I hate having two kids

Mine are roughly the same ages and it definitely has its challenges! Lovely too of course, but the combination of 2 and 4 has hit us the hardest so far.

One thing that works really well when mine are arguing is to put them on the same team so they feel in cahoots. For example, I might pretend to be a lion/monster/dragon or whatever and chase them both. Or I might jokingly say I'm going to sleep and I hope no cheeky children wake me up. It weirdly works really well for my two 🤷‍♀️

Do you’re DC pick up on how much you ‘hate’ having 2 kids?

Just asking, why did you have 2?

And lastly, I get it you’re just venting!

Honestly my oldest is nearly 10 and was just talking today with a friend about how fast things have changed and he’ll be out of the house/pretty independent in just a few short years. In 7 years he’ll be driving - feel like yesterday that he was 3 so those 7 years will fly, each year is just getting faster. Honestly, it’s not forever, and you might find you enjoy it more as they get older and more interesting. Maybe not, but at least they get older and more independent. Plus their age gap will lessen and they will do more stuff collaboratively.

wait until they're teens you'll be wishing for those days of when they were little back! the ages yours are at can be difficult but you will soon have a few short enjoyable years before they hit their teens. My teens are good but they not longer want to do things with me like they used to which i know is normal as they're growing and gaining independence. I do miss the little versions of them. They grow up in the blink of an eye.

Yeah I thought I’d read this at least once or if not twice before. Perhaps OP doesn’t want advice just a place to vent?

There was a post about dreading the two weeks off at Christmas when nursery was closed and the OP didn’t want to spend the 2 weeks with her 2 and 4 yo as she found them really hard work. Seems really
similar to this post and the link a PP has linked in

Minne have two years between them and the early years were though. Now they are teens and both of them are happy that they have a sibling.

I think this op posts this same issue a lot and often any helpful comments are turned into negatives.

Mine are 4 and 6 now, and it's wonderful. A lot more playing together than squabbling, although there is still squabbling of course. I was hard when they were little, but now our friends with only children seem to be constantly required as playmates while I can do my own thing a lot of the time while mine play together. They're also very good at sharing.

Oh my god, I'm the same. It won't get better. I really feel you...
No family in UK, no help,no support.
My first born (6) with ADHD, second born is 2.
I literally crying every day.

Try having 3 and 2 are neurodivergent 🤪

It will get better op.
I have 2 both adults now 22 and 20 i raised has a single mum all their lifes.
But i did it without help without CM just me.
Some days harder than others but it got easy as they got older nothing would get me back to the younger years no way.
I had my children young pleased i did im not even 40 yet.
Hang in there op it will be worth it.

It will be easier when at least one is at school. Mine are nearly 4 years apart, so I've always had them mostly one at a time as eldest was in nursery and almost at school when 2nd was born, which I find much easier to parent. We do the same thing of having one child each at weekends, and we don't have much of a break without them, but I find that's OK as I'm doing it one to one. We also kept them napping for as long as possible so I would get a break in the afternoons (my eldest napped until school age), and make use of drop-off activities and things like kids theatre and concerts where you still spend time with them but someone else is entertaining them. And holiday camps once they are school aged.

I have friends with onlies and in some ways the juggling is easier, but they are always having to arrange play dates and go on holiday with friends or wider family. We are in a bit of a bubble and I wouldn't want to have another child to come on our family days out or holidays.

When my second turned two and got opinions of her own I remember thinking aaah this is why everyone says 2 kids is hard. Up till then my daughter just in the pram happy doing everything. I remember being at a farm where she wanted the animals and my 4 year old wanted the playground. They were too young to negotiate with effectively. I recall just giving up after a stand off in the entrance.

it gets better. And then in my view easier than just one, they play together lovely (6 and 4) and are really good at coming up with compromises between them and taking turns

are they the same gender? I think that helps sometimes. Mine are girls and tend to like the same things. The older they get the easier it is. Today they have laughed and played all day and are super excited in their bedroom because I’ve let them have a little snuggle and chat for 10 mins in the same bed before I go up for bedtime stories. It will get better.

Now,now, that is the opposite of help 😆

<voice of experience as a middle child of three who vowed never to have a third one>

I was looking for this!! It seemed so so similar.

Yes the entertaining each other is priceless. My friends who only have 1 feel needed all the time

I have DS and DD adults so all of this is a distant memory .

I do know some of DS friends were from One and Done families or large age gap ( so the youngest one was almost like an only child )

DS was a bit envious as his mates didn't have to share , more time with parents etc. But the friend often told me they were jealous as he had a sibling .

So you don't know what's going on behind the scenes !

It is tough , mine wound each other up big time . Even now as adults but they're pretty close .
I wasn't ever in the market to have 3 , I am a middle child of three

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5314197-to-wish-i-hadnt-had-another-child?reply=143520226

Your descriptions of the weekend etc are almost identical.

Hopefully the reassurances that it’s gets easier with time helps. Everything with parenting is a phase and this one will pass too.

We have four. All adults/teens. I absolutely love hearing them laugh and talk to each other. They are best of friends. As toddlers they were kicking the shit out of each other daily. I am so happy they will have each other when we eventually die. Over the years there have been so many moments of joy as they have played together. Of course there have been fights and horrible times but the good times far far outweigh the bad. They've also learned the art of negotiation and how to resolve disputes and to compromise. I think this is helped set them up for being great partners for the future.

They also don't have the pressure of being the only child that needs to succeed, they can fuck up for a bit and somebody else can take up that slack! They also have all to cook, clean and self manage as we don't have the time or energy to look after them all the time. Again essential skills.

Only children have lots of benefits and in some ways it's a lot easier for parents but it can be quite dull for them.

It gets sooo much easier in a couple of years when you hit the golden ages.

I just have the one, and whilst it was all fun and games at the younger age it's harder now. He is 12 and if there are no friends available he's lonely, when we go on holiday if he doesn't meet friends he's bored and lonely and we have to ensure one of us is available to entertain him in the pool etc, which if course we enjoy but he gets fed up of us! When we go to theme parks etc we've started to let him bring a friend so he has someone his own age to have fun with. I am happy with our decision to have 1 but I do sometimes wish we had had 2.

They are at ages where it can be difficult. It doesn't last forever. I remember going through a difficult phase when ours were 8, 4 and 1 that lasted for maybe a year or two then things just got so much easier. You're in the trenches, but it won't last forever.

It’s better once at school and mine are teens now and hang out together and are great to be around.