To think that Millennials / Gen Z have sucked the joy out of weddings?

Oh thank you! I'll need to look into this. I must admit, now I do have boozy lunches with friends instead of nights out means I can still be home reasonably early and get a decent night's sleep. I guess this is the new phase of my life 🙃

“reports”??
But what are you basing this on?
Equally are countless posts about people coming onto mumsnet and moaning that their kids aren’t invited. Some of them insisting on bringing their kids anyway.

You’re never too old for a party IMHO. I love a party.

Daytime clubs are becoming a thing. Dance your socks off and still be home in bed with a cup of tea by 10. Go for it! Marquee in a field and you can invite everyone you want to 🪩

So the complaints about 'new' weddings are:

• no kids
• dress codes
• expensive locations
• expensive hen/stags
• elaborate lists of 'needs' that cost money and are just photo fodder

And the complaints about 'old' weddings tend to be

• kids running riot/noise during ceremony
• being forced to invite people you don't actually want there because of 'family' or made up social 'rules'
• having to do things 'a certain way' or the neighbours will gossip, regardless of desire or funds
• parents thinking they should have a say over everything, especially if they've paid

I would say it's pretty evenly matched tbh.

Oh and it's the circles you run in, really. Having a big traditional wedding with loads of expensive events is seen as pretty uncool in some circles! I hear of far more low key weddings these days, I think social media is perhaps making people think that mad weddings are more common now than they were, but I've got relatives who could tell you stories of 80s weddings that would make your jaw drop open... there was just no social media then!

@EdithBond I mostly agree with you - marketing, anything to make a profit etc. I have been married but only in a registry office and none of that giving the bride away stuff. There are valid legal and financial reasons for marriage - but not for the completely OTT extravagance that seems the norm nowadays.

There have always been OTT weddings and cheap party weddings

but yes social media does affect what people think of as normal - they have seen more celebrity weddings than normal ones it will screw you up

Gen X were born between 1965-80. Do we really think there were no big flashy weddings between the late 80s and well into the 00s? Let’s not re-write history.

Millennials also aren’t an homogenous mass. I’ve attended so many weddings of friends and cousins and they’ve all been different - castles, country manors, hotels, RO then a nice restaurant, RO then pub, a festival style wedding in the middle of a field, and a pagan ceremony followed by a bbq to name a few. Not to mention those who eloped, either abroad or to Gretna. And quite honestly l’d take any of these over a village hall.

As a clearly geriatric gen X (seeing as millennials are now ‘old’ 😂) I actually think the OTT social-media driven nature of them is part of the spectacle. Us oldies can laugh and gossip about the hen-do fall outs, the endless picture taking that nobody ever looks at after the wedding, the matchy matchy naffness, the puritanical hand maid’s tale bridesmaid dresses (because of the ‘history’ between the groom and the MOH) and the fact that bride chose a stripper dress and yet wore her hair slicked back so severely she looked bald in all the photos.

No one said they aren’t different, but it’s not an either/or choice.

You don’t pick a wedding “instead” of a marriage because you want a party to celebrate.

The next generation down the GenZ’s I know couldn’t give a shiny shit about weddings and most of them according to my very small survey won’t bother!

but I agree OP as per my username, I liked the laid back cheapness of our wedding years.

But why do you care? Surely it's the bride and grooms choice? It's just weird how much so many on here seem to care so much about what other people choose to do. I don't think anything has shifted, people have always had parties to celebrate if they could afford it

No, the marriage is the ceremonial part and can happen alone. The wedding is everything else and marks or celebrates the marriage.

People resent how some chose to do it because the emphasis has shifted from the marriage, the point of the occasion, to the materialism of it.

What really deserves the spotlight is the ridiculous lengths people go to for kids birthday parties. Can someone please start a thread on that 😁

Well a marriage the outcome. A wedding is a ceremony, sometimes followed by a celebration of sorts and I'm not sure why so many people resent how people choose to do this.

Oh I think there's a huge difference. A marriage emphasises the legal binding of two people and needs no adornment. A wedding, hence the industry that has sprung up, emphasises the bling over and above the solemnity of the occasion. The bling comes with price tags chosen from a menu.

I think you're reading to much into it. We had a wedding followed by a reception with lots of food and booze, it was a good excuse for a party. Everyone had a great time. Will probably be the only one we will have when we can dress up and spend an extravagant amount on money on having a good time. I'm tempted to do something for my next milestone birthday but I'm not sure it will be the same as we are old now, some have kids and can't stay up very late without falling asleep! Looking back we spent alot, but have zero regrets! If anything I wish I had invited more people.

It’s not one or the other, zero need to try and suggest you have a marriage “instead” of a wedding.

Gen X and never been married. Neither have any of my friends. So, been to very few weddings. As a feminist, the whole concept of them (bride being given away from one family to another) was highly off-putting.

What I’m surprised about is what a come back they’ve made. And how much money people spend on what’s basically a party. Gen X put on parties for free.

I guess what happened was marketing and rampant capitalism. Millennials got peak marketing as kids in 1980/90s. So, indoctrinated from a young age to spend their hard-earned cash. The Sunny Delight generation.

Gen Z generally seem to be more aware. Not just of marketing, but of challenging social norms and environmental damage, though I guess some buy into the trad wife nonsense.

Tbh it seems its MN people who are miserable and hate attending a wedding, and I assume the majority of them aren't Millennials. I think the MN idea of a great wedding, is one where it's in a hall 10 minutes from your house, where you don't dress up, don't have to speak to anyone, surrounded kids and go home by 8pm. Basically zero effort, and not what most people would categorise as fun. God forbid having a party for adults, where people enjoy themselves. Let alone what the bride and groom wants. I also have no idea why people keep on going on about how weddings are all for the 'gram, I haven't noticed this at all and suspect most of these people don't have friends in RL.

Not everyone finds joy in the same type of wedding, and I don’t see a problem with that. I’m happy for people having the wedding they want, regardless of what that looks like.

A small, more casual wedding isn’t superior to a big ‘flashy’ one. I say this as someone who did have a small casual wedding. The sneering and competitive frugality (‘I recycled a bin bag for my wedding dress!’) that always comes up in these threads is weird tbh.

The last wedding I went to like this was for millennials. Enough to put you off for life.

Best wedding I’ve been to is laid on the floor doing ooo upside your head and knocking your veneer on the person in fronts head

It’s social media. Have a few young ones at work and it’s mindbending. One had manicures/nails done twice a week for a year so the social media photos of ring on finger would look good when the boyfriend got around to proposing. Another had their hair done professionally every weekend day when an outing was arranged with boyfriend in case he proposed for the social media photos. I couldn’t care less, it was their time and money, my mind was just blown anyone would bother with all that.

There have always been bridezillas and very expensive weddings.