I hate having two kids

Ah so sorry to hear that 0h45whisper, I really hope that one day you'll have her back in your life 💐😞

If they ever get on

OP are you working? Do you utilise the free nursery hours?
You seem to be putting barriers in place to everything that people are suggesting that may help you.
You need to get out and about with them, burn off energy. They will be bored if they're stuck at home all the time.

It sounds like you’re completely overwhelmed by the demands of raising your two babies. Try to make time for yourself to relax more. Your children just need to know you are there, try to relax around them, ie you rest whilst they play. Nothing quite prepares you for how exhausting it is juggling home and children, if you need to work it’s even more pressure. Take time out each day just for yourself, 20mins - 1 hr put a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on your bedroom door and r.e.l.a.x
listen to a free Utube meditation. This is no one’s fault least of all your beautiful children. I’m sure you’re a good mum. My daughter cut me out of her life 8 years ago after a falling out and I haven’t had contact with her since despite trying my best to. I miss her so much. Your children will grow up very quickly and when they leave and have families of their own, you may wish you could see more of them, but they might be too busy. Regret is a terrible thing. Just live for today, do what you love to do each day and be happy, then watch the magic happen in your life.

You will. Try and give in to it. Your free time is when they go to bed. Other than that you will only get the very odd day off. Just make your peace with that and try and enjoy them

It was a joke! Three was my limit! Both in capacity and in relation to the cost of childcare, plus I was 40 with a history of miscarriage.

That's why I used a laughing emoji!! Obviously you can! I take my hat off to you.

Well good for you then ! 👏 Some of us can obviously just cope better!

Mine argued and fought from the eldest being 5 and younger one 2. It didn't stop until eldest moved 300 miles away. So bloody draining

Strangely enough DD1 has 13 years between her 2 and DD2 has 7 years. Maybe they didn't want to risk having to put up with constant squabbling between their own kids lol

@Twinkletoes10 4 children,that's wonderful. I'm sure there is never a dull moment in your family home 😂

How many people do you think struggle with children those ages? It's very common. It's offputting for someone who's plucked up the courage to write a first post and then be accused of having posted the same thing before. So what if they did?

I know you adapt around them and that's what I said. I have three! I had the good sense to quit while I was ahead! 😁

Interestingly there is two & a half years between my 2 children. We lived beside 2 sets of Grandparents who were there at the drop of a hat when required. I'm sorry to say OP this is the difference. It's not surprising mums in your situation can become overwhelmed. I worked 2 days a week while they were growing up & would do it all again. I loved every stage despite being exhausted at times but so are people without children who work full time. If you could go back in time would you have chosen a child free life? I'm sure if you asked the vast majority of parents they would say no. It's natural to vent though when having a bad day.

Look she says she hasn't posted before but sounds a lot like a poster who has posted this same thing about 3 times (not the issue) Issue is any helpful replies she argues with . A few pps below even said she's defeatist and argumentative. Why post if not willing to take some things on board. Everything is an issue, if you tell her get someone to have the kids, she says she has nobody. Ask e
why not hire a babysitter , she doesn't reply to that soit's completely ruled out. Children are hard work I know , I have 4!! But you adapt around them not vice versa.

Funnily enough I’ve been thinking about this over Easter holidays. My two fight and bicker constantly, it’s exhausting. One of them competes with the other and they just won’t stop winding each other up. Nothing is more irresistible to them than pissing the other one off.

I can’t stop thinking that if I had just one, I’d have so much more time and mental energy to spend with them. And if there were more children then they’d stick together a bit more, and would have got used to not having all the attention. Probably just the grass being greener though. My sympathies, OP.

Ahh OP. I feel you. I found going from 1-2 so difficult. I felt so overwhelmed and outnumbered and I became the snappy mum that I never wanted to be. Mine are now 6 and 2.5 and I’m starting to find it a bit easier. I think it’s mainly because my eldest has changed so much in the last year and generally become easier and a joy to be around, that everything has felt much better. I love his age now. I still find the 2 year old so tricky - delightful one minute and a demon the next. Trips out are still incredibly difficult with him. Anyway what I’m trying to say is, that as they get older it will get easier. I know how hard it can be with very little support network.

Be careful, I thought that I was just struggling with two (having had a dreamily easy first baby) until I crashed and was diagnosed with PND. Look after yourself, please xx

Agreed - there’s another thread running at the moment about two siblings who just fight constantly and sadly it’s not all that uncommon.

As an only child @itwouldbefineif I was determined that my eldest would have a sibling. My mother is almost 89. There is only one of me and nobody to share the load.

We had no family close by either. Do you have any teenage neighbours who might be happy to come in for a couple of hours to entertain the dc whilst you crack on with something else. It might be £20 well spent.

It's every bit as challenging. The challenges are just different. At least at 4 and 2, you know where they are and what they're doing. Teens, not so much.

@itwouldbefineif please do listen to those of us who have been deep in the trenches! Get a weekend morning off each (I used to just get up and go for a walk, followed by coffeee with the papers… heaven) - you’ll walk back into carnage at 10/11am but it’s worth it, and get another family to regularly swap a baby sitting evening (inc bedtime) with you. You do their kids one night (while your dh does your kids’ bedtime) and that gets you and DH a lovely long night off…

Surely, as mum and dad, you can each cope with taking both the kids out for a few hours? Nothing fancy, just the park/soft play. Then the other parent can get an actual break/sleep. Some times you need to tag team.
And yes, I am familiar with that age gap. I have pretty much exactly 2 years between each of my 3 kids.

Kids grow quick. Enjoy them while they are babies/little. I have 6 kids and love second of them. I love watching them grow into people.

The age gap you have now is as wide as it will ever be if that make sense - there's a big difference between two and four, but that age gap will quickly close as your two year old gets older and can be a proper playmate for their sibling and that's when you'll start to feel the benefit! Mine entertained each other for hours - I'm not saying there wasn't a bit of squabbling, but much less effort than when you have to be their sole entertainment (or always have to invite someone else's child along). They'll always have each other - my two (girl and a boy two years apart) are in their early 20s now, but are still thick as thieves when they get together. You're in the trenches at the moment, but pretty soon you'll be out of this phase and you'll be reaping the benefits.

No they don't all just play and play. Often they fight and fight until they leave home.

Can people not support the OP without resorting to lazy stereotypes about onlies or acting like all siblings are the Brady Bunch?

Silver lining...that must be great for your two-year-old's verbal development tho!

I've two girls and a boy and even now in their 20s, they bicker!! But they have never had a fallout and they're all very close, which I love! Wherever they are and whatever they're doing they're in touch with each other and with me every day.