MIL buying baby cringey clothing

Is your baby the first girl as she sounds a bit too over the top?

Maybe time to wash them all at 60 degrees with a brand new cheap black towel....whoopsie.

I don’t agree with others about placating her and using the clothes.

You need to tell her that you don’t dress your child in slogan clothes and that you don’t want to use clothes from Temu/Shein etc You can gently explain why and ask her to stop.

If she carries on then I’d start giving the clothes back to her.

It sounds harsh but I think it’s the only way she’d listen.

My dad bought my ds an awful jumper it said’if you think I’m bad, you should see my grandad’ he paid a lot of money on. My dad is no way bad he’s a no nonsense type of man. Also calling my son bad just a huge no from me! I sold it on eBay

I wouldn’t accept anything that I knew had been bought from a place like Temu as they are known to use forced labour to make their products and most of it is shipped from China so it’s also environmentally unfriendly. Surely she would understand if you told her you don’t like the idea of people being exploited just so first world consumers can save a bit of money. (It’s also very attention-seeking of her, and controlling in a passive aggressive way, but probably best not to mention that!)

We used clothes we didn't like for messy food/play. Took a photo first obvs, then apologised bc article was 'ruined'

She has a self-obsessed MIL who wants to be the baby's favourite person, like she did with OP's dog (which she nearly killed in the process). It's all about MIL herself, not about the baby.

The trouble with indulging this, is where does it stop? Will she be buying slogan t shirts and other things no one wants for years? It might get even more out of control!

I don’t understand why she cannot ask what’s needed. Who honestly wants crap that goes to landfill? On that basis alone, clothes should be chosen carefully. Steering mil towards buying school uniform in a few years time would help though!

Gosh them clothes are so cringey 😅🥹 I understand where you are coming from. I would feel repulsed putting them on a baby too.

It's probably / hopefully coming from a place of goodness and her being proud - wanting to share images and show off her grandchild and the 'cool' and 'funny' clothes she has selected. Still though - yucky - unfortunately. And its kinda like overbearing via clothes lol who wants to read slogans like that all day as you look down at your baby. Impending MIL knows better than you do reminding you as you care for your child.

Different taste I suppose.

It would be such a pity if the baby had some serious poonamis over the worst of them and they were so bad they had to be thrown out.

I’m with you OP hate this kind of clothing and my MIL was the same. I made a point of putting my son in something she bought every so often when we visited or when they had him while I was at work. I also used to take photos of him wearing stuff, send it to her and then donate it. It kept her happy.

We did in the end have to ask her to stop buying clothes as it got to the stage where everytime we went round she presented us with a new wardrobe and it was all way too much. I think because I dressed him in the clothes she bought, she thought we liked them and then bought more, so if you do it choose wisely.

I would have drawn the line at Temu clothes however. I watched a documentary on this type of clothing and nearly everything contained lead and other hazardous chemicals. I refuse to buy anything from that site and would never dress my kids in it. I would maybe explain to your MIL about Temu and just say you appreciate the thought but you really don’t agree with their ethical practices and won’t be dressing baby in anything from there - in a nicer way than I’ve just said. Maybe even ask her to watch the documentary. Trust me, my MIL only ever bought clothes from supermarkets so there’s plenty of crap with slogans she can still buy if she wants to without having to use Temu.

She has an overbearing MIL trying to impose her dreadful taste onto a baby. The OP is better off telling her the clothes are not to her taste and explaining if granny wants to buy baby some clothes perhaps they could go shopping together. I always ask my DIL what she would like me to get the grandchildren as I appreciate there may be generational differences in style but would never dream to put impose the godawful choices this woman is imposing on her poor DIL.

Tbf that baby grow looks really nice. But if you don't like it then you don't like it. Either tell her to stop or dress baby in it when grandma visits.

She has an interested mil
Would she rather she wasn't interested.
Give and take.

That will just encourage her to keep buying more, definitely not the way forward.

Take a picture of baby wearing it send it to grandma and then accidentally spill baby food that stains on it - throw it in bin - everyone is happy

Once, she even changed baby into them when I was in another room

I would stop indulging her. She is clearly overstepping and it's only going to get worse. I would not take anything from her anymore. Just tell her you have more than enough clothes and don't have room for anymore, so any additional clothing would get donated anyway.

Be very firm and don't let her near you kids unsupervised. She clearly can't be trusted.

Is it because she is a MIL to a woman in this instance? Does she have grandchildren by her daughters? Maybe she didn't buy these clothes for them because she feels safe and secure in her status as granny because those children belong to a daughter. You are a DIL . That's a different relationship and difficult to navigate. Is this her way of being 'seen' when you have a mum who is, obviously, also a granny

If they're mainly bodysuits like the one pictured, or vests. I would say YABU, as these are usually underneath clothing (with the exception of very warm days). But if it is outer wear, I would agree with you!

The other thing you can do is spend half an hour one afternoon taking about 20 different pics in all the clothes and send them to the gift giver a couple at a time over a couple of weeks. It makes it look like they are wearing them all the time but it was actually just a 30 minute photo shoot.

Actually she's buying the stuff that she wants you to buy her. If I was you I'd have DH warn her about the TEMU toxins re children's clothes and then the both of you ramp up the Grandma stuff going back the other way. Get her 'best grandma' mugs and aprons and glasses case etc - personalised photo birthday cards from your DC with pics of them both etc.

You'll satisfy the need to 'grandma' everything without your baby having to constantly wear the clothes.

I also tried to pre-empt this with my in laws by saying “please if you would like to gift clothes no pink and no slogans, natural fibres etc” and MIL must have spread the word as all the gifts from that side were genuinely lovely items.

My own father however, who is really stylish and I never expected to be a risk, got a huge selection of 100% acrylic candy floss pink things with complicated buttons and collars and bows appropriate only for maybe a doll rather than human newborn.

I tried to put baby in one of the cardigans when he visited but it was so plastic and flammable feeling that I actually couldn’t bring myself to do it, I just imagined how hot, itchy and bothered I would feel wearing it and couldn’t do it to my newborn.

He has asked why he hasn’t seen Bub in her “pink things” and I have just deflected as best I can (gaslighted him and said she was in them last time didn’t he notice? lol).

Given your updates she does sound batshit. As previously mentioned, get your husband to back you up on the clothes and start planning how you're going to handle the babysitting battle that's building, given the backstory there. How does your husband feel about that one - does he agree with his sister or his mother?

My mother would buy my kids things I didn’t like or need and no amount of telling her would get her to stop until one day I mentioned that I had to keep donating all the new things as I just didn’t have the room. When she knew I was giving them away she suddenly thought twice about buying anything new.

This isn’t your problem to resolve.

Your DH needs to tell his mum that the baby won’t be wearing by any Temu clothes and explain why and ask her to stop buying them.

Job done.

If she continues to do so, give them back to her and say “you’ll need to speak to DH about this, he’s too worried about these type of clothes to let baby wear them, so why don’t you just take them home with you and I’ll get DH to call you about it later.”

And repeat until she stops wasting her money.

Its his mum, he needs to sort it.

I agree with you OP and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, especially as she doesn’t actually get anything you’ve specifically asked for or need. If she was helpful in other ways then she might have earned a bit of indulgence with silly slogan stuff, but if not then no way.

People saying to dress baby for photo or put it aside and actually remember to dress the baby in the items when she’s around must have had babies a long time ago or never as that’s actually a pretty big inconvenience for a sleep deprived parent to do and genuinely irritating and difficult to store this stuff and keep track.

If relatives aren’t going to do you the courtesy of asking what would be helpful, or buying you something you’ve said you need, then I don’t think they can expect the courtesy of photos of baby in tacky items.

And I totally agree on the quality thing and being particular about what fabrics your baby wears too. Very natural to feel this way and have heightened feelings about protecting your baby.

The only clothing gifts I feel obliged to take photos of or dress baby in are the hand knitted gifts due to the effort that’s gone into it, but something from Temu with a slogan I hate? Absolutely no way. I will thank every gift giver no matter the gift but the only people who get pictures are the knitters or if someone has given something truly lovely that shows they thought about what we might like.

The only thing you can do really is just avoid and deflect “oh sorry I forgot” “ah they’ve grown out of that now!” Etc and then just gently try to redirect her - I sometimes send my MIL pictures of baby things I find cute so she gets some inspiration (and bless her, she will hunt the exact thing down and buy multiple for us).

Anyway, my sympathies, it’s a minefield!