I hate having two kids

OMG that's awful!! She must be crippled by guilt!!

It’s hard work at those ages! 2 is easier as they get older - they do still argue but they also play and entertain each other, awesome for activities like soft
play, the park etc.
I used to drink a hot coffee and read while they played!

I'm that second child
Do better.
Jesus wept.

@itwouldbefineif youre in it now with rough ages, I found it got so much easier when my youngest turned 5… it’s incredibly hard.

Oh do fuck off. They are not "super cute". They are demons in human form. They might look lovely when they are dressed up and behaving but in reality they are kicking off because a swimming costume, one welly and one Paw Patrol sandal is not suitable to go out in in February. Or kicking off because the dinner they loved last week isnt a banana today.

I had SIX kids. All but my first very much planned and wanted. I knew exactly what I was signing up for with each one. Its hard, REALLY hard at times. Doesnt mean that eventually its not worth it but there were days when, with each of them, I couldnt have cheerfully handed them over to whichever random stranger offered to take them off my hands. And with each one it was when they were between 2 and 3.5.

Now they are all bar one, adults living their own lives. They are all very close and keep in touch with each other alot. Their Whatsapp group is called "Housemates" in reference to the fact that they all grew in the same uterus! I love that, but at 2 ? Nah they were all a PITA in their own sweet way.

I have four. I'm an only child and always hated it - socially it wasn't good for me though I'm sure other only children thrive, Had three under three and a dh who worked abroad staying in lovely hotels all week then coming home to the chaos that was our house. Yes some days it was mad but it was always fun.

My oldest is now 31, youngest 21. I bloody love it. I have four gorgeous young adults who are independent and individual but are there for each other - exactly what I missed out on as a child.

I am 51 and remember those days.

Its hard. Really hard. But think back to your own words "I prefer my 4 year old now to how she was at 2" That because 2 year olds are a fucking nightmare. Add in to that a 4 year old who still hasnt forgiven you for making her share you, its a perfect storm. As a PP said, you are nearly there. You have done the worst bit, its gets a tiny bit better every day from now.

Fewer tantrums as the the toddler learns how to regulate emotions (with the odd regression now and then), a bit more time when school starts and the older one starts to have more understanding of the world outside her family. More patience from the older one of her younger sibling, so you have less need to divide and conquer.

My own view? God created toddlers to punish Catholics for banning contraception.

Between 4 and 8 they can't be going out alone, yet can play with a sibling. 4 extra years of you being entertainment.

Have another ! You've not lived until you've set fire to everything!

It is tough, not as tough as four or five.
You'll be glad you managed to raise two when they grow up a little more.

4 and 2 year old children are super cute, try enjoying them a bit more even though you are tired.

I'm even more confused by yours. Where did I say that?

My DD2's best friend since 3 is an only child who grew up 5 doors away. They were always in and out of each other's houses, mostly the friend's house because I had two more!

Don’t worry!! This situation will massively improve! You’re at the very worst stage.

Thank you for being so thoughtful I appreciate it.

Ours need less effort now than single kids I know, give it a couple more years.

Why can't you manage 2 of them alone? If they argue just separate them until theyre over it, but if they're in childcare all week then the weekends they're separated you're not really allowing them time to bond and learn to deal with sibling conflict like in a typical family.
Start taking them out alone together, once you get over the idea of it it'll be fine. If they're not used to doing things it may take them some time, but the only way they'll learn is to experience things

I'm a bit confused about your post. Why are you assuming that only children don't see or socialise with other children?

Would it not be better to tag team with DH & have both together so you can take turns to get some down time? I think those ages are hard work.

I didn't have to go out to entertain my only child either. I spent time with her until she was at an age she could entertain herself (as anyone does with their first child). After that she'd go out and play with kids in the estate, had friends/cousins over/sleepovers. She'd also go to them for sleepovers.

When its hard its very very hard OP.
You will get through it, but I don't doubt you will not regret them getting a bit bigger.

It is sad that for so many women, particularly those working full-time that it can be a very relentlessly hard lonely time, of constant juggling, little sleep and high stress.

I feel very sorry for you.
Be kind to yourself and aim for good enough parenting.
Don't waste your precious energy on guilt, it changes nothing.

I have two, OP, now in their 30s! I wasn't particularly good at toddlerhood, I found it the hardest stage. Mine are 18 months apart, and having a toddler and a preschooler at the same time nearly drove me out of my mind and I wondered why on earth I'd thought two children were a good idea. Things got a lot easier when my oldest started school. By the time they were both at school I was really happy to have the two of them to play together and look out for each other. I'd say hang on in there, it gets better.

I am an only child and have always hated it.
Your children may well be really grateful to have each other - especially, one day, when you are gone.

Up until quite recently I always said I could cope with 1.5 kids but 2 pushed me over the edge. Mine are 19 months apart and the first few years were fucking awful. They are now 12 and 13 and a joy. Has been manageable for a few years. They still fight and there are ups and downs but they are interesting to talk to, funny, can keep themselves relatively amused, and aren't agents of chaos. Primary school is when it gets better. Hang in there. You are not alone in finding this hard.

Hi I also found it a bit tough going from 1 to 2 children, but now they are just 5 and just 3 and I find that for the last few months they completely entertain each other and it's lovely. Hopefully your two will get there soon!

Well you know it's not true, why let it get to you? That poster was particularly defensive and I'm not the only one who noticed that.