I hate having two kids

And that’s why some ppl don’t deserve children. Be grateful before something bad happens and then you’ll regret feeling this way

OP, have you been tested for postnatal depression? The way you speak about your children is quite concerning

Have an only child if you want - no need to be so defensive!

I can’t imagine why parents of one child would be defensive. We just love being told constantly how shit our children’s lives must be.

This thread has been posted at least once before, almost word for word. It attracted the usual tedious only child-bashing that time as well. Starting to wonder if it’s someone deliberately trying to provoke this reaction.

How do you know that seeing as you only have one? Most children will play on their own for a bit but they enjoy company. I doubt very much anyone is "missing out on a life skill"!!

I found two easier - mine were close in age so they became a 'job lot', having baths together, going to bed together, doing activities together. They entertained each other a lot of the time.

Have an only child if you want - no need to be so defensive!

Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only one who remembers. I felt the rath of that op previously. It's awful to see someone struggle but why come down so hard on others who are only trying to help & support you? And to say you 'hate' being a mother of two is worrying. It's not a nice way of expressing frustration.

Trust me it’s worth it in the end!! I was feeling exactly the same as you when my two were that age! Now I’m sat on the beach on holiday with a cocktail watching my 2 play happily together in the sea, I'm so relaxed!!… whilst the people next to me have 1 child and the parents are being constantly nagged to go and play and go and swim and build sandcastles etc! 😂 (which I do love doing I’d like to add just not all day every day!) , mine are 10 and 12 tho so older, and they do fight like cat and dog at home though occasionally, but when the do get on it’s so lovely, also from an older perspective I’m so glad I have a brother, my parents have both been through a lot health wise in the last 12 months and I’m so glad I have a sibling as support, would hate to have done this alone,.. hang in there, you’re doing fantastic and it will be worth it! x

Sometimes it's nature. My DC2 came out screaming and is the most sensitive child imaginable.

Combined with my older child whose personality is deeply incompatible with this - and who struggled from day 1 with having a sibling - and I don't think there's been a single day since DC2 was born 10 years ago without screaming, shouting or crying.

We've tried so many things, and we have even sought professional help. The only way to prevent it is to keep them separate, which is obviously close to impossible.

I relate OP. Mine are older now, almost teenagers and the bickering still does my head in. Those younger years were bleak and overwhelming (but it's true you'll look back and think how cute they were regardless). If you don't have a village and you have demanding or sensitive kids, it's fucking hard.

Advice I'd give to my younger self:

Wear earplugs (those ones that reduce / soften the noise). In the day when they are demanding of you, and in the morning when DH gets up with the DC.

Use telly / takeaways / easy meals etc if you need to to get some respite without a second of guilt. Hell, even a week of paper plates so there's no constant grind of washing up could help. Anything to make your life easier that you can think of - do it. Book a £39 room in a Premier Inn if you can afford it to have a proper lie in. Get a cleaner in for a one off clean.

Prioritise yourself. Make sure you (and DH) both get at least 2 hours of child free, work free time every weekend.

Get out of the house whenever you can ideally with other friends who get it.

Wow. Defensive, much?

Yeah but I don't have to go out to get my child entertained with another child, I got one ready made here. Makes life much easier when it comes to getting stuff done. Ask any parent of 2 kids, having one kid for the day is tough, two kids sort themselves out. The peak is 4 kids, one playmate each of the right age. I don't see them apart from food requests!

Every one of your pals has had only one child? That’s very unusual. Given the ages of your children and assuming some of your friends have similarly aged children, no doubt quite a few will have more. In my various groups of pals there’s only one with an only child.

You’re in the trenches now OP, but it does get better. Mine have just gone 8 and 6 & while they do have their bickers, they are also best pals in ways that only siblings can be.
i watch them run upto each other at school pick up and hug each other after being apart all day like they’ve been seperated for month and it makes me smile. 5 minutes after getting home they are arguing, 5 minutes after that their playing roblox or drawing together.
its hard but its the best decision we made to have them close in age. You’re almost there too, stay positive 😊

Jeez, I feel like I can't be the voice of doom now 🙈.

DS was 20 months old when DD was born.
They've always fought, and it's been a bit of a nightmare 😂.

They're 17 and 16 now, still squabbling - but we've survived 🤷‍♀️.

Can your children not entertain themselves without always needing someone else there to entertain them? That’s quite a life skill they’re missing out on.

Parents of siblings who say it’s easier “because they entertain each other” are kidding themselves. We spend time at home and sometimes my son plays by himself happily and sometimes we play with him. We go out and he socialises with other children. Ridiculous to say that the small amount of extra time I spend playing with my only child is more effort than raising an entire second child 😂

I had my first 2 kids 2 year apart. Was bloody hard at times and felt like walking out the door and not coming back a lot, especially when I brought them up on my own. Theyr now 2 lovely adults with good lives and kids of their own. I had quite a large age gap with my last who tells me they feel like an only child and would often ask for a brother or sister when they were young. Too late for that now but I think it would’ve been nice for them to have a sibling closer to their age.
Being a parent is probably the hardest job in the world but your kids wont always be the age they are now. Before you know it you’l have 2 teenagers and that can come with its challenges too so enjoy them while they’re still young . You’l get double the rewards

Once you have one at school easier. I have 4.

Why are your children screaming crying and shouting? All children do occasionally but if this is daily something is going wrong and that's what you need to address rather than comparing with one child.

What are the catalysts to their behaviour? Tackle the cause.

TBH I was willing to give benefit of the doubt and presume it’s a new poster.

but the info is the same, the tone of voice is the same but most tellingly the complete disregard for any advice and the barriers to any solutions is the same. The moaning, the martyrdom, the acting like none of us replying have ever had children or have children.

"He'll be out of the house and driving in just a few short years" - he's only 9! 😂😂😂

Toddler years are tough. I had 4 and just took the early years on the chin. Much more enjoyable from school age.

HANG ON IN THERE OP.

The "reward" for having 2 don't show themselves til the youngest is at least 3, usually nearer 4, and by 5 you're so bloody glad they have a playmate you wipe your memory of the godawful trench years.

I promise it does get better. Those single kids get more bored as they get older, they need entertainment constantly, whereas you can be all smug when your two play together.

Yep, you're still in the thick of it. Been there, done that. But it should be getting easier month by month from here on out.

They'll soon be able to play in the other room for an hour or two, grab themselves a snack, take a bath and generally stop needing such close and constant supervision and attention.

You'll soon be surprised to find yourself getting to watch a whole movie in peace now and then, do your nails, have a whole phone conversation, sit back and finish a whole meal, uninterrupted.

Just hold on a little while longer, dear. You're getting there! :)

@OH45whisper That's so sad OH. You don't have to share although there may be posters who could help with a few suggestions if you added the reason for falling out. Perhaps start a new thread.

It starts to get easier at 6 and 4, 7 and 5 has moments of being a dream in comparison to those toddler days!!