I hate having two kids

Im in the same boat as you OP. I keep hoping the squabbling will be less when my youngest is around 5 (as I think my 5 year old gets dragged down to the 3 year olds level!)

I had two with a 2.5 year age difference. Absolutely loved it. There are so many things you can do that will occupy both of them. Crafts, toys, gardening, forest walks, den building, insect watching, even housework, etc. Is it just that you don't know what to do with them?

I have two of similar ages to you and understand how you're feeling! Some times are lovely and they play together so well and we're all happy but the times they bicker and argue and have screaming meltdowns which is at least once a day if not probably more is so hard! The things I'm trying to do to cope is give my older child more autonomy like choosing her own clothes, helping me cook dinner and setting up play stations and definitely time outside. It will get better! 💐

It will defintely get better OP promise! It's hard when they're toddlers and I had the luxury to be a sahm so I can only imagine when you add work outside to that. Take it day by day and try to see if there are certain times that are worse than others and try to find solutions.

Exactly this! (Mine are 7 & 4 too).
I love having 2, they love and entertain each other, play together, they're a little gang. Much easier for me and DH to do stuff together, so much lovelier on holidays, I found 0-1 a million times harder. You're in your groove with the 2nd 1.

Can you say what are the biggest problems you have exactly?

I thought the exact same thing, I recognise something in the wording

I have an almost 3yo and 4yo with no family nearby who can help. It's been tough but I am finding it improving since the little one started doing more herself, like dressing and toilet training.

My DH and I used to split them on weekends so no one parent had to deal with 2 at once but we've recently started being able to handle both together so one will take the kids and give the other parent a break. The squabbling is annoying but they seem to be (a bit!) better at moving away from each other. If my experience is anything to go by, you're just about through the worst bit!

It gets better I promise, soooo much better. I have the same age gap as you but my two are now teenagers. Yes they do still squabble that doesn't seem to end, but we've had many, many years now of them entertaining each other (so I didn't have to!) they've played with each other on every holiday growing up. Now they have actual conversations (when they're not squabbling) and I know they are each others biggest defender when it matters. It's really, really hard when they're 2&4 but pays dividends later.

4 and 2 are really tricky ages, hang in there. Mine are all older than that now, and it's honestly lovely (most of the time!) Especially when they all chat about random Minecraft shit that I've got no idea about and no interest in, or laugh themselves silly over stupid internet jokes - as they get older, there are some things that siblings are better for than parents.

On weekends I think it's easier to take it in turns each parent taking both kids so the other one can have an actual break.

Have three then, simples.

love having 2- they are now 4&7 and play together, yes they fight but the time I get back from not having to entertain them all the time is priceless.

I feel like every one on here who says they hate having two kids have a two year old and a 4 year old. These are such tough ages! Once older one is in school with routine I suspect it will get better. But I’m sure you feel like you’re in the trenches!

It will get better, you still have a toddler. It’s amazing when they get to like 5+ and seeing their relationship with each other.

I have six. 4 and 2.5 is hard. My last 3 were super close (3,1 and newborn). I used to find getting them up and out in the mornings the easiest. I would knacker them out in the morning feed them out either in a cafe or packed lunch In The park when weather was good. Home for a nap for the ones that still napped and tv for those that didn’t.
It definitely gets better hang in there.

Didn’t you post this exact same thread a day or two ago?

It gets easier when they’re older. I miss mine being little but tbh it was hard work. Mine are 10 and teenage now and it’s far easier now we can hold a conversation, they’re really funny. I don’t miss the younger years.

I found 2 much easier than 1. We already had all the stuff and knew what to do plus they could play together.

my dsd was an only child until we had dc and she was lonely and needy, being a big sister had defiantly been positive for her.
mum sure they are advantages to just having one but you’ve got two so need to look at the advantages of that.

Two year olds and four year olds don't have much common ground so squabbling is par for the course. When they are four and six it will be a lot less.

You’re in the trenches when they are this age. Honestly, it does get better.

It can be tough. A big step for me was having coat hooks at DD1's level so that she could put on her own coat and shoes to go out. Those of us who have come out the other side will tell you that it does get better and you really will feel nostalgic for some of these days.

My DGran had 5 DDs. When my mother mentioned that 2 DC was tough, DGran was totally devoid of sympathy and she told my mother, 'Well, two is about as bad as it ever gets.' Meaning that by the time #3 arrived, #1 was big enough to help.

Not what you want to hear, but it's why I stuck at one.
Just hope it gets easier as they get older.

He'll have to take two then, just like you do.

You need a break.

As everyone has said it gets way easier.
it was hard when mine were that age, especially with very limited outside help. Give it a year or so and you’ll probably be finding things much easier than your one and done friends