I hate having two kids

I agree! From this age onwards (from the youngest being about 6 actually) they just play and play….

Sorry you’re having a tough time OP. I agree that toddlers can be bonkers, and hopefully things will gradually get much easier.

Sounds like I’m in for a fun year ahead. Mine are almost 4 and almost 2, plus a bonus one week old baby. So far, so good, but maybe it’s all downhill from here! 😳😂

Oh op, I remember it well. Hell on earth!!,My 2 boys fought endlessly, hated each other with venom. Now they are grown men and good pals. It will get easier, not sure when it happened but it did 😂

I feel for you OP. Mine are teens now and give me teens over toddlers anytime. Parents of similar age DC often say they are struggling with them growing up but adult DC are so much easier. This stage will pass, and yes they might still argue, but each stage has a time frame, and once your youngest is 4, things will improve!

It’s their age . It gets better . I have 3 and the third threw us off balance a bit but I’m quite convinced a fourth would be easier lol .
What don’t you like exactly

I think it must be quite intense to have one. Like during the school holidays it’s all on the parents to keep them entertained, either themselves or arranging play dates etc. We spend quite a lot of time at home and the girls just play happily (admittedly it’s taken a good few years to reach that point). Now, I would definitely say I reckon it’s easier with two.

What do you mean? Only have one at a time if a sahm.

If it helps OP I had one for 11 years. She was very lonely and often bored, I had to play with her a lot. I found that tiring tbh. Then I had 2 close in age when she was 11, so I ended up where you are, 4 and 2-but also with a teenager (and SEN to boot) it was hard but they werent lonely or bored..the younger ones are 8 and 10 now and it's great! It feels more complete.
Toddlers are hard, everyone knows that! It passes and then you weirdly pine for those days!

Honestly give it a year. Mine do argue constantly but also have so much fun together and don’t rely on us to always be “entertaining”. Those are tough ages. I reckon there’s pros and cons to both but I never worry if I don’t manage to schedule a million play dates in the hols because I know they’ve got each other .

I think you should mind your own. What does it matter to you if the OP posts this every single day? Nothing to stop her and you are not compelled to answer.

You need to adapt. We also had a 4 and 2 year old and the jump was harder than when we went from 2 to 3. DH needs to do better!!! There shouldn't be "screaming and arguing and crying" if he's entertaining them properly! We each got a lie-in one weekend morning and DH wasn't father of the year either I can tell you!

You can't have a "relaxing meal with a toddler". You just have to accept that for a few years. What did you think was going to happen?! Go for lunch instead while they're in childcare. Get a takeaway when they're in bed. Would their childcare provider be up for babysitting?

Our parents were too far away too to help us. You just have to find a way to make it work, otherwise you will all be miserable.

Telling someone they don't get it is a bit ridiculous tbh. Anyone who has had small child absolutely gets it!

i also much prefer having older teenagers to younger kids. They were cute and funny but I’ve never hankered to go back to the young child years.

Give it a rest you lot, who do you think you are, Wagatha Christie over here. She's said this is her first post. She's struggling. What on earth possesses you to determinedly prove her wrong on such an utter non issue.

You both need to give each other a break.

DH needs to get up early on a Saturday and take them both out until after lunch, and then you do the same in return on a Sunday.

Please don't take it out on your second child. My mother resented me and it left me confused and sad. Get therapy to work through feelings.

Bless you…sounds like you have a similar ish age gap to me (2.5 years) and I often look back and think how the actual fuck did I do it. It does get easier as they get older….xxx

Oh I felt like this at the start. I promise it will get easier.

My girls are 11 and 8 now and yesterday I barely saw them because they were off playing together in the garden together literally all day.

Fucking horrendous at that age. Mine are now 10 and 14 and spend 70% of their time being together it’s lovely. When they were 2 and 6 it was absolutely awful. I also worked ft and it was just too much. I look back now with rose tinted glasses but really I didn’t like that time. It does fly though

They also don't have the pressure of being the only child that needs to succeed, they can fuck up for a bit and somebody else can take up that slack! They also have all to cook, clean and self manage as we don't have the time or energy to look after them all the time. Again essential skills.

I thought this type of attitude towards only children were long gone, clearly not. Why on earth would my child have all "the pressures to succeed" and never to have any fuck ups? She's human. My child can also cook and clean and self manage despite being an only child. Bizarre outlook.

We had a 3.5 year gap so it was never heavy duty but it did drag on forever. DH used to take them both on Saturday mornings and I had them both on Sunday mornings. It meant we got a complete break.

Personally I found 1 to 2 much easier than 0 to 1. Fortunately they get on, even at 26 and 30. They still compete though.

I look back to their infant days with great fondness even though dd cried if a bit of her wasn't touching a bit of me until she was about 4.

Get them a tonne of different arts & crafts stuff, that will keep them busy for a bit !

And…. Do a weekend morning each. So you each get a lie in and wander out for a coffee until 10am or whatever. It helps! We still do it now… it’s really restorative

Also we absolutely formalised baby sitting swaps… so you agree to day or night sit your friends’ kids and they do the same for you. That was a great arrangement for us.

When mine were the same age, I think I had a permanent FML feeling. They grow up bloody fast and yes, there might be arguments along the way, but they are company for each other. You are at the coal face of parenting just now. It does get better.

It gets easier! 2.5 years between mine (and no 2 turned out to be nos 2 and 3 - twins) and it’s now an absolute dream. They’re 11 and just 14 and for the last 2-3 years or so a lot of parenting has been sitting back while they hang out doing stuff together… occasional refereeing only, and sone enabling with ideas to get them going, but they’ll now hang for hours together. It’s a joy to see. You’re deep in the trenches and when the youngest starts school it’ll all feel much easier x