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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL buying baby cringey clothing

195 replies

Copenhagener · 14/04/2025 14:20

A very short AIBU.

I had my first baby last year. My MIL wants to buy baby clothing - I’m fine with that.

Instead of buying baby items we’ve said we like or need, she keeps buying baby clothing with pointed and cringey ‘grandma knows best’ slogans that I find so embarrassing to dress her in - so I don’t.

See picture below for an example: ‘Grandma: a mother without rules!’

There has also been: ‘grandma’s best friend’ ‘pass me to grandma’ ‘’if mommy says no, ask grandma!’ ‘call grandma: she always knows what to do!’ Etc. I have no idea where she finds this nonsense. She’s deliberately going out of her way to buy them. A lot are clearly low-quality rubbish from the internet.

She keeps asking why baby isn’t wearing said clothing and going on and on about how funny these outfits are when I see her.

AIBU to not dress baby in these outfits / ask her to cut it out?

It’s not her first grandchild and up until now, I thought we had a good relationship, but now I feel a bit irritated with her.

MIL buying baby cringey clothing
OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 14/04/2025 15:46

Copenhagener · 14/04/2025 15:14

Yes - she said baby spit up and needed changing, which is totally okay, but when I did the laundry that afternoon, the original clothing was dry and not stained.

I think it may come from a place of insecurity more than malice - that she must be the ‘fun’ one so the grandkids will love her most.

She did something similar when we got a dog - she kept buying and feeding her copious amounts of treats - handfuls at a time - so dog would love her, and telling all her neighbours that she was the dog’s favourite person in the world. She eventually cut it out when we had a very big vet’s bill from dog getting incredibly sick from some random food she got from the internet and fed to her without our permission (she was on a medicated diet at the time).

Show quote history

Jesus, she nearly killed your dog! She sounds really stupid but quite dangerous. Be careful she doesn't do something even more ridiculous with your child in her quest to be the 'favourite' grandma'.

DepressingMumLife234 · 14/04/2025 15:45

Bizarre but not the end of the world. I'd bite my tongue, take one photo with the tshirt on and then throw it at the back of the wardrobe so no one can get to them. OR put them on when you know baby will have a poonami 😅 my son always did a poonami after a morning feed if i put him in the bouncer chair.

Justwant2sit · 14/04/2025 15:45

Get knitting : or find someone whom will and add a tank top (?) waist coat thing to cover the slogan or or long bib.

not my taste but in the house.. in her house (?) .. covered in food it’s probably unobjectionable. Fight with kindness .. put it on once and click click then send her a photo in bed .. a week later in the garden .. a week later in the pram. Bed garden pram ( kid would only need to wear the item for 10 mins)

then as soon as you can have a thing : Star Wars.. toucans … horses .. and ask her to buy stuff like that to make little billy/billie smile !

Nanny0gg · 14/04/2025 15:45

iamnotalemon · 14/04/2025 15:39

You sound ungrateful if I’m honest.

I'd be exceptionally ungrateful, both for the slogans and the source

Nanny0gg · 14/04/2025 15:44

Copenhagener · 14/04/2025 14:44

Quick clarification on quality: a lot of it is from the website TEMU, which I’m not comfortable with my baby wearing because of concerns about how the clothing is manufactured / lack of regulations. I tried washing one set before use (was going to use them as sleepwear) and they literally disintegrated in the washing machine. It’s not about labels (I don’t buy anything designer, though I prefer organic cotton/wool) but about genuinely low-quality items.

I have put baby in said clothing a couple of times when I know I would see MIL, but it’s more that every time I send a photo, she asks why baby isn’t wearing these exact clothes. Once, she even changed baby into them when I was in another room. We had a meal with her recently and she kept talking about it to the people at the table and pointing out the slogan - and saying how it’s so true. My baby is 4 months old, so I just find it utterly odd and felt a bit attacked. I’m not some strict disciplinarian with my baby, so I didn’t like that she kept pointing out she is ‘fun’ and mums aren’t…

Now you've said Temu I'm with you all the way

I wouldn't even put them in the charity bag

Can your husband have a word?

PennywisePoundFoolish · 14/04/2025 15:43

My MIL is brilliant but when DS1 was born there was some weirdness. I think she felt my mum was seeing him more (which wasn't true) and it presented itself with her talking through the baby "oh is mean mummy making you cry again", particularly when other people were there. It really frustrated me, but we got past it and she's an amazing grandmother.

What I would do is tell her about the issues with Temu etc clothing but use any she gets from ok places. I understand they're not to your taste, but they grow fast and I wouldn't be going nuclear. If she pushes on why not always dressed in them I'd just say your baby has a lot of clothes and you intend to use them all.

Would she like grandma gifts? Mugs/car stickers etc? I know the suggestion above was about mean ones, but if she'd like them I would get her that kind of thing, she can then show out to her friends.

mummysmagicmedicine · 14/04/2025 15:42

Perfect to wear if you do any messy activities or for when weaning x

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/04/2025 15:42

I just couldn’t get worked up about this. Your child has a grandparent who is proud and loves them - maybe displaying it in every item of clothing is a bit much but it’s hardly crack cocaine. The clothes will be perfectly fine to donate if you aren’t going to use them, but ascribing malicious intent or a criticism of your parenting says more about you than it does her.

Waterlilysunset · 14/04/2025 15:41

iamnotalemon · 14/04/2025 15:39

You sound ungrateful if I’m honest.

Why would anyone be grateful for clothing saying grandma knows best? as if that’s a …gift?!?!?

ThisFluentBiscuit · 14/04/2025 15:41

Typical over-excited grandma! Irritating but understandable. Sounds as if she's gone a bit overboard with the slogans.

Just put them on when you see her, and apart from that, it might be useful to keep them as spares for when the baby vomits/has a blowout etc. Then later, you can turn them into household cloths!

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 14/04/2025 15:41

iamnotalemon · 14/04/2025 15:39

You sound ungrateful if I’m honest.

Why should people be grateful for a load of tat? She isn’t grateful because she doesn’t want it.

LadyOfACertainAge · 14/04/2025 15:40

Oh dear. I was ready to be on MIL and say that they are just clothes to be pooed and thrown up on but dear lord those are spectacularly shit.

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 14/04/2025 15:40

I used to really hate it when people got my dd clothes that I didn’t like. I felt like I couldn’t return just because they were not To my taste but also didn’t want to dress her in them. In the end I’d put them on and send a picture and get her changed. Or use them as night time clothes, particularly vests etc.

iamnotalemon · 14/04/2025 15:39

You sound ungrateful if I’m honest.

WaltzingWaters · 14/04/2025 15:36

Okay for her to get one of those outfits, but to continue buying tonnes of “grandma” outfits is just bloody bizarre. yanbu! Pop baby in them on occasion when seeing MiL but otherwise leave it.

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 14/04/2025 15:32

BoredZelda · 14/04/2025 14:26

If you don’t like the slogans, fair enough, but to say “low quality rubbish” sounds snobby, you need to get over that.

People are allowed to have standards.

Richtea67 · 14/04/2025 15:31

Oh God I would hate this and my MIL has bought some shockers in the past. Accept graciously, straight into a bag for the charity shop. Ignore all further comments about said clothes. What does your partner think?

namechangeGOT · 14/04/2025 15:31

My MIL used to buy god awful clothes/accessories for my baby. Think those Broderie Anglaise footmuffs for prams, big chunky hand knitted cardigans, all the things I would never have bought myself but he’d have them on whenever we went round because other than having a shit taste in baby clothes she’s a lovely woman and I wouldn’t have a wanted to offend her and baby didn’t give a shit what he was wearing! He never wore them anywhere else though!

ExpatMum41 · 14/04/2025 15:31

thecatsarecrazy · 14/04/2025 14:31

My mil has terrible taste. When my boys were younger they were pageboys for my brother in laws wedding.
She wanted to buy their outfits and when I bought them a shirt, wastecoat and tie she had a right shitty on. I think her mother of the groom outfit cost £3 from primark and she proudly told everyone
If you don't want to dress your baby in those then don't. I wouldn't either. My youngest son was given a girls top with a heart on it from my mil mum for his 1st birthday. It went in the charity collection bag. She thought it was fine but my son had plenty of other clothes and didn't need to wear a top clearly for a girl.

My MIL did very similar things when my daughter was born. Crappy Chinese tat, second hand clothes that were badly faded, obvious boys' clothes, 6 moving box sized boxes of the baby stuff she'd saved for 35-38 years, even the torn and poo-stained ones. She'd literally say "I know it's not great/stained/too small/incorrect for the time of year, but it'll do", when handing them over. It was as if she didn't give a shit that we wanted to buy our own child clothes (and a cot, a bath, etc etc), ourselves.

After she ignored our requests to check with us before buying and just kept leaving them in our mailbox or letting herself in with the 'emergency' key and depositing them on our kitchen table when we were out or asleep (yes, you've read that correctly), she got VERY ANGRY and emotionally manipulative when we eventually started to tell her no.

That's just one of the many reasons we ignore each other now.

5128gap · 14/04/2025 15:31

I think you are reasonable not to want to put your baby in poor quality clothes and not to want to take her out in clothes with slogans. I think you're being unreasonable in extrapolating from the slogans that your parenting is being attacked. The slogans are nothing to do with you, they are comments on the grandmother/grandchild relationship, and simply a sign of your MiLs pride and joy in her role as grandmother. They're meant to be a light hearted reference to a grandma adoring and spoiling a grandchild and a jokey nod to the 'grandma knows best' trope. I think you are seeing malicious intent where its unlikely to exist, which is a shame. Because its sounds like your baby had a devoted grandma. Albeit with questionable taste in clothes!

Original poster
Copenhagener · 14/04/2025 15:27

BlondeMummyto1 · 14/04/2025 15:20

Quietly donate.

I honestly feel ethically icky with donating clothing from TEMU/Shein/etc. I’d be worried in case it was contaminated with toxins / poorly manufactured and caused a baby to get hurt. I hate throwing things away; but in this case I probably will for my conscience’s sake.

OP posts:
ForOliveMember · 14/04/2025 15:27

I actually quite like that vest, it's one of the more tasteful slogan stuff and I usually hate the slogan stuff.

I would kill to have a Grandma for my son, my myself and my husbands mum have both passed away. So just be glad your baby has someone who loves them very much.

Spirallingdownwards · 14/04/2025 15:23

See if you can find somewhere that does personalised items and have one made up saying "my granny (name) is a weirdo" or "my granny (name) has poor taste in clothes and buys me crap like this".

Renamed · 14/04/2025 15:22

Anyone who made my dog sick because they were such a complete idiot would not be getting near a child

Aoppley · 14/04/2025 15:22

If my MIL gave me a vest like that it'd go straight in the bin!! I would tell her straight that that's incredibly cringy and she is not a mum. A grandma is not a mum without rules FFS.

If her response to you sending photos of baby is to ask why he's not wearing her cringe clothes, I'd stop sending her photos. Your DH can deal with that.

And get rid of the clothes so she can't change baby into them. If she asks where they are just say they disintegrated in the wash or shrunk so you had to get rid of them