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Original poster

Photo on sideboard

163 replies

Darknessorlighy · 14/04/2025 20:57

Have three photos on my daughter graduation on sideboard , tonight my partner said ‘ he puts up with those photos ‘ I said I am really hurt by that and he said it was a throw away comment . Aibu to think he was so rude ?

OP posts:
tamade · 15/04/2025 03:47

@Darknessorlighy
Its an odd comment for someone to make out of the blue what is the context? Were you in the middle of an argument about something of his which you don't like?

tamade · 15/04/2025 03:43

MayaPinion · 15/04/2025 03:36

Three weddings is not equivalent to three degrees. If my DD graduates 20 times there will be 20 photos of her graduating.. Besides, it’s OP’s house. If she wanted to put up wallpaper printed a thousand times with pictures of her daughter graduating that’s entirely her right to do so. OP, this is a red flag and would make me evaluate the relationship carefully.

Show quote history

I think it is just one graduation ceremony but three photos from the day. Maybe one on stage shaking the chancellors hand, one posed by a photographer in a booth and one with her in her gown holding a bunch of flowers somewhere on campus.
Not excessive, unless they are all A3 size or bigger with massive guilt frames and they keep getting knocked over because no one can squeeze past.

MayaPinion · 15/04/2025 03:36

TennesseeStella · 14/04/2025 22:15

To be fair to him, three different graduation photos is excessive. If she'd had three wedding ceremonies I doubt you would have photos from each of them up in the house!

Three weddings is not equivalent to three degrees. If my DD graduates 20 times there will be 20 photos of her graduating.. Besides, it’s OP’s house. If she wanted to put up wallpaper printed a thousand times with pictures of her daughter graduating that’s entirely her right to do so. OP, this is a red flag and would make me evaluate the relationship carefully.

user1492757084 · 15/04/2025 02:42

Just remind him that you'll proudly display three graduation photos of him any time he wishes to present them to you.

FetchezLaVache · 15/04/2025 02:24

"Not only that, Geoffrey, but if she gets any more degrees I'm going to display a photo of her getting those too".

jen337 · 15/04/2025 02:08

It’s a choice isn’t it? Of all the things he could have said about the photos, from “you must be so proud” positivity, keeping his trap shut neutral, to miserable downer, he chose the latter. Unguarded ‘thoughtless’ words sometimes reveal a lot about a person. Could be out of character or could be he’s a joy thief. Shout out to the “bit much” pp who sounds like another one.

ShouldIEvenBother · 15/04/2025 01:44

Fantastic - he's told on himself so effortlessly. You surely know to throw him in the bin, OP.

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/04/2025 01:37

Does he do all the dusting? That's the only way his comment could be remotely justified.

Monty27 · 15/04/2025 01:07

Of course you should display the photos with love and pride!
He sounds like a jealous mean-spirited and negative asshole.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/04/2025 01:04

Why did he say that? Did you ask?

squawky · 15/04/2025 01:01

He’s got to go.

MrsKeats · 15/04/2025 00:57

And how do they affect him in any way at all??

Seachanger · 15/04/2025 00:52

TennesseeStella · 14/04/2025 22:15

To be fair to him, three different graduation photos is excessive. If she'd had three wedding ceremonies I doubt you would have photos from each of them up in the house!

Well I'm not a great one for displaying photos but my son had 3 graduations and I display a photo of all 3 in my living room. And anyone who notices them comments favourably. Unlike OP's partner.

OP is right to be proud of her dd and her academic achievements.

outerspacepotato · 14/04/2025 22:53

He "puts up" with you having photos of your daughter's graduations being displayed?

That implies he finds you displaying photos of your daughter unpleasant and would remove them if he had his way.

Is this your home? Put him out with the trash. He resents your daughter.

Shared home? I would split, I wouldn't tolerate a man who disliked my child. He's an asshole.

OneFineDay13 · 14/04/2025 22:48

Moveoverdarlin · 14/04/2025 20:59

I assume she’s not his daughter? I assume it’s not his house? I assume he’s an utter cock?

😂🤣 you are spot on

MrsTigerface · 14/04/2025 22:45

How long have you been with this man? Assuming he lives with you?

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 14/04/2025 22:37

Does he have children that haven’t achieved a lot hence the comment??

I would add more photos and then wait to see if he had more to say…….then I would ensure I gave him a good kicking out of my life and my house!!

Never poke Mama Bear about her children

HeddaGarbled · 14/04/2025 22:32

The three different graduations will be Bachelors, Masters and PhD, so 3 escalating achievements, not like 3 weddings at all (unless it’s Trevor, Harry, Barack).

Petitchat · 14/04/2025 22:22

TennesseeStella · 14/04/2025 22:15

To be fair to him, three different graduation photos is excessive. If she'd had three wedding ceremonies I doubt you would have photos from each of them up in the house!

How in earth can you compare three weddings to graduation achievements?

Keep an eye on this guy OP. His attitude is weird.
Is he the dad or stepdad?

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 14/04/2025 22:21

TennesseeStella · 14/04/2025 22:15

To be fair to him, three different graduation photos is excessive. If she'd had three wedding ceremonies I doubt you would have photos from each of them up in the house!

What??

SheridansPortSalut · 14/04/2025 22:21

Are there other children who have no displayed photos? Did you comment on photos or other display/decor items he wanted? How did the conversation come about?

Context is everything.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/04/2025 22:21

What on earth prompted the comment? It sounds like an odd thing to say totally out of nowhere.

And you should be proud of her 3 degrees is amazing

WearyAuldWumman · 14/04/2025 22:20

AnotherHappyCamper · 14/04/2025 22:11

That is a horrible thing to say.

Agree.

My late husband and I lived in my house. I still have photographs up of both his mothers (birth and adoptive), his kids and his grandchild.

I will now be sending the photographs of the kids and the grandchild to them, since they're no longer in touch - but there's no way that I'd have removed them while DH was alive. I'll be replacing them with photographs of DH. The photographs of my mothers-in-law are staying.

MasterBeth · 14/04/2025 22:19

How does he think he is "putting up" with them? How are they affecting his life?

spicemaiden · 14/04/2025 22:19

No. It’s not a throw away comment.

it was meant to undermine.

Does he do this a lot?