The worst situation I heard about was from a friend whose daughter had a eating disorder and people kept complimenting her on her weight loss. People also lose weight due to ill health and unless you know the person you don't know what's going on for them or the meaning of their weight loss.

I also think it reflects societies (and somewhat misogynistic) views of women, placing too much importance on appearance. Thanking someone is agreeing with this position.

I might just say, 'i prefer not to discuss my weight'. You could add 'hope thars ok with you' if you want to be a bit less assertive?! People might feel a little uncomfortable for a few moments but maybe that's ok!

Just say thanks and move on.

I've lost 25lbs and my friend noticed at the weekend and complimented me. I said thanks and complimented her on the lovely top she was wearing. Personally I was thrilled she noticed my weight loss as I've worked hard to lose that much.

They are probably just making polite or nervous conversation, or are pleased you are looking healthier.
I doubt anyone massively gives a shit.

What amazes me about people commenting on weight loss is that you could have cancer or something really awful. Why would you take the risk unless you knew the person really well!

Weight is such a personal issue and not something I would ever comment on (or really notice in others, I’m not really that interested).

OP in your thread title you mention being polite but the more you think about it the less polite I think you are aiming for. I don’t disagree!

The best I can think of is
— You’ve lost weight
— I know right! Long and boring story. So what’s new with you?

I was working in a shop a few years ago, a regular (who I'd also see at thr gym a lot) decided to comment on my weight "You'd put on weight before, now you've lost it again. How did you do it?".

I just told them the truth "I was in recovery from anorexia before and going to hospital for weight restoration, and now treatment has ended and I've relapsed again".

Look on her face was worth it. People shouldn't comment on weight unless they already know your situation and know congratulations will be welcome etc.

So I vote just tell the truth. Especially if it's awkward.

A slog is the right word, and hopefully, it will stay off as it’s all been done steadily - the weight mostly went on due to a house move meaning I stopped being as active at the same time as going through the menopause! Having young children and being an older mum is hard enough without not being able to get on the floor to play with them or walk along the beach comfortably!!

Gracious. It sounds as if you feel guilty for having been fat in the first place?

Say 'I prefer not to talk about it' and then ask an unconnected question.

If you have a personal boundary, it's ok to enforce it.

It is impolite to talk about weight/loss/gain with anyone who hasn't opened the topic themselves.

Perhaps a choice of fetching lanyards with the following messages...

Red - Yes, I've lost weight but how dare you feel it's ok to look at my body and comment on it? Just fuck off
Green - Yes, I have lost weight. I'm so chuffed. It was hard work, but worth it. Thanks for noticing and the compliment.
Amber - Yes, I have lost weight, thank you. But I have spent our savings on injections, so please don't mention it to my husband.
Blue - Yes, I have lost weight, but before you say anything, ask me what kind of mood I'm in because I could either hug you or rip your face off.

Big congrats to you! And particularly for slogging it out naturally. Long process, frustrating process, but ultimately, you've done it, got the tee-shirt!
Good luck for the last leg (the worst sometimes!)!

When I lost weight I'd just say thank you if they'd said I looked great/well whatever then say "I do feel better for it". Any questions I'd just answer honestly "Vegan diet, lots of walking". Heavy on the smiles, light on the words is always a good approach if you want to shut something down nicely.

You cannoy win on MN! You're right, there are those who've posted that no-one mentioned their brand new (injection facilitated) weight loss, and those who post that they don't want comments.
Perhaps the latter is because the loss was due to purchased rather than being precribed, so more vanity than clinical imperative?

I’ve lost a significant amount of weight over the last 14 months - over 6 stone but still have more to lose to be where I will be happy to stop losing weight (but I’ll still be a couple of stone over what the NHS says my weight should be!). Obviously people at the slimming group I go to comment on how well I’ve done and that’s understandable as they know how much and do so as an encouragement but, just before the school holidays, one of the people I see at school pick up every day said she’s noticed I’ve lost weight and how I look really good. I just replied that I certainly needed to lose weight for my health and thanked her for noticing.

If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about your weight loss, I’d simply acknowledge their comment with something like “that’s very nice of you to say’ as opposed to thanking them then move the subject or or make an excuse to go and speak to someone else and move away. That way, your shutting them down without being rude and they will soon forget it.

Might it be that other people want to know how you lost weight - not that they have any right to know that at all.