Photo on sideboard

How many degrees does your partner have?

Do you equally own or rent your home with him? Or is it yours?

If equal, does he have his personal items on display?

What else do you put up with?

What a mean spirited and unnecessary comment. I can’t see any way it can be excused. ‘Putting up with’??! If he has a difficult relationship with his own kids, that’s for him to sort, and this kind of behaviour makes me think he is saying/doing things to take out on you what is his problem which is not ok. I get the impression from your post that this was not a one off but perhaps the straw that broke the cameo’s back. If he is not treating you well, the relationship needs to end. Life is too short and you deserve better. Good luck.

Do you share the house? Does he have alot of his own things on display? Did he ask to put something up/out and you said no so he said 'i have to put up with all your family photos?' Context is everything here really.

There's a pretty obvious difference. Three weddings would either mean two tragedies or two failures or a mix of those, whereas three graduation ceremonies involve three successes.

I’ve got two massive pictures of my DDs graduation on my sideboard. If DP said he “put up with them” I’d be really hurt and angry. I do know he hates dusting all my pictures. But that’s because he hates dusting.

Your 1st marriage is nullified but the time you have your 2nd. That “achievement” is no longer valid. That isn’t how degrees work though. Each is a separate achievement requiring a lot of hard work.

It’s like putting up a photo of your first grandchild and then not bothering with any subsequent grandchildren because they all represent the same category of “achievement” so why bother?

I’d have told him to leave after he’d said that. That way he wouldn’t have to ‘put up’ with the photos of your DC at all, mean-spirited, arrogant little man.

Now that you have validation he's an arse, the question is, will you still carry on putting up with unacceptable behaviour from him.

It would give me the permanent ick, but it never ceases to amaze me how much shite women on here seem to put up with.

As this is obviously just the tip of the iceberg with your partner's behaviour towards you, I would start making plans to leave or to throw him out if this is your house.

He’s an idiot and his kids are telling you that in their relationship with him. Every single time ask what do you mean? When he says something like this. Get him to explain himself and hear that crap out loud.

Which is why if something happened to my husband I would never move in with someone else. Date or have a relationship- yes. But I wouldn’t want a man telling me what I can or can’t do regarding my children.

He has revealed himself, jealous, selfish, mean. Yuck.

I don't think you should be with someone who has a problem with you displaying photos of your own children in your own home.

No he has, he’s allowed them on his bedside table. The ones of her daughter aged about 5 are even in the bathroom, her daughter is early 30s now.

Are you the same mumsnetter as the one on the thread about being proud of your DC when they graduate who thinks parents shouldn't be proud of their DCs at such occasions?

God, that’s like saying the picture of one grandchild is fine, but to have pictures of each of your grandkids is excessive… each graduation was a separate, hard-won achievement. One doesn’t negate or override the previous ones. Really odd attitude!

Isn't it just a likely that he's never bothered to get photos printed, framed, up on the wall, and she has?

That is appalling.
My OH moved into my home. Which happened to be my family home I was brought up in. So many memories for me.
I realised that I didn’t need too many photos as the house is packed full of memories.
So I have ensured our home is packed full of family photos of his three DC and grandkids.
I still have a few family photos, and pics with OH.’It has been really important to me that it’s his home.
Love it when his DC are here, if they take a call, and tell someone they are at their dad’s.
They probably aren’t as at home as they are at their own mum’s, where they were brought up, but they are very welcome here.
He did have his own home, by the way, but I was so attached to mine.
I don’t have DC, so it’s been a learning curve for me. But I couldn’t wait to put up graduation photos.
It is a real pleasure having OH’s family in my life.

Jealous man. Unattractive at the very least.

He sounds horrible. Whose house is it?

Are the photos just of your daughters or do they contain other family members? Your ex-partner maybe?

Were you together when they graduated and was he expecting to be invited?

Is it your house or a shared property? If it is shared is it bursting with your personal stuff?

On the face of it it is an outrageous comment, but we do need a little more here.

I feel like my dad’s partner could’ve written this.

My poor dad has lived with her for 15 years. They moved into a new place about 8 years ago. He pays his way and more! But it’s HER house. Not a single photo of my dad or his side of the family are up. The house is covered in photos of her daughter, who she rarely sees. The house is like a shrine to her.

My dad and his partner come to mine almost every week for dinner or tea etc. My younger brother and dad are on and off with speaking too.

3 graduations is something to celebrate and be proud of 3 weddings is not something to celebrate and be proud of.

If you're putting up with a lot, after a while that's on you.

Get rid.