To be put off by this?

Nah. Don’t pursue this.

If they are just using kitchen roll and not using proper cat litter that absorbs the smells then yes I can understand why the house smells.i expect if they have a lot cats and a lot of litter trays then buying cat litter would be expensive and if your bf is already helping out a lot financially money is possibly tight.
I'm sort of torn in this because I love cats and I have a good friend who takes in strays and has a lot of cats. She looks after them well as regards vetinary attention, getting them neutered, etc and her house doesn't smells- they go outside a lot anyway. But when I see them walking round the work surfaces in the kitchen it turns my stomach and I don't like eating there.
So whilst I have sympathy for your bf , who is obviously used to the home situation and oblivious to it, and sounds a really nice guy, I can also see why his home situation is a problem for you. Not him actually living at home but the stomach turning element of it.

Ugh, please walk away. If he hasn’t got the balls now to tell his mum he wants to stay out after a certain time, or tell her that “tea time” doesn’t always suit him, he’ll never grow any.

Sounds like a mummy’s boy. Had one of those. Nightmare. You’ll end up just being his mum and he’ll expect dinner at 5:30 on the dot. Don’t know about you, but I can’t stand rigidity. Such an ick!

@spacehopper88 please, for all of us, just walk away. Watching you dither is painful.

If he can’t smell what a tradesman calls a danger to health, he is not a catch.

1. To me there is living at home with parents as it works for everyone in that house and they are all independent grown ups

1. there some weird set up going on

If 1 i would have no issues

He sounds like a lazy, mummy’s boy with a potential for cocklodging. I’ve got the ick just reading about him 🤷‍♀️

If we’ve gone for an afternoon out he has to be home for X time when tea is ready, and he has said before he can only meet either day time or evening not both as he has to do jobs for his mum.

Come on, now. Why is this even a post? This is arrested development. And filth. Dump this man-child.

Move on, his parents won't change and he will bring those habits with him.

You’re allowed to want a partner with their own (non stinking) home. You’re fully entitled to be put off by anything - even the way he puts on his socks. However, this would be major for me. I wouldn’t date a 34 year old who lived with his parents.

Have you actually been to his home OP and seen and smelt for yourself?
It's possible the decorator who refused to work there might be one of those people who hates cats.- a lot of people don't just dislike cats, they actually hate them.
In mitigation of him still living at home there a lot of people in this situation now because of the cost and unavailability of suitable housing.
I would certainly want to know how capable he is of looking after his own needs as regards doing his own laundry, cooking etc. Because I think if he still relied solely on his mum for that it would be very off putting.

OK, this changes things a bit. I wouldn’t be continuing this relationship.

Depends on the circumstances really. If by ‘he never intends to move out’ you mean ‘he never intends to have a cohabiting relationship with a partner’ then that would be weird. Also if he’s still living like a child and having to be home for his tea and let his parents know where he’s going etc, that would put me off, and if he’s not capable of doing his own washing and so on.

But if you mean he just lives there independently, essentially like a lodger, to save money, then that’s different. I wouldn’t be wanting to stay over with him there, but other than that I wouldn’t be bothered.

I would, however, be bothered that he was happy to live in a house that stank of cat piss and I’d want to know why he thought it was OK.

You can be put off my anything you like. Unhygienic living conditions and little obvious intention to leave it is certainly a good enough reason.

I personally don't see what is wrong with someone still living at home, at any age nowadays, what with the cost of housing, and renting. As long as he is a functioning adult, able to look after himself, and has an income, I would not be bothered by this at all.