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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate having two kids

338 replies

itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 18:15

Hate it. Hate it. All of my friends were one and done and I sort of wish I’d done the same. Except then I wouldn’t have one of them. It would be fine if I was a SAHM and I only had one at a time but I can’t do that.

OP posts:
Original poster
itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 18:30

I hope you’re right but I’m not hopeful. Constant constant arguing.

OP posts:
cressidahun · 14/04/2025 18:29

I knew as soon as you posted they’d be four and two. You’ve nearly broken the back of it now, it’s going to get so much easier.

Jesswebster01 · 14/04/2025 18:27

Give it a few years this will be a god send mine play together all the time now it would be so hard with just 1 they always have a friend to play with

Original poster
itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 18:27

Easier said than done though … we just don’t have anyone to have them.

OP posts:
lifemakeover · 14/04/2025 18:26

Agree with PP who said that going from 1 to 2 was harder than none to 1. Those are very tricky ages. The 4 year old will start school soon (September?) and this will alter the dynamic quite a bit. Do they go to nursery/childcare? I think divide and conquer isn't quite the right approach. You and your DH need some time without both of them to switch off a bit.

mysecretshame · 14/04/2025 18:24

I love having 2!
Those ages were not the best but I found once they were 6 and 3 that they played together loads and were company for each other. They argued a lot too.

Try and meet some people who have more than one, it's pretty common and you might feel less alone.

Original poster
itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 18:22

He has been doing so @OoooopsUpsideYourHead although I had to read him the riot act not so long ago. But he isn’t here much during the week due to work. Weekends we tend to have a child each but I suppose that means there’s no break, whereas once DH having a child meant a break for me and vice versa.

My future just feels full of squabbles and arguments and tale telling tbh.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 14/04/2025 18:21

Toddlers are hard work op....those are quite tiring ages. It gets much easier and then there will come a point where you'll find having two is actually easier in some ways as they'll be able to keep each other occupied and play together.

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 14/04/2025 18:19

Does their dad pull his weight properly?

I find this is nearly always the problem with a mother is struggling.

Original poster
itwouldbefineif · 14/04/2025 18:18

BlondeMummyto1 · 14/04/2025 18:17

Stop comparing yourself and make changes then. It won’t always be awful.

What, like putting one back? Anyway, I’m not comparing myself so much as recognising that life is bloody tough in a way it isn’t when i only have one child.

They are four and a half and two.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 14/04/2025 18:17

How old op? I found the transition from 1 child to 2 incredibly tough...fat tougher than going from 0-1.

BlondeMummyto1 · 14/04/2025 18:17

Stop comparing yourself and make changes then. It won’t always be awful.

AngelicInnocent · 14/04/2025 18:16

How old are they?